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Advise on how to approach roommate situation

H

hongkongfever

Senior member
I am currently living in a 2 bedroom apartment by myself. 2 months ago, my roommate got married and moved out. When he moved out, a good friend of mines was also looking to move out and offered to move in with me. This was like mid-September. I said okay and it was agreed he would move in late September.

Late September comes and he hasn't moved in yet. I asked him whats up and he said he's busy that weekend so it'll be early October. So I said fine. Again early October passes and he hasn't made any initiative in moving in. Every weekend, he is busy with something although I really question how busy he is considering he has nothing to move but his own clothes (he has no furniture).

I've been able to afford living on my own and paying the rent by myself but it would be nice to have some help. I have a co-worker who is looking to move out and although I don't know him as well as my good friend, I was thinking of asking him to move in with me. I think it's pretty ridiculous that it'll be almost 2 months since my good friend is supposed to move in and he has yet to start to move anything in so he can start paying rent.

I guess my question is, how do I go about telling my good friend to forget it as I found another roommate? I find it a touchy subject as I don't want to come out wrong and ruin our friendship. I don't want him to think of it as me ditching/bailing out on him for my co-worker. Then again I know I wouldn't be in the wrong by being blunt to him as it is his fault. But I'm just not that kind of person.
 
uhh talk to him about it?

sorry that was vague. Tell him that you have been waiting 2 months and you want to know what he is planning on doing. (dont say it like a little elitist bitch just ask him) Tell him that you need a yes or no because you have someone else that needs a place and you need help with the rent. Just be honest about it.
 
Just freaking tell him.

Hey...are you moving in or not? If not, then I'm going to find a new roommate so make a decision, and do it quick.
 
Originally posted by: OdiN
Just freaking tell him.

Hey...are you moving in or not? If not, then I'm going to find a new roommate so make a decision, and do it quick.
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man i'm tired of calling him and asking whats his status. i stopped doing it after the first month of him telling me he'll move in next week only to find he hasn't.
 
You should have set a deadline for him to pay for the 1st month's rent + deposit. If you really care, ask him once more and set one. If you prefer taking it up the ass, well, he's screwed you over twice so far and doesn't sound as if he's given you any $$$....
 
Just say something like: Hey man, I know you've been wanting to move in. Can you do that this weekend? If not, I've got somebody else who would like to move in. Its nothing personal, but I've just been waiting for a while and I could use the money.
 
Email him a link to this thread. Seriously.

If he's that good of a friend, you should be able to be perfectly honest with him about the decision you're struggling with. Tell him just what you've said here, and make him either commit or be superseded by your co-worker.

Essentially, I would find out when the co-worker wants to move in, and tell your friend that if he doesn't move in before the date your co-worker has in mind, then you're going to move forward with your co-worker.
 
Originally posted by: mooglemania85
You should have set a deadline for him to pay for the 1st month's rent + deposit. If you really care, ask him once more and set one. If you prefer taking it up the ass, well, he's screwed you over twice so far and doesn't sound as if he's given you any $$$....
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you know how it is. when it comes to friends, you tend to overlook playing by the book.
 
Originally posted by: Garth
Email him a link to this thread. Seriously.

If he's that good of a friend, you should be able to be perfectly honest with him about the decision you're struggling with. Tell him just what you've said here, and make him either commit or be superseded by your co-worker.

Essentially, I would find out when the co-worker wants to move in, and tell your friend that if he doesn't move in before the date your co-worker has in mind, then you're going to move forward with your co-worker.
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good idea. i should let my co-worker set the deadline and give dibs to whoever can meet that deadline.
 
Originally posted by: hongkongfever
Originally posted by: Garth
Email him a link to this thread. Seriously.

If he's that good of a friend, you should be able to be perfectly honest with him about the decision you're struggling with. Tell him just what you've said here, and make him either commit or be superseded by your co-worker.

Essentially, I would find out when the co-worker wants to move in, and tell your friend that if he doesn't move in before the date your co-worker has in mind, then you're going to move forward with your co-worker.
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good idea. i should let my co-worker set the deadline and give dibs to whoever can meet that deadline.
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It would be a good idea to set your friend's deadline a little farther ahead of time than when your co-worker can be ready to move in, so if your friend does decide to move in, you're not totally screwing over your co-worker by backing out on him at the last minute.
 
I've changed my mind. You should have a contest to determine who has the right to be your roommate. Most chicken wings in 15 minutes, or who can chug a gallon of milk and hold back teh vomit the longest.
 
Originally posted by: Leros
Just say something like: Hey man, I know you've been wanting to move in. Can you do that this weekend? If not, I've got somebody else who would like to move in. Its nothing personal, but I've just been waiting for a while and I could use the money.
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Yeah, what he said.
 
Originally posted by: Leros
Just say something like: Hey man, I know you've been wanting to move in. Can you do that this weekend? If not, I've got somebody else who would like to move in. Its nothing personal, but I've just been waiting for a while and I could use the money.
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Exactly give him a sure deadline and tell him if he doesn't meet it, the room is gone and it would be his fault. He wouldn't be a friend if he gets mad at that.
 
Your friend is obviously not a very good friend if he will screw you over like that. If I wanted to move in later I would still pay rent from the time we agreed on I would originally move in and then at my leisure I would move my stuff.
 
Your friend is taking advantage of your kindness. He knows you are footing a bill all by yourself and he really doesn't seem to care. Tell him you are tired of him being a flake.
 
It sounds like your good friend has changed his mind about movingh into your place but instead of manning up and telling you directly he's waffling.

You've been far too kind, he's had 2 months,if he wants the place he gives you some money by Nov 15th or you rent to somebody else.
 
how about you grow some balls. if you can't handle a simple situation like this then you are screwed for life.
 
Originally posted by: hongkongfever
Originally posted by: OdiN
Just freaking tell him.

Hey...are you moving in or not? If not, then I'm going to find a new roommate so make a decision, and do it quick.
Click to expand...

man i'm tired of calling him and asking whats his status. i stopped doing it after the first month of him telling me he'll move in next week only to find he hasn't.
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You don't sound like you care to have your bills slashed in half as much as you cared about making a post on ATOT.



A verbal commitment is worthless. Him telling you he's going to move in is no more of a commitment than him telling you that he is Superman.

Stringing you along for two months now should be a sign that you should move on. What does this situation show you about his ability to get the rent money to you on time and whatnot?

To me, the fact that someone who may be serious about actually moving in takes a back seat to the idea that this guy would be a lousy roommate. Let him into your place and we'll see a thread here in a few months titled "Roommate owes me for rent, constantly says he'll have it next weekend."

Call him today and tell him that you're offering it to someone else and that the ship has set sail for him to move in, and if you're some sort of bleeding heart sucker you can tell him you can hold off until Monday if he's ready to get serious.
 
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