Abstinence education poll

[BaliBabyDoc]

Originally posted by: HotChic
I'm a VERY conservative Christian, and I favor abstinence with sex ed.

However, I also favor teaching, along with the facts about sex, STDs and pregnancy, the difference between right and wrong, and that it is wrong to have sex prior to marriage. I know that's probably not popular, but I bet it's more effective than either abstinence or sex ed alone.

I know what most conservatives fear about teaching kids sex ed, but honestly there's no reason to fear facts and data as long as you're teaching them morals and right/wrong at the same time.

Why is it "wrong" to have sex prior to marriage? Personally, I think it's unequivocally preferable that sexual relations be "saved" for committed relationships but what justifies calling premarital sex "wrong" and marital sex "right?"

Kids are very astute at detecting incongruent arguments. Now if your kid grows up home schooled with ZERO exposure to a television . . . you might have a fighting chance. Otherwise, they will be keenly aware that SEX is a pervasive element of our society.

Good parents will tell their kids the truth. It is a choice . . . not between right or wrong . . . but between self-respect and self-indulgence. Unfortunately, a society that emphasizes conspicuous consumption has no moral standing (or ability whatsoever) to convey such a message.

As much as I disagreed with Pope John Paul II and likely Pope Benedict XVI on gay marriage, homosexuality, and contraception . . . at least they are consistent when it comes to a message of self respect, respect for others, and responsibility to others.

 

[3chordcharlie]

Originally posted by: BaliBabyDoc
Why is it "wrong" to have sex prior to marriage? Personally, I think it's unequivocally preferable that sexual relations be "saved" for committed relationships but what justifies calling premarital sex "wrong" and marital sex "right?"

I entirely agree with this - my version of abstinence education is to encourage kids not to just jump into sex because they think it will be fun. There's enough risk that kids should be encouraged to think long and hard about what they want, and what they're ready for.

 

[JulesMaximus]

How about a "sex education" only option?

I don't see why the schools need to go so far as to promote abstinence. Shouldn't parents be the ones having these conversations with their children?

 

[Gaard]

Originally posted by: BaliBabyDoc
Why is it "wrong" to have sex prior to marriage? Personally, I think it's unequivocally preferable that sexual relations be "saved" for committed relationships but what justifies calling premarital sex "wrong" and marital sex "right?"

The first bolded word is the key.
The second bolded word is subjective. Personally (drat, there's that word again ), I don't understand how a piece of paper makes a relationship more 'committed' than the next.

Originally posted by: BaliBabyDoc
It is a choice . . . not between right or wrong . . . but between self-respect and self-indulgence.

I agree it's a choice. I don't agree that premarital sex has anything at all to do with self-respect. Now, if you're saying that being a slut (male or female) has something to do with self-respect, I'd agree with that.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: Gaard

Originally posted by: BaliBabyDoc
Why is it "wrong" to have sex prior to marriage? Personally, I think it's unequivocally preferable that sexual relations be "saved" for committed relationships but what justifies calling premarital sex "wrong" and marital sex "right?"

The first bolded word is the key.
The second bolded word is subjective. Personally (drat, there's that word again ), I don't understand how a piece of paper makes a relationship more 'committed' than the next.

Originally posted by: BaliBabyDoc
It is a choice . . . not between right or wrong . . . but between self-respect and self-indulgence.

I agree it's a choice. I don't agree that premarital sex has anything at all to do with self-respect. Now, if you're saying that being a slut (male or female) has something to do with self-respect, I'd agree with that.

I have no problem with premarital sex. I lived with my wife before we married and I had sex with other women prior to meeting my wife. I wouldn't change any of those experiences either.

When my son is older I'll talk to him about sex and tell him that sex should be between two people who care for each other and should not be taken lightly. I will also tell him to use birth control if he does get into a sexual relationship.

Acting like it is wrong or immoral is not a healthy way to bring up a child IMO. If anything I think that would hinder healthy sexual relationships later on in life.

Sex=good
Religious nutjobs=Bad

 

[BaliBabyDoc]

Originally posted by: Gaard

Originally posted by: BaliBabyDoc
Why is it "wrong" to have sex prior to marriage? Personally, I think it's unequivocally preferable that sexual relations be "saved" for committed relationships but what justifies calling premarital sex "wrong" and marital sex "right?"

The first bolded word is the key.
The second bolded word is subjective. Personally (drat, there's that word again ), I don't understand how a piece of paper makes a relationship more 'committed' than the next.

Originally posted by: BaliBabyDoc
It is a choice . . . not between right or wrong . . . but between self-respect and self-indulgence.

I agree it's a choice. I don't agree that premarital sex has anything at all to do with self-respect. Now, if you're saying that being a slut (male or female) has something to do with self-respect, I'd agree with that.

Let me clarify . . . as a former practioner of premarital sex and rare practioner of marital sex, I'm not claiming any moral high ground on the issue. IMHO, sex within any committed relationship is an unambiguous good for the individuals and society. Promiscuity (regardless of marital status/relationship) is typically bad for at least one of the individuals. And to the extent that it's unprotected sex it's bad for the individuals and society. Anybody with a different POV should feel free to go play with themselves for the rest of my post . . . unless of course you are afraid to get pregnant.

My kid is 27 weeks ago so I have a little time to get my story straight . . . but the body is truly the only thing you will ever own. Accordingly, you should respect it with a good diet, exercise, no "recreational" drugs, no smoking, and minimal (if any) alcohol. In addition, you should NEVER allow someone else to treat you as a means to an ends. IMHO, that's all promiscuous sex entails. The fact that it's mutual doesn't make it better . . . allowing someone to disrespect you makes it worse.

I don't believe there's a magic # for ho' (male or female) status. But definitely an "Ed Meese-style" a posteriori assessment:
Brittany Spears . . . geez.
Jennifer Lopez . . . probably not . . . low total considering her age . . . plus she married three and engaged to two others.
Paris Hilton . . . one of the few women that make Brittany seem respectable.
Random NBA basketball player . . . see Brittany.

There are plenty of people with a history of self-abuse by ceding their self-respect:
George Bush (alcohol, plus other)
Rush Limbaugh (prescription drugs, plus food)
Hilary Clinton (power)

It's a choice. Even those with addictions make choices that are somewhat within their control. So my take is that abstinence is just another personal decision but not inherently a moral decision aside from being a question of what you value personally.