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Adventures in CS

Modeps

Lifer
I get an email today for support on my product... this client was saying the emails that my program generate and send to her are too long. She doesnt want to scroll to view the information in the email.

What's the nicest way to tell someone to stop using computers?
 
Tell her it must be her machine because you NEVER have to scroll through emails...she must need to reinstall her operating system and always click on those pop-ups telling her the machine is running slow or is at risk.
 
Sounds kind of like that user who called in with a complaint that his monitor was dead. When asked, he couldn't find the power cord in the dark since the electricity was out. The support rep told him to box up his computer and send it back since he was too stupid to own it.

Alternatively...

We at Modeps software would like to introduce a new intelligence-based product support costing model. Your 2005 support renewal package will be priced inversely with your IQ. This will help all of the more intelligent users in the community, penalizing the dumber ones who are a pain in our collective asses. We're also introducing a special tier of support, only available to our "special" users. (Special is defined as users who have seriously asked where the "any" key is).

- G
 
Originally posted by: Garion
Sounds kind of like that user who called in with a complaint that his monitor was dead. When asked, he couldn't find the power cord in the dark since the electricity was out. The support rep told him to box up his computer and send it back since he was too stupid to own it.

Alternatively...

We at Modeps software would like to introduce a new intelligence-based product support costing model. Your 2005 support renewal package will be priced inversely with your IQ. This will help all of the more intelligent users in the community, penalizing the dumber ones who are a pain in our collective asses. We're also introducing a special tier of support, only available to our "special" users. (Special is defined as users who have seriously asked where the "any" key is).

- G

HAHA 😀 :beer:
 
Originally posted by: DnetMHZ
Tell her she is obviously experiencing an ID-10T error 😉

Another fun one - PEBKAC. (Problem Exists Between Keboard And Chair).

- Jason
 
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