Let her stay, but still have the party. She isn't the only one that pays rent, correct? So you live with 3 other people, and everyone pays their equal share?
Well if her mom doesn't like the party, she can come back when it's done, or even just stay and have fun.
Personally it's a lose-lose situation. This whole situation could have been avoided had your friend told everyone that his gfs family was coming down.
Well if her mom doesn't like the party, she can come back when it's done, or even just stay and have fun.
Personally it's a lose-lose situation. This whole situation could have been avoided had your friend told everyone that his gfs family was coming down.
you did fine.
You planned party in advance, they didnt tell you about parent visiting even though they knew far in advance. Your party comes first, since it was planned first based on your knowledge.
Now if the mother for some unknown reason pays your rent, then of course things change and she takes priority over the party.
You planned party in advance, they didnt tell you about parent visiting even though they knew far in advance. Your party comes first, since it was planned first based on your knowledge.
Now if the mother for some unknown reason pays your rent, then of course things change and she takes priority over the party.
I guess I should clarify myself just a little bit.
Why the mom would want to stay at their place is beyond me. However, if indeed that's what she really wanted to do, I think it would have been a really good gesture on the part of the other roommates (Broe, Ghetto and BF) to allow her to do so. I agree that it would have been an inconvinience (sp?) for a day or two but as I said earlier, it would have been a sign of respect for the parent, and that undoubtedly would have gone a long way (especially for the BF if he was planning on getting serious with this girl).
Why the mom would want to stay at their place is beyond me. However, if indeed that's what she really wanted to do, I think it would have been a really good gesture on the part of the other roommates (Broe, Ghetto and BF) to allow her to do so. I agree that it would have been an inconvinience (sp?) for a day or two but as I said earlier, it would have been a sign of respect for the parent, and that undoubtedly would have gone a long way (especially for the BF if he was planning on getting serious with this girl).
The party was planned before BroeBo ever knew about the mom coming to stay. Its the boyfriends fault for not telling him to begin with. Whether A) the party should be cancelled or B) the mom should stay at a hotel is an issue they should have talked about. I don't think it was wrong to ask the mom at all. What kind of mother stays in an apartment with a bunch of guys anyway? The mother pays the rent for her daughter to live there, not herself. Plus she's not the only one paying rent.
If the boyfriend had given advanced notice there probably would've been no party and no problem, he's an idiot for springing that last moment. He should be expected to fix things on his end, he should not be inconveniencing people because of his poor planning.
If the boyfriend had given advanced notice there probably would've been no party and no problem, he's an idiot for springing that last moment. He should be expected to fix things on his end, he should not be inconveniencing people because of his poor planning.
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good points to both hypn0tik and siva. i think the best thing would have been for the mother to stay one night in a hotel, then the rest in our apt. i just really felt it was an intrusion for them to just up and say she's staying. then have everything become tense becasue they took the extream end and canceled so many things....which is why i feel there is some external variable that myself and BroeBo dont know about.
How about respect for one's roommates by giving more than a few days notice as to when visitors are coming. Especially about the time when the roommates are planning a party. I don't think respect for the mom is even the issue, it is how poorly either the BF, the GF, or the mother planned things.
And it is kind of creepy that she wants to stay there anyway. There are two guys who afaik are strangers to her living there.
Respect should be equal among the renters of the place. They all pay rent (I'm assuming equal rent at that).
What my hunch is, and maybe Broe or Ghetto can let us know....is that this mom is a busybody controlling type and got her panties in a wad when she couldn't be the Den Mother for a few days.
If the renters collectively decided they were ok with the Mom staying there during her visit, then the solution I would've proposed is that they explain to her that there would be a party, what would most likely take place at the party, and offer to take a collection maybe for a hotel room for that night to make her more comfortable.
My .02
What my hunch is, and maybe Broe or Ghetto can let us know....is that this mom is a busybody controlling type and got her panties in a wad when she couldn't be the Den Mother for a few days.
If the renters collectively decided they were ok with the Mom staying there during her visit, then the solution I would've proposed is that they explain to her that there would be a party, what would most likely take place at the party, and offer to take a collection maybe for a hotel room for that night to make her more comfortable.
My .02
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yeah, one of the big things was that the BF new about hte gf and gf's mom's visit for about 2+ weeks, but never told us....i still think she could of stayed in a hotel for one night, then at our place for the rest, its just the bf must of relayed something in such a way as to make her feel unwanted. i really wish i had that end of the story.
Probably to check up on her "investment" of paying the rent. This is especially true because of this line "oh yeah, gf's mom also threatened to cancel paying her rent...." Unfortunately paying 1/4 of the rent does not entitle someone to come and go as they please.
Wrong. It would have been a good gesture to be informed of the mother's arrival more than 24 hours before she was going to show up.
The parents only belongs to one of the people in the rental. You are confusing "respect" with "let the mother show up with almost no warning and force 3 people to cancel their plans and inconvenience them." When you are living with 4 people in one place, family does NOT get an automatic override.
Right, except in the process of that, you screw over other people in the apartment, AND all of the people going to the party.
Sorry, but this is 100% the fault of the person who did not mention the mother was coming up. If one of my roommates in college ever did something like this, I would tell them hell no because of the short warning. I would have wanted the old lady to go stay in a hotel as well, or not show up at all.
Is it the fault of the other roommate for not notifying them about the mother's plans earlier if he had known all along? Yes.
Is it the fault of the mother that the other roommate didn't notify them? No.
Regardless, I don't think higher priority should be placed on a party when compared to a visit from a parent. Edit: The majority of you seem to disagree with me. I guess that's just how I was brought up.
I agree with you on the part in bold.
nakedfrog
No Lifer
- Apr 3, 2001
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And I think you're missing an important point here--neither of them ever seems to have said she couldn't stay there, but were questioning why she had to?
I think the GF/mom cancelling the tickets and all is a childish over-reaction, but not really unexpected considering.
squirrel dog
Diamond Member
- Oct 10, 1999
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GhettoPeanut wasn't an a$$ roommate, just one who should now know that, even when you have the best of intentions, situations like this can come back to bite you in the butt. I'll bet that next time he zips his lip and lets them solve their own problems. After all, it wasn't his party and it wasn't his girlfriend and it wasn't his girlfriend's mother and look what happened when he chimed in!
Your roomate not rescheduling with his parents is a dick, but your spelling is so awful that you automatically loose
- Feb 9, 2005
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lol, yeah. i guess curiosity killed the cat....remember kids never ask "WHY" you'll get a whole mess of drama...
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This is stupid. It is not like he told the mother to go jump off a bridge and die. Suggesting a hotel (which is normal for parent visit situations) is 100% acceptable in this situation. If the mother was not such a childish bitch, she should have gone to the hotel with no argument.
So was I. In this case, would it have hurt for them to first give a little respect first and then expect some back?
I completely understand what all of you are saying. It seems as if the mother was invading their privacy, which is a definite no-no. However, seeing as how all those plans got cancelled, I wonder how the GF will react when she gets back. It definitely won't be pretty and they may have to put up with it for a while.
Ultimately, I think it's the BF's fault. First for not notifying his roommates earlier and second for miscommunicating with his GF and/or the mother.
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