All Canadian ATOT members, report to this thread immediately

[schneiderguy]

I need help in smuggling a baby moose to the US because I want a pet moose. PM me if you can help. Thanks.

 

[janas19]

I need help in smuggling a baby moose to the US because I want a pet moose. PM me if you can help. Thanks.

Wth. Seriously?

 

[zinfamous]

Schneiderguy wants to open a moose milk farm. He confided this to me.

No no...I know what you're thinking; but it's not because of the relative health benefits gained from moose milk--especially for infants and the elderly--it's b/c schneiderguy wants to spend the rest of his days groping moose nipples.

 

[halik]

Uh oh, time to open the box of faith?

 

[SSSnail]

How about I smuggle an occupier from SF to you instead? Not sure if you can milk any of them for anything though. D:

 

[Newbian]

You still have to pay it:

 

[schneiderguy]

Wth. Seriously?

Yes seriously.

Schneiderguy wants to open a moose milk farm. He confided this to me.

No no...I know what you're thinking; but it's not because of the relative health benefits gained from moose milk--especially for infants and the elderly--it's b/c schneiderguy wants to spend the rest of his days groping moose nipples.

Dammit Zinfamous, now everyone here will think I'm weird

 

[zanejohnson]

I suggest u watch every. Episode. Of trailer park boys

 

[sandorski]

Just dress it up as a woman, tell the US Customs agent you're going to Walmart, they can't tell the difference.

<<<Moose Smuggler

 

[SSSnail]

Thinking about this a bit more, I think schneiderguy is confused on what "moose knuckle" really is... Psst, it doesn't have anything to do with an actual moose. Though, their might be lots of "moose knuckles" in Canuckistan.

 

[BoomerD]

What the fuck?

A domestic moose isn't good enough for you? You have to get an imported moose?

Fucking moose snob.

 

[PliotronX]

I'm not Canadian.

 

[LiuKangBakinPie]

Have you tried alaska?

 

[schneiderguy]

Have you tried alaska?

Nope, I need a Canadian moose.

 

[LiuKangBakinPie]

Nope, I need a Canadian moose.

Just put a sticker on the leg that kicks the hardest. Canadian Moose

 

[silverpig]

Just put it in a condom and swallow it.

 

[shortylickens]

I'm half Canadian, does that help?

 

[J-Money]

The Osoyoos / Oroville border might be your best bet. Usually no line at the border. Seriously you'll be the only vehicle. If you have a large SUV (to hide the moose) and don't look suspcious you won't be searched.

I do this border crossing probably 4 times a year to buy Cherry and Vanilla Coke (not sold in Canada!) and they almost NEVER search your vehicle. If they do and find the moose, just say it must have jumped in at some point or something. Just say you are up visiting family in Penticton when they ask why you up.

Honestly the toughest part will be capturing a baby moose.

 

[janas19]

Just how in the hell do you plan on getting a baby moose? Mooses are not like rabbits or buffalo, they don't have large litters and they are solitary. That means one mother will have one baby at a time. The only way you could possibly do this is if you find a moose breeder, and good luck with that.

 

[3chordcharlie]

Just how in the hell do you plan on getting a baby moose? Mooses are not like rabbits or buffalo, they don't have large litters and they are solitary. That means one mother will have one baby at a time. The only way you could possibly do this is if you find a moose breeder, and good luck with that.

We... err I mean 'they' aren't allowed to talk about being moose breeders.

It's against our their code...

 

[JTsyo]

Just how in the hell do you plan on getting a baby moose? Mooses are not like rabbits or buffalo, they don't have large litters and they are solitary. That means one mother will have one baby at a time. The only way you could possibly do this is if you find a moose breeder, and good luck with that.

1) distract the mother with a salt lick.
2) lure the baby to your van with candy.
3) drive back to the US
4) ???
5) Profit!! (in this case, it's milk)

Now that I think about it, the baby moose won't make milk unit it has a child of it's own. you are better of grabbing the mother.

 

[Capt Caveman]

Plenty of moose in Maine.

 

[coldmeat]

I can't help you, sorry. I currently have no mooses to spare.

 

[Soccerman06]

Make sure you get a female baby moose, would be funny if you got a male moose and tri... yeah

 

[zinfamous]

Make sure you get a female baby moose, would be funny if you got a male moose and tri... yeah