Adopton ethics question

[imported_goku]

Originally posted by: bsobel

Originally posted by: goku
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As useless as always. To think Dugg's gone because of you, what an unfair trade.

He banned himself, I made a thread, he danced in and out and got banned, it's not my fault, not like I wanted him to leave or anything.

 

[DainBramaged]

I know that this is a lot easier to post in an internet forum than to actually do, but I think that the adopted daughter needs to have a reasonable discussion with her mother. If that fails, then she needs to let her mom know that she is going to go ahead and talk to them anyway.

This is assuming that everyone here is adults.

 

[waggy]

how is it selfish that she wants to get to know her half brothers and sisters? if they do not want to talk to her then they can say thank you but we do not want to disrupt oure lives.

this girl has the right to know about her family. If her biological mother is saying no to fricken bad. she has no say in the matter. she gave up all say when she put her up for adoption.


will it destroy the relationship between the other kids and there mother? i doubt it very much. it really depends on what the mother has to say about it. If it does destroy the relationship i doubt it was very strong in the first place.

i say go for it. If i found out i was adopted and wanted to know my brother and sisters etc i would find out. hurt feelings can heal. her always wondering about ifs will not.

 

[amdforever2]

What is going to be gained?

For all the risk of unending drama, who benefits in what way?

 

[T9D]

If she wants to talk to them then she should talk to them. At that point the other adult children can make their decision as to weather they want her in their life. We dont know what the other half siblings would think. They should have a say and a chance to decide for themselves.

She has every right to explore her family line.

 

[bsobel]

For all the risk of unending drama, who benefits in what way?

I get the impression its more for her kids (knowing they have more family, aunts and uncles) than for herself. Although, I'm sure curiosity plays a big part in it as well.

A couple people did mention the father didn't respond for a reason, I think that is still unclear. A letter was sent but no reply received, it's presumed (hoped?) it made it to the right person. On that end I told her to send another and let him know she wanted to reach the children. I think she presumed the no response was intentional, but I tend to think you should at least try twice to be sure.

Gotta be weird for that guy tho, from the biological mother, she broke up with him when she found out she was pregnant. Never told him, he want off to Vietnam. They never spoke again. I tend to wonder if he even believed the letter 'Dear so and so, remember dating this lady almost 4 decades ago, well guess what....' That has to be kinda, well strange (but as I guy I figure its better than finding out before they turn 18 )

 

[bsobel]

Originally posted by: goku

Originally posted by: bsobel

Originally posted by: goku
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As useless as always. To think Dugg's gone because of you, what an unfair trade.

He banned himself, I made a thread, he danced in and out and got banned, it's not my fault, not like I wanted him to leave or anything.

Look at every other response in this thread. People have been kind enough to post their opinion and make their argument. I'm friends with some of these people, and some of the others I just know from their reputation here.

Now look at your response. See how it's the 'pick which of the following doesn't match the others'. This is one of the reasons you are so generally disliked here and why good guys like Dug snap and point it out.

 

[d3n]

I've got two adopted kids running around the house right now. I have no good answers. I do have a safe deposit box with the info tucked away if for some reason there comes a day that they want to contact etheir family. This was all gathered under the table just so they would have the option if they wanted too. Officially they should not know a thing.

At least your friend knows something. For my kids its best left up to the imagination until theres a time when they can handle R rated topics.

 

[Chaotic42]

I'm adopted and to be quiet honest I have no interest in meeting the rest of my biological family (I was adopted by my maternal grandparents. Never met anyone on my dad's site. Seen mom twice).

There's really no point. I know who my real family is.