Fiancee owns her own house. Good structual condition but needed a new roof and could use interior renovations.
I don't own a house. I've been a life-long renter.
She's been renting her house out and, since we're now engaged and getting hitched, thought it would be a good idea to move into her place.
Fiancee wanted to replace the roof, which is needed. Wanted me to split the cost with her. I balked as it is not my place. I explained to her why I feel it's not a good idea for someone to sink money into something that they do not have a stake in. Ie, if I dropped $$$ into the house, and she kicked me out, I wouldn't have any recourse in getting my money back. Why? It's her house.
She sees it as a lack of faith in our relationship. I see it as financial common sense.
She has since decided to renovate the entire house. All at once. She has hired people to do it, everything from new cabinets, flooring, painting, and a new bathroom. She's upset with me because I'm not paying for anything. Her parents asked her if I don't have any money and why she's the only one paying for the renovations. She didn't bother to explain my view and didn't ask her parents to talk to me.
If I had my choice we would have renovated the place piece-by-piece, as we can afford it and do most of the work ourselves. It's not that she has a bunch of money, she had about $100k in equity that she cashed out to reallocate some debt (student loans) and pay for the renovations, which turned from just the roof to a whole new house. I'm more than willing to help her pay for the renovations, as she's paying them off (again, she didn't drop unattached cash down, she's using her equity cash-out to pay for this...meaning she has to pay it back, obviously). I see it as, if I drop 5-10k at once, and things don't work out, I'm immediately out that money. If I'm helping her pay her monthly payment for the renovations and things don't work out, them I'm only out the monthly payments.
What do you guys/gals think? I'm not trying to be cheap, just simply trying to be smart financially. I saw my brother drop 5k for a down payment for his girlfriend's condo and when they broke up, he was out and never saw his money again.
I don't own a house. I've been a life-long renter.
She's been renting her house out and, since we're now engaged and getting hitched, thought it would be a good idea to move into her place.
Fiancee wanted to replace the roof, which is needed. Wanted me to split the cost with her. I balked as it is not my place. I explained to her why I feel it's not a good idea for someone to sink money into something that they do not have a stake in. Ie, if I dropped $$$ into the house, and she kicked me out, I wouldn't have any recourse in getting my money back. Why? It's her house.
She sees it as a lack of faith in our relationship. I see it as financial common sense.
She has since decided to renovate the entire house. All at once. She has hired people to do it, everything from new cabinets, flooring, painting, and a new bathroom. She's upset with me because I'm not paying for anything. Her parents asked her if I don't have any money and why she's the only one paying for the renovations. She didn't bother to explain my view and didn't ask her parents to talk to me.
If I had my choice we would have renovated the place piece-by-piece, as we can afford it and do most of the work ourselves. It's not that she has a bunch of money, she had about $100k in equity that she cashed out to reallocate some debt (student loans) and pay for the renovations, which turned from just the roof to a whole new house. I'm more than willing to help her pay for the renovations, as she's paying them off (again, she didn't drop unattached cash down, she's using her equity cash-out to pay for this...meaning she has to pay it back, obviously). I see it as, if I drop 5-10k at once, and things don't work out, I'm immediately out that money. If I'm helping her pay her monthly payment for the renovations and things don't work out, them I'm only out the monthly payments.
What do you guys/gals think? I'm not trying to be cheap, just simply trying to be smart financially. I saw my brother drop 5k for a down payment for his girlfriend's condo and when they broke up, he was out and never saw his money again.
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