Adulting is rough IMO

[Shmee]

Yeah I don't have kids, but I have a lovely orange cat. So I am a cat dad. Don't want kids either. But I am getting older, and I have noticed I get sore more often at times, guess it happens to everyone...

As for OP, I agree that you need more you time. Got to balance family, work, and hobbies.

 

[JM Aggie08]

👍 to UT99

I run my own server. It's listed on the 333 site's UT99 page - {CBGB} Clan Server. My old clan from back in the day.

Hell yea, brother.

 

[dank69]

I would love to go back to the 90's, but as an adult.

But, Clinton was in charge back then...

 

[Iron Woode]

Hell yea, brother.

use the Oldunreal 469 patch to access new master servers.

 

[Kaido]

Kinda miss LAN parties

Or playing games alllllllll weekend

Spent many fun nights on Hackintosh back in the day. Now you can get a 14-core Mac Mini with 32 gigs of RAM & a 20-core GPU that fits in the palm of your hand lol

 

[TXHokie]

Got active on here when I first got married and no kids in my late 20s in late 90's. Spent lots of my time then upgrading my gaming rig, going to LAN parties, crushing my skills with Quake and CS, outdoor biking and camping, travel with friends etc. Then came the 1-2-3 punch of popping 3 kids 2 years apart in my early 30s. I don't remember much as those child rearing years became foggy and we had no parents around to help. Fun personal priorities went out the door and it was non stop zombie mode work and caring for family. I can relate when getting home from work/commute and was just exhausted from the daily grind and help taking care of little toddlers. It doesn't get less busy, just different work going from changing dirty diapers to being busy with their sports and activities long into their high school years (tho great fun looking back btw).

Fast forward 25 years....my 3rd kid just went off to college and I'm counting down the days when he graduate then I will retire at 60. I just finally got into getting back into physical shape since those child raising years got me bad eating/sleeping habit, a dad bod with beer belly, and pre-diabetes. Took a good past two years of weight lifting, cardio, and diet to get back in shape and finally back into body form I haven't seen since my college years tho it still squeaks and is nowhere near those high flying early days. Time has taken its toll. Tried to get back onling gaming but my reaction skills sucks now and I need reading glasses....wtf.

If I could go back in time I would tell my early 30s self to take better care of my health and get my finance/investing skills up to snuff.

 

[pete6032]

Ha. Well, either that means you are having issues in your personal life, or that means that since you don't have enough free time, it's all taken up with responsibilities and you need more to do your own thing.

What if you told your boss you were going to work four days a week for 32 hours total, and they said yes, do you think all that extra free time would let you have more you time?

Work as a break from life is a common thing when you have young kids. OP is not in the minority there. Also when you have kids there is no "need more to do you own thing." It is almost always about the child every waking moment.

Your "own thing" can only happen between 8PM and 6AM because the rest of the time is spent working or caring for your child. Oh, and by the way you need to spend time with your spouse after your child goes down because time with your spouse while the child is awake is really not time with your spouse. So take an hour for time with your spouse and now your "own thing" can happen between 9PM and 6AM. Do some cleaning, meal prep, laundry and now you can do your own thing between 10PM and 6AM, which is basically time to sleep.

 

[biostud]

 

[biostud]

Nm

 

[Stopsignhank]

View attachment 111679

My sister is 9 years younger than me. She used to draw on the walls, not as elaborate as the farting moose, and get in trouble for it. One time she drew on the wall and signed it, "By Hank".

 

[biostud]

You're never too old. My dad was in his mid 40's when I was born. I wouldn't suggest waiting until you're 60 though 😉

Anyway, adulting is definitely hard. Just when you think you have a handle on shit, it goes completely awry. Hence I find myself divorced in my early 40's. So it goes...

I started here when I was in HS.

Yeah I got my first daughter at the age of 38, then 40, 41 and 45.

But it comes down to your life situation and meeting the right one to have children with.

I met my wife when I was 36 and she was 29.

 

[pete6032]

Yeah I got my first daughter at the age of 38, then 40, 41 and 45.

But it comes down to your life situation and meeting the right one to have children with.

I met my wife when I was 36 and she was 29.

Did you put any of them in day care full time? Full time daycare in any decent size US city costs about $2,000 per month per child.

 

[biostud]

Did you put any of them in day care full time? Full time daycare in any decent size US city costs about $2,000 per month per child.

Yeah, day care is between $600 and $300 and you get 50% off for each child after your first. We also receive $750 in child support every month (in total).

Currently we have one in full-time day care and two in after school club for a total of of $523.

We each get three months of maternity/paternity leave with full salary and the last 5 months you get $2800 if full time employed.

So this is some of what we use our taxes on 😛

 

[pete6032]

Yeah, day care is between $600 and $300 and you get 50% off for each child after your first. We also receive $750 in child support every month (in total).

Currently we have one in full-time day care and two in after school club for a total of of $523.

We each get three months of maternity/paternity leave with full salary and the last 5 months you get $2800 if full time employed.

So this is some of what we use our taxes on 😛

In the US women get 6 weeks paid. Spouse gets no time off. There is no child support unless you are below poverty level.

 

[IronWing]

So this is some of what we use our taxes on 😛

Higher taxes in trade for better benefits is simply beyond the comprehension of the American electorate.

 

[repoman0]

In the US women get 6 weeks paid. Spouse gets no time off. There is no child support unless you are below poverty level.

That heavily depends on location within the US. Yes, most of the country is a shithole but there are pockets of light. Here in MA both parents are guaranteed 12 weeks paid (not necessarily full salary past a threshold). My wife will be getting 20 weeks full salary next year and I get 6. Will probably just go back to work rather than take the additional 6 at the state pay rate.

 

[NutBucket]

Higher taxes in trade for better benefits is simply beyond the comprehension of the American electorate.

P&N is that way....

 

[biostud]

In the US women get 6 weeks paid. Spouse gets no time off. There is no child support unless you are below poverty level.

This is what everyone gets. If you are below poverty levels you sometimes get paid day care.

 

[pete6032]

That heavily depends on location within the US. Yes, most of the country is a shithole but there are pockets of light. Here in MA both parents are guaranteed 12 weeks paid (not necessarily full salary past a threshold). My wife will be getting 20 weeks full salary next year and I get 6. Will probably just go back to work rather than take the additional 6 at the state pay rate.

Massachusetts is an exception, not the rule unfortunately.

Explainer: Paid and Unpaid Leave Policies in the United States

A short primer on private-sector workers’ access and use of federal unpaid leave through the FMLA and an introduction to state programs.

www.newamerica.org

I have worked at places that are exempt from being required to allow any type of leave (much less paid leave) because the firm was less than 50 employees. We live in a first world country with third world policies for new mothers.