- Dec 12, 2000
- 25,241
- 9,702
- 136
OMG, it was so bad nobody in our theater knew when the movie started. I think maybe the projectionist fvcked up, because after the last preview there was no logos or anything, it just started with 'Transylvania 18xx' in black and white. The acting in this first segment was SO BAD we were all convinced it was a Coke or M&Ms commercial...we were all waiting for the punchline!!! Not a good way to start a movie...
What was the basis for this movie anyway? AFAIK, Van Helsing was the old Dutch doctor in Bram Stoker's 'Dracula'...and he didn't have superhero weapons nor any connections with the Vatican. I wouldn't have cared so much about this if the movie didn't suck. Characters were underdeveloped and the storyline didn't make any sense once we all found out Dracula's "secret" (I think the 'Addams Family' had a more sensible Dracula and Frankenstein story.) Not only that, but this whole thing about Van Helsing's mysterious past (which I assumed would be explained at the end) was never resolved...AND ITS A RIP ON JACKMAN'S 'WOLVERINE' CHARACTER!!! :| If he's mortal, than how did he fight against the Romans hundreds of years ago?
Okay so plot, characters, acting all sucked. So the movie had to be saved by the action, right? Wrong. Sure there was plenty of action, if you like 100% cartoonish CGI battles. Not only was there gratuitous CGI, but it was sucky. Who the hell moves their arms like that when they are fighting? Why do the CGI creatures keep changing scale/size relative to the rest of the environment (not talking about transformations either, it was just that bad if you noticed.) Also, the pacing of the action sucked. During the first 30 minutes there was enough action for an entire action movie, and then it was replaced by horrible dialog, horrible acting for what seemed like an hour.
I just realized now that I've ranted for 3 long paragraphs and this post will require Cliff's notes, so I'll stop here (its the damned liberal arts wannabe in me.)
Cliff's Notes:
- This movie sucks
- If you like bad CGI, go see 'Spawn' or 'The Hulk'...they are better movies...seriously!
- If you think you must see this because you're a Jackman fan, just go watch 'X2' again. Its the exact same character, some guy who likes to fight evil with a mysterious past that he can't remember, but he has nightmares and flashbacks about it.
What was the basis for this movie anyway? AFAIK, Van Helsing was the old Dutch doctor in Bram Stoker's 'Dracula'...and he didn't have superhero weapons nor any connections with the Vatican. I wouldn't have cared so much about this if the movie didn't suck. Characters were underdeveloped and the storyline didn't make any sense once we all found out Dracula's "secret" (I think the 'Addams Family' had a more sensible Dracula and Frankenstein story.) Not only that, but this whole thing about Van Helsing's mysterious past (which I assumed would be explained at the end) was never resolved...AND ITS A RIP ON JACKMAN'S 'WOLVERINE' CHARACTER!!! :| If he's mortal, than how did he fight against the Romans hundreds of years ago?
Okay so plot, characters, acting all sucked. So the movie had to be saved by the action, right? Wrong. Sure there was plenty of action, if you like 100% cartoonish CGI battles. Not only was there gratuitous CGI, but it was sucky. Who the hell moves their arms like that when they are fighting? Why do the CGI creatures keep changing scale/size relative to the rest of the environment (not talking about transformations either, it was just that bad if you noticed.) Also, the pacing of the action sucked. During the first 30 minutes there was enough action for an entire action movie, and then it was replaced by horrible dialog, horrible acting for what seemed like an hour.
I just realized now that I've ranted for 3 long paragraphs and this post will require Cliff's notes, so I'll stop here (its the damned liberal arts wannabe in me.)
Cliff's Notes:
- This movie sucks
- If you like bad CGI, go see 'Spawn' or 'The Hulk'...they are better movies...seriously!
- If you think you must see this because you're a Jackman fan, just go watch 'X2' again. Its the exact same character, some guy who likes to fight evil with a mysterious past that he can't remember, but he has nightmares and flashbacks about it.
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