Am I being unreasonable?

Page 2 - Seeking answers? Join the AnandTech community: where nearly half-a-million members share solutions and discuss the latest tech.

Ruptga

Lifer
Aug 3, 2006
10,246
207
106
I'd have been up front about splitting gas money from the get-go. Not doing so set you up for this argument. At this point, he feels like you're rewriting the rules and you feel like he's being a twat for pinching twenty bucks per week, which are both perfectly natural responses. I tend to think your response is more reasonable, but his is still natural.
 

Smoblikat

Diamond Member
Nov 19, 2011
5,184
107
106
See previous post. Forget this guy man. Dick all the way around.

I will definitely have to say what he says when he calls.

I'd have been up front about splitting gas money from the get-go. Not doing so set you up for this argument. At this point, he feels like you're rewriting the rules and you feel like he's being a twat for pinching twenty bucks per week, which are both perfectly natural responses. I tend to think your response is more reasonable, but his is still natural.

Absolutely agreed, I do understand where he is coming from. He had a sweet thing going and now im changing it up, but its not like it was explicitly stated that I wiould drive him in for free. I had less expenses back then and an "Im going this way anyway" attitude, but I have recently had to spend more money and I could use some cash.
 
Last edited:

jlee

Lifer
Sep 12, 2001
48,518
223
106
Um, why not suggest you alternate who drives? He has his own vehicle, get him to drive every other day. Then he will also see how much the fuel costs.

This.

Some people aren't worth staying friends with. Just from skimming the thread, I suspect that may be the case.
 

Number1

Diamond Member
Feb 24, 2006
7,881
549
126
How about you use your car one week and he uses his car the other week. Problem solved, no argument about money.
If he doesn't like this deal, let him drive himself to work.
 

Smoblikat

Diamond Member
Nov 19, 2011
5,184
107
106
How about you use your car one week and he uses his car the other week. Problem solved, no argument about money.
If he doesn't like this deal, let him drive himself to work.

Im not sure if this is a cop-out or not....but heer it goes:

I want to drive my car to work. I am barely legally able to drive due to poor vision, and I can really only drive on roads im familiar with. I know the route to work VERY well, and its one of the few stress free drives I can take in my car. Otherwise I only drive around locally before 8AM (before construction starts, I have a hard time seeing what flag the flag wavers are holding) or after 5:00 (which is usually too dark for me to drive in, I cant drive at night). So I really enjoy the opportunity to take my car on a drive im comfortable with, otherwise I have to wear glasses that weigh like a pound and it sucks to see through them because I have the view distance of a dime (they are called bioptic lenses).
 

Ns1

No Lifer
Jun 17, 2001
55,420
1,600
126
Im not sure if this is a cop-out or not....but heer it goes:

I want to drive my car to work. I am barely legally able to drive due to poor vision, and I can really only drive on roads im familiar with. I know the route to work VERY well, and its one of the few stress free drives I can take in my car. Otherwise I only drive around locally before 8AM (before construction starts, I have a hard time seeing what flag the flag wavers are holding) or after 5:00 (which is usually too dark for me to drive in, I cant drive at night). So I really enjoy the opportunity to take my car on a drive im comfortable with, otherwise I have to wear glasses that weigh like a pound and it sucks to see through them because I have the view distance of a dime (they are called bioptic lenses).


this is like the most un-safe thing I've read all day.
 

Smoblikat

Diamond Member
Nov 19, 2011
5,184
107
106
this is like the most un-safe thing I've read all day.

I have my glasses with me at all times, and my vision is perfectly fine for daytime driving. I can see people and cars and things just fine, even road signs and lights. I just have a hard time picking out what symbol the flag wavers are holding due to both sides of the sign being orange. My bioptic lenses are only for night time driving, but I cant see shit at night so I dont drive at night.
 

BoomerD

No Lifer
Feb 26, 2006
66,307
14,717
146
And that's why, even if I drive by your house every day on my way to the place where we both work...I WILL NOT carpool...plus, (I don't know if it's been covered yet) if one party ends up having to work overtime, either the driver has to wait for the passenger, or the passenger has to wait for the driver...waiting time usually un-paid, unless the company is willing to let the other person work OT as well. (obviously doesn't apply to salary exempt people)
 

Remobz

Platinum Member
Jun 9, 2005
2,564
37
91
I will definitely have to say what he says when he calls.



Absolutely agreed, I do understand where he is coming from. He had a sweet thing going and now im changing it up, but its not like it was explicitly stated that I wiould drive him in for free. I had less expenses back then and an "Im going this way anyway" attitude, but I have recently had to spend more money and I could use some cash.

I had friends leech on me before. Friends come and go in people's lives and sometimes its best to move on.

Ask yourself this, does this guy really bring anything to the plate that you value a lot in a friend to keep him around? Are you willing to sacrifice other things to keep him around?
 

Smoblikat

Diamond Member
Nov 19, 2011
5,184
107
106
And that's why, even if I drive by your house every day on my way to the place where we both work...I WILL NOT carpool...plus, (I don't know if it's been covered yet) if one party ends up having to work overtime, either the driver has to wait for the passenger, or the passenger has to wait for the driver...waiting time usually un-paid, unless the company is willing to let the other person work OT as well. (obviously doesn't apply to salary exempt people)

Do I know you?

