Alcoholic family member

[Modelworks]

My brother has been a long time alcoholic.
Then about two years ago he stopped drinking, opened his own business and got his life in order.
Over the past two years he has put together a business where he is earning 10k a month, family life is good and everyone was generally happy.

Then two weeks ago his wife calls me asking if I had seen my brother.
She said the business was unlocked and no sign of him anywhere.
I got up with her and we found his truck about 10 miles from home at her sisters.
He wasn't there, she had taken him back to the business because he was too drunk to drive.
When we got there he was drunk, swearing at customers, laughing making crude jokes and just being an ass. I tried to talk to him and it was pointless. He was just too drunk to talk to.

So for the past week he has been drinking non stop. We hid his keys to all the cars so he couldn't drive. He drank 19 beers in under two hours and managed to find the keys to a work truck and drive anyway. He made it to town to buy more beer. Came back and drank all day yesterday and last night, wouldn't come home, then today drank all day again. He has gone through 72 beers in two days.

Noone can talk to him and his business is going to hell fast. He's now behind on his car, insurance and house payments. He has one minor daughter that still lives with him and she is at the point of crying becuase she can't make sense of whats happening. His wife isn't yelling at him, none of us are, we are just trying to understand why he is doing this.

to make it worse he has now started involving another of his daughters in his drinking binges, she has no license and is taking his work truck whenever she needs to , to make beer runs.

I don't know what to do . Please any suggestions would be appreciated.
I've tried talking to him , he just says its his money and he can drink all he wants and we can all go to hell if we don't like it.

We can't think of anything that has triggered this and were all just perplexed.
Were doing our best to manage him without getting physical, which he more than wants to do , he loves to fight when hes drunk. Hit his wife many times in the past.

I'm just lost, thanks for listening.

 

[TheNinja]

See if you can get him to go out in public and then get him arrested for public intox. At least they'll make him sleep it off in the drunk tank for at least a night or more.

 

[SmoochyTX]

As sad as the situation is, there's nothing you can do for him. I have a family member in the same situation right now and we had to just let him learn his own lesson.

Any way he will tell you what's going on and how he's feeling when he's drunk? Perhaps then you can at least figure out what triggered his relapse.

 

[Modelworks]

Originally posted by: SmoochyTX
As sad as the situation is, there's nothing you can do for him. I have a family member in the same situation right now and we had to just let him learn his own lesson.

Any way he will tell you what's going on and how he's feeling when he's drunk? Perhaps then you can at least figure out what triggered his relapse.

He says nothing is bothering him and that he just wants to drink.
He has never been the type of guy that would talk about whats bothering him.
When I try tot talk to him he just starts laughing and gets up grabs a beer or offers me one, I don't drink. Then he acts likes hes 16 again , he's 48, and turns up the radio or starts yelling and pushing people.

 

[Jadow]

He drank 19 beers in under two hours

He's not alcoholic, he's a Wisconsinite!

Seriously, I don't think there is a lot you can do. You can try talking to him, but ultimately, this is entirely on him, and he's the only one who can right himself.

Frankly, even though he's your brother, if he's hitting his wife, ruining her financial future by squandering his business, both of which really harm the kids too, I think you need to help the wife more than him, help her get a divorce.

 

[InFeXiOn]

Interventions work pretty well.

You don't have to go all crazy like they do on TV, but just get some family members together that are feeling the adverse effect of his drinking and have them open up to him. Surely it will be an emotional experience and it might open his eyes to what he's doing and whom he is harming.

 

[Mr Incognito]

Al anon is your best bet. Not much you can do for him but maybe you can save the family right now.

 

[SmoochyTX]

Why is the other daughter helping him? That just doesn't make sense unless she's an alcoholic herself.

In the meantime, you need to tell his wife to drain the money accounts -- personal and business. Take away his credit cards and disable the debit/ATM cards. If he wants money to drink then let him find the money to do so himself.

 

[compuwiz1]

What made him stop drinking for 2 years? Did it take treatment, or could he quit on his own?

