Am I the only person in the world that doesn't want kids?

[Felisity]

Hubby and I don't have children. I'm 35, he's 29. We have talked about it many times, and both of us have mixed feelings. Sometimes we do get that tug at our heart, but other times we are just glad the cat, rabbit and dog are our only extra companions.

But... he and I both have health issues also. I think we both fear that we won't be able to keep up with children. We do good to take care of each other and our fur-children.

 

[RoloMather]

Birth rate is increasing because of the immigrants.

 

[Imported]

Are non-kid people too materialistic?

Maybe. I know I'm materialistic.

 

[ModerateRepZero]

there was at least 1-2 in the "do you regret having kids?" who said they didn't want kids...

http://forums.anandtech.com/showthread.php?t=2050747

 

[Inspector Jihad]

if anyone is to have kids, try not to be so douchey about it...like you just did something special and everyone else's shit is trivial. just about everyone can pop out a kid.

 

[nick1985]

GF and I have been together for about a year. We both dont want kids.

 

[TheNinja]

I didn't want kids for a while b/c I was happy having a social life and doing what I wanted to do. However, now that I'm 32 and my kid is 1 1/2 years, I wish I would have had kids earlier though. Much more energy when in your 20s, plus I wouldn't be so old when my kid graduates or when I'm a grandparent. - Can't go back now though, so oh well.

But anyway, no you aren't the only person, but quite often people will change their mind later. Also, I think it's fine when people don't have kids. We have enough people on this planet anyway, and if you don't want to fully invest in a kid's life you shouldn't have them.

 

[destrekor]

do people really have kids to "carry on the name"?

*shudder*

It's far from being the only or primary reason I want kids someday, but... it's definitely a reason.
But when you have a name that, while relatively common, has it's history rooted in the rebellious overthrow of British Rule here in the USA and known as a Founding Father, damn straight it has come to mind a few times. Not just because of the name, but because of a real blood lineage to that family.

However, it's also I think there is a good chance to produce children with good genetics. My sister sure got them, I got some of them.

Also, however one wants to label it, not only is the desire to have kids an instinctual drive, in humans, it's a tribal drive. It's the goal to increase the large family size, to produce children to carry the family into the next generation. Also, to protect the family, continue the family ways, and ease the burden of the family as the elders age.
Modern days, that simply gets summed up in the family name. The social instinct still exists, we just qualify/quantify it differently.

One of my desires is rather linked to that, but quite distinct on its own. See, if I have children, I might get one that thinks quite a bit like myself. It'd be hell raising such a child properly, keeping him/her on the right track in life... but it'd be rewarding. My style of thinking isn't all that are in my family, and I also enjoy a nice mix of thought-processes from both sides.

That way, if I, or our generation, fails in shaping up this mess of a civilization, I can die knowing there's a chance my offspring and their social circles may pick up where we left off.

You need to have intuition, and embrace and control the animal instincts... if you are to understand humans. And to understand humans is necessary to push our species of idiots in the right direction.

 

[bobdole369]

I'd like to join with Elaine, and her vasectomy-getting man friend. I also throw my hat into the "I choose not to reproduce!" ring.

Wife basically agrees. One day that might change, thus I pull out. We aren't so far gone as to want surgery. She happens to be on the au natural train when it comes to medical treatments, so no pills for that. It's her body and our choice. Yes I know that leads to parenthood but its worked well enough so far. Something we ARE prepared to handle one day.

 

[MrMatt]

Um, you're not supposed to do sleep training with newborns. I had mine sleeping through the nightat 6 months.

I'm saying it's possible, not that you should. Personally I'd wait until they were a few weeks old, and then that's that.

 

[JS80]

I'm saying it's possible, not that you should. Personally I'd wait until they were a few weeks old, and then that's that.

few weeks old is still newborn man. they need milk and shit every other hour lol.

 

[RoloMather]

So does the OP win the Darwin award on technicality?

 

[Howard]

Unless you got snipped or give up sex, she is the one that decides if you 2 have kids.

Not even. He has no choice - she can leave him and steal his money, too.

 

[Jeff7]

do people really have kids to "carry on the name"?

*shudder*

Yeah, I'd rather not feel like I'm trying to breed myself out of the grave.

And concerning the family name itself, oh no! Some ancient notions of the importance of a family line are going to be dashed to bits!



I will consider having kids when they are able to be paused or timeshifted, DVR-style. Until then, no thank you.