Also, we both work the same schedule, and neither of us will ever get OT.
 

GagHalfrunt

Lifer
Apr 19, 2001
25,284
1,998
126
If you're telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth without skewing the story in your favor, the only thing you did that was unreasonable was carrying this deadbeat as long as you did. Cut him loose and don't look back, you don't need "friends" like that.
 

BUTCH1

Lifer
Jul 15, 2000
20,433
1,769
126
I think your "friend" is an asshole, you basically saved his ass from living in his truck, found him a job and he reacts like that for a measly $20?, screw him, you don't need "friends" like that.
 

Smoblikat

Diamond Member
Nov 19, 2011
5,184
107
106
If you're telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth without skewing the story in your favor, the only thing you did that was unreasonable was carrying this deadbeat as long as you did. Cut him loose and don't look back, you don't need "friends" like that.

I am telling the truth and nothing but it, I have nothing to gain by lying on the internet to make myself feel better. I would love to stay friends with him, but not if he plans on treating me like this.
 

Remobz

Platinum Member
Jun 9, 2005
2,564
37
91
I am telling the truth and nothing but it, I have nothing to gain by lying on the internet to make myself feel better. I would love to stay friends with him, but not if he plans on treating me like this.

Get rid of him then:)
 

MrDudeMan

Lifer
Jan 15, 2001
15,069
94
91
I am telling the truth and nothing but it, I have nothing to gain by lying on the internet to make myself feel better. I would love to stay friends with him, but not if he plans on treating me like this.

Not to trample on your feelings, but this won't matter even a tiny, tiny bit in 5 years or less. Knowing him for a decade really doesn't count considering you're 20. It just doesn't. I have friends from that long ago, so I get why you think that, but the person has to not be an asshole for the duration of the friendship to start being a significant factor. He's clearly an asshole, thus rendering the point moot.
 

Smoblikat

Diamond Member
Nov 19, 2011
5,184
107
106
Not to trample on your feelings, but this won't matter even a tiny, tiny bit in 5 years or less. Knowing him for a decade really doesn't count considering you're 20. It just doesn't. I have friends from that long ago, so I get why you think that, but the person has to not be an asshole for the duration of the friendship to start being a significant factor. He's clearly an asshole, thus rendering the point moot.

That makes sense, he still hasnt called me back. I think ill let things settle for tonight and try to ring him tomorrow. If he doesnt answer/is a dick then I guess thats the end.

Thanks everyone.
 

MrDudeMan

Lifer
Jan 15, 2001
15,069
94
91
That makes sense, he still hasnt called me back. I think ill let things settle for tonight and try to ring him tomorrow. If he doesnt answer/is a dick then I guess thats the end.

Thanks everyone.

Some people will say you shouldn't throw a friendship away over such a trivial thing, but I say if it's really that fragile then it never mattered anyway.
 

Number1

Diamond Member
Feb 24, 2006
7,881
549
126
Im not sure if this is a cop-out or not....but heer it goes:

I want to drive my car to work. I am barely legally able to drive due to poor vision, and I can really only drive on roads im familiar with. I know the route to work VERY well, and its one of the few stress free drives I can take in my car. Otherwise I only drive around locally before 8AM (before construction starts, I have a hard time seeing what flag the flag wavers are holding) or after 5:00 (which is usually too dark for me to drive in, I cant drive at night). So I really enjoy the opportunity to take my car on a drive im comfortable with, otherwise I have to wear glasses that weigh like a pound and it sucks to see through them because I have the view distance of a dime (they are called bioptic lenses).

Well then stop complaining and keep picking up your friend for free if you want to keep him as a "friend".
 

TwiceOver

Lifer
Dec 20, 2002
13,544
44
91
Just reading the posts, I think you are asking too much. A *normal* car could do that trip on $20 per week. You're already making the trip so you're asking him to foot the entire bill for something you would normally do anyway. It isn't his fault that you like to drive a car that gets ridiculously bad gas mileage. And what sounds like possibly unsafe.
 

jlee

Lifer
Sep 12, 2001
48,518
223
106
Just reading the posts, I think you are asking too much. A *normal* car could do that trip on $20 per week. You're already making the trip so you're asking him to foot the entire bill for something you would normally do anyway. It isn't his fault that you like to drive a car that gets ridiculously bad gas mileage. And what sounds like possibly unsafe.

How is that the OP's problem? If he wants to pay $20 (or $15, as indicated earlier), maybe he should go buy a car that can do that trip for $15-20 a week.
 

olds

Elite Member
Mar 3, 2000
50,124
779
126
OK, ill call him right now.

EDIT - I called and he answered, I told him I thought he was greedy and he said he would call me back later.
What the fuck? Are you female or just a drama queen?
Either he pays and rides or he finds other transportation. No need to make an issue out of it. You've learned what kind of person he is. Get on with life and don't be a bitch.
 

TwiceOver

Lifer
Dec 20, 2002
13,544
44
91
How is that the OP's problem? If he wants to pay $20 (or $15, as indicated earlier), maybe he should go buy a car that can do that trip for $15-20 a week.

It sounds like the guy has his own car the OP just refuses to alternate rides because he likes driving too much, which in turn is his problem.