 

[videogames101]

If he's willing, the AA program had worked for many people i know.

 

[Alistar7]

Too many beer runs, not only dangerous but also cuts down on drinking time. He needs to start having kegs delivered right to work.

 

[sygyzy]

What made him start drinking again? Find the stressor that caused it then you can start helping him.

 

[compuwiz1]

It's amazing, but practically every family has an alcoholic or two.

 

[potato28]

Originally posted by: TheNinja
See if you can get him to go out in public and then get him arrested for public intox. At least they'll make him sleep it off in the drunk tank for at least a night or more.

I'd say yes to this... but he would also get a charge for it. It doesn't look like he can afford that at this time... OP maybe go to all of the stores in town and give them a poster and tell them not to serve him?

 

[potato28]

Originally posted by: compuwiz1
It's amazing, but practically every family has an alcoholic or two.

It's true, some may know and try to control it though.

 

[Jhill]

Damn 10k a month? what does he do? It seems you would have to have your head in order to make that much and not drink at all.

 

[SociallyChallenged]

I say spike some of his beers with ipecac syrup. That'll either sober him up so you can talk to him in a couple of hours or, if you do it multiple times, he may develop a physiological gag reflex to the alcohol. This is, of course, if nothing else works since it's messy and dishonest.

 

[Mr Incognito]

Originally posted by: SociallyChallenged
I say spike some of his beers with ipecac syrup. That'll either sober him up so you can talk to him in a couple of hours or, if you do it multiple times, he may develop a physiological gag reflex to the alcohol. This is, of course, if nothing else works since it's messy and dishonest.

But in all fairness what he is doing to his family is messy and dishonest. My father had a drinking problem for a while and it's not fair to the family.

EDIT: I agree this is a last resort, but when the man won't listen to reason what choice is there.

 

[911paramedic]

Originally posted by: SociallyChallenged
I say spike some of his beers with ipecac syrup. That'll either sober him up so you can talk to him in a couple of hours or, if you do it multiple times, he may develop a physiological gag reflex to the alcohol. This is, of course, if nothing else works since it's messy and dishonest.

Worst...idea...ever. :roll:

 

[Modelworks]

Thanks for all the suggestions.
I really appreciate the sympathy.

He got alcohol poisoning two years ago and was about to lose everything he owned.
We all talked to him and he slowly got back on his feet and started the business he has , for now. Before it was a rough time for him, his wife and him were having problems and he was having trouble keeping a job. I somewhat understood then why he was drinking.

This time though, things seemed great. He was happy when I talked to him few weeks ago, his wife was happy , the business was doing great. It just makes no sense. Its like he has a great life and has just decided to throw it all away.

His daughter had a drinking problem but wasn't drinking until he started back, now she's joined dad. His wife is basically scared to talk to him when he is drinking. I wish I could get him to go to something like AA, but he says thats for people that got a problem ,and he doesn't have one, his money, he can drink all he wants, etc.

We got the bank cards, credit cards, but learned today he has started to pawn stuff to get the cash to drink. Its like he's all of sudden hell bent on destroying himself.

I thought of spiking his beers or doing something to make him sick, but figured thats not the best thing to do . All I know to do for know is to keep him off the road and hope he wises up.

 

[Steve]

He needs a wake-up call. Be it an intervention, an arrest, divorce papers, a freeze on all the money, beer that makes him puke, whatever it takes.

 

[LookingGlass]

Is the pressures of work getting to him, could be. I agree with Steve, when they get to that point, involving others, bringing them down with him. Time to take action, he will end up hurting himself, or someone else, or worse. I hope not.

It is time to step in, take things over, seriously, someone has to before the business is lost, and the house goes with it. Time for his sh!t to hit the fan. I know, my ex was an alcoholic.

 

[RadiclDreamer]

As cliche as it sounds, get the family together when hes sober (if possible) and have a good ole' fashioned intervention

 

[mrrman]

try to get him checked into a centre....without him knowing...drag him there..or call Dr Phil

 

[sandmanwake]

I say he found out the wife's been having an affair.