 

[Mr. Lennon]

you can actually condition kids to stop crying within a month of being born. If you hear them screaming in the night, don't get up, no matter how bad it gets. Within 2 weeks the infant will stop crying at night.

DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS ADVICE

I can't believe people still suggest this. The psychological trauma this induces on the child is tremendous.

 

[DisgruntledVirus]

me and the gf had a talk about only having dogs

i almost cried in excitement.

When my gf told me she didn't want kids, and instead would rather travel and enjoy life sans kids I almost cried in excitement as well

 

[DisgruntledVirus]

Unless you got snipped or give up sex, she is the one that decides if you 2 have kids.

Which is why I got snipped.

I don't like giving up that control of a major part of my life. I don't want to end up having a kid with some crazy girl who wants them and is just using me to get knocked up (without my knowledge). Sure it is rare, but at least now I have control over that.

Helps that I do not want kids at all though

 

[chin311]

never want em!!! gf doesnt want them more then me so im set!!

 

[ixelion]

Wanting to have children is just animal instinct there is no rational purpose to it.

More importantly, instinct can compromise your well being and even cause death. This is why we exercise rational control over our impulses and desires.

The only difference is that having children isn't socially stigmatized, so every half wit moron is impregnating the closest thing with a vagina. Contrast to behavior like vengeance, which is socially stigmatized and is therefore suppressed from social consciousness.

IMHO since we screen people for firearms licenses, drivers licenses and liquor licenses, for generally similar reasons we should screen people for reproduction.

 

[Dorkenstein]

Tell me about it. I was reading a game site article once that had a blurb about a japanese game company incentivizing their employees having children. The author then said "if only we could pay Wal Mart employees to NOT have children."

Rough example, but yeah, people should ideally be screened. Never happen, however.

 

[ebaycj]

Just doesn't appeal to me. I always thought having kids would interfere with my life. I'd have to sacrifice too much of what I want to do in life. I have no interest in the waking up in the middle of the night stuff or driving them to the school. I know I'll be flamed because I don't fall in the sheep line mentality of keeping the name going or whatever.

Sounds like what you really need is some illegitimate children, in a couple random foreign countries.

 

[ebaycj]

been with my gf/finance for 7 years, i'm 30, she's 27. neither of us want kids nor have ever wanted them.

she wants to get a dog when she moves in later this year. i'm not too thrilled about that either.

Freudian slip ?

 

[NFS4]

I'm 30 and my wife is 26 (almost 27). We plan to start "trying" to have kids next fall. We have a dog, which we both adore, but having kids is something that we talked about when we first started dating.

I think it's natural to want to have kids; there's nothing wrong with it. And it's perfectly fine for people to want to keep to themselves, grow old together, and not have any children/grandchildren around "bothering them" in their old age.

That being said, I'm glad that my parents had me instead of going the DINK route.

 

[rh71]

I smile everytime I look at my kids... I'm 32 now and they are 1.5. Actually they're right outside my door running around with their toys - it is pretty joyful seeing them have fun. I was indifferent before I had them... they are definitely a new chapter in your life... being single/coupled for 75 years without much change is dull to me. With that said, I sometimes miss my personal time, but I still get them in spurts... plus I have it when they are in bed at 9. That's all I really need, it turns out.

I've said this before... when I had a dog (it's actually my parents' at my parents house), I cared for it a lot for 8 years until I moved out. Now with kids, the thought of having and caring for dogs (including him) takes a back seat... I didn't want to feel that way but I do... there's just no comparing.

 

[DisgruntledVirus]

Wanting to have children is just animal instinct there is no rational purpose to it.

More importantly, instinct can compromise your well being and even cause death. This is why we exercise rational control over our impulses and desires.

The only difference is that having children isn't socially stigmatized, so every half wit moron is impregnating the closest thing with a vagina. Contrast to behavior like vengeance, which is socially stigmatized and is therefore suppressed from social consciousness.

IMHO since we screen people for firearms licenses, drivers licenses and liquor licenses, for generally similar reasons we should screen people for reproduction.

Tell me about it. I was reading a game site article once that had a blurb about a japanese game company incentivizing their employees having children. The author then said "if only we could pay Wal Mart employees to NOT have children."

Rough example, but yeah, people should ideally be screened. Never happen, however.

Aside from the moral/ethical issues that would present, do you know how genetics work? Random mutations and genetic diversity are generally good for a species in the long term.