pillage2001
Lifer
- Sep 18, 2000
- 14,038
- 1
- 81
My parents could care less what I do... (19 asian) but my younger sister (18) on the other hand is always bugged by my parents on who,where,what,when etc questions everyday. I come home the next morning they would'nt even know I was out but if its pass 8-9PM and my sister isnt home, they will call her cell and a zillion questions ensue..
/me strugs
/me strugs
I could write a book on this. My wife's parents are completely overbearing. Not only do they tell my wife what to do (she is 28), but they try to pull the crap with me. It never works on me but my wife falls for the guilt trips more often than not. Finally things are getting better. But damn yeah I know how you feel with Asian parents. Some of them are pretty lenient. But some of them think you are a piece of property and try to treat you like a slaveling.
My parents are Asian, and they've never said i could or couldn't go out. I was never in my life grounded or had any sort of punishment of that sort. Really, what could they do if you leave the house? Not let you come back in? How old are you that you need to ask your parents permission to go out?
so lemme get this straight...you get into trouble for something 'semi-big', for which you aren't willing to reveal the details, so i'm assuming it must be major. and now you're questioning your mom's parenting?
can i ask how old you are? if you're still in your teens, you should know by now that this is how things work. you screw up = takes some time for trust to be regained. this is hardly something to get worked up about.
can i ask how old you are? if you're still in your teens, you should know by now that this is how things work. you screw up = takes some time for trust to be regained. this is hardly something to get worked up about.
Well, I've always done what I wanted... but that doesn't mean that I didn't know what my parents thought. They get the same way, but I just do it anyway. it turned out ok....
Probably won't work for most though.
Probably won't work for most though.
Oh, sorry. Did I offend you so greatly by what was meant to be a simple compliment?
Anyways, parents happen. I was saying you're cute... physically. Yup.
LunarRay
Diamond Member
- Mar 2, 2003
- 9,993
- 1
- 76
Ms Sunshine,
You need to talk... really sit down and talk to your mom and or dad. Get to understand why she feels, acts, etc. and let her understand you. All truth no defense just plain truth. What ever your issue was may need further discussion, maybe not. But, the continuing issue with "consequence" seems to have your life in turmoil. Ask your parents how to deal with your peers. If you take issue with the consequence then openly and with out an agenda discuss it. People often become defensive during these times but, it can't hurt to try. It is the job of parents to help their kids figure out the whys and wherefors not solely dispense punishment. I as a father and grandfather 3 grandkids living with me for past 5 yrs and 1 a 17 year old girl never needed to make life miserable for any of them by some punishment although that may at times get a point across... I chose to talk understand and advise. It was their life to live and I felt if they understood all I could arm them with they would be in good stead. It is very difficult for my daughter to talk to her mom because it often results in an argument. Same with my gdaughter. But, they talk to me for hours on issues and this, I feel, is what is important. Talk, understand, listen, and try hard to not become defensive of your position. Try to know how you feel on all sorts of issues confronting you and use words like I feel not you make me feel. (immediate cause for defense) I statements lessen the stress. I think.
Good luck to you.
You need to talk... really sit down and talk to your mom and or dad. Get to understand why she feels, acts, etc. and let her understand you. All truth no defense just plain truth. What ever your issue was may need further discussion, maybe not. But, the continuing issue with "consequence" seems to have your life in turmoil. Ask your parents how to deal with your peers. If you take issue with the consequence then openly and with out an agenda discuss it. People often become defensive during these times but, it can't hurt to try. It is the job of parents to help their kids figure out the whys and wherefors not solely dispense punishment. I as a father and grandfather 3 grandkids living with me for past 5 yrs and 1 a 17 year old girl never needed to make life miserable for any of them by some punishment although that may at times get a point across... I chose to talk understand and advise. It was their life to live and I felt if they understood all I could arm them with they would be in good stead. It is very difficult for my daughter to talk to her mom because it often results in an argument. Same with my gdaughter. But, they talk to me for hours on issues and this, I feel, is what is important. Talk, understand, listen, and try hard to not become defensive of your position. Try to know how you feel on all sorts of issues confronting you and use words like I feel not you make me feel. (immediate cause for defense) I statements lessen the stress. I think.
Good luck to you.
Originally posted by: caramel
after getting through her lengthy post, i didn't bother to read any of the replies.
I'm not questioning her parenting...just saying that it's bad that my friends dno't understand...b/c they've never experienced it.
And if you think my post is too lengthy...it really makes me wonder how you'd be able to get through a long novel. My post too lengthy? hah....what a joke.
leave...
if your in college can't you find jobs by your college and stay there?...
after leaving for college I never went home for a full summer...i always found jobs and sublets...
i didnt do it to get away from my parents, but there were better jobs there then where i lived
if your in college can't you find jobs by your college and stay there?...
after leaving for college I never went home for a full summer...i always found jobs and sublets...
i didnt do it to get away from my parents, but there were better jobs there then where i lived
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