About being single...

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p0ntif

Platinum Member
Feb 18, 2001
2,130
0
76
Originally posted by: lawaris
and as a bonus ... I can be with so many people in a month


variety is the spice of life


Amen to that . . .unfortunately sometimes I crave the heart-felt security, and that honest loving feeling that I don't really derive from some 2 week fling or what have you.
 

sheselectric

Golden Member
Mar 6, 2002
1,210
0
0
p0ntif, i know exactly what you're talking about. every time i date a guy for a while, i start to wonder if there's a guy out there who's just as great as the one i have at that time, but doesn't have long sideburns/has a better sense of humor/is more sensitive/etc. so as you said, the cycle starts up again...

but i do believe there are people out there i won't get bored with. one of my exes was like that. we're still really close friends actually. in the end, there are some people you click with, and some you don't.
 

her209

No Lifer
Oct 11, 2000
56,336
11
0
I don't see how "Breathing...of the opposite sex... and human" is that high of a standard.

But seriously, what's wrong with "Supermodel and/or Playboy bunny, millionaire, and smart" :D
 

Nemesis77

Diamond Member
Jun 21, 2001
7,329
0
0
It took me a long time to find that one particular girl. I don't know that were my standards too high (well, beggars can't be picky). I had this dream-girl I tried to find. Someone who is genuinely kind, caring and nice. She's intelligent and wise. Someone who would be there for me and listen to what I have to say. I could have long conversations with her. She wouldn't be shallow and spend her free time partying. And she wouldn't drink or smoke (those two traits tell alot about ones personality IMO). And, of course, she would love me.

It seemed impossible to find a girl like that :(. But, then I did find one :). And she was really beautiful to top it all off (appearance wasn't on my "list"). And, she did get "interested" in me in the end ;). Took me a long time and alot of work, but it was worth it :).
 

SubZeroX

Senior member
Oct 24, 2001
716
0
0
Originally posted by: gopunk
who knows... i may think it is for one reason, but it is probably for a deeper reason that i'm not willing to address :p

umm...Gopunk, I'm not insulting you or anything, but I hope it's not something about you thinking that you might be gay or something.
 

Phunktion

Platinum Member
Jan 29, 2001
2,502
0
0
Originally posted by: toph99
i have been shot down 3 times in the past few months, i have very low standards too ;) so long as she and i have interesting conversations, it's a possiblity. girls prefer me as a friend instead of anything more
I am perpetually cursed by this problem :( Of course I don't have any standards be them low or high.. I just find women that interest me be it body or personality (depends on which brain's doing the thinking that day ;)).. of course after all these years with the curse I've simply stopped looking and low and behold I get surrounded by potentials..
rolleye.gif


Regardless though I've decided to pass on taking any action and I think I'll become indifferent to the issue and just let them remain friends for now.. after all that's probably all they'll end up wanting me to be anyway...... :frown: Funny thing is I know the curse isn't because of them, it's mostly because of me and who I am.. :disgust:

Edit: Notice many emoticons expressing deeply set bitterness.....
 

Turkey

Senior member
Jan 10, 2000
839
0
0
When I was single I don't think I had impossibly high standards... I just didn't click with anyone. I think I dated just about everyone that I did click with, except the one that was really religious and engaged ;). So yeah... I've pretty much gone out with everyone I've wanted to go out with, but that list has been very short. I don't have a problem being single, it's pretty nice actually. But now I'm dating this great girl, and it doesn't really feel like we're dating because its been very non-disruptive to the rest of my life (work, running, climbing, other friends, etc), even though we hang out 2-3 times a week and talk just about every day. Aah... it's like the best of both worlds :cool:
 

AznMaverick

Platinum Member
Apr 4, 2001
2,776
0
0
Whoa, i'm glad to see that there are people just like me, waiting for that one person. the problem is...i'm 19 and haven't gone out with a girl ONCE. i'm afraid that i'll end up 30, in the same situation :(
 

Nemesis77

Diamond Member
Jun 21, 2001
7,329
0
0
Originally posted by: AznMaverick
Whoa, i'm glad to see that there are people just like me, waiting for that one person. the problem is...i'm 19 and haven't gone out with a girl ONCE. i'm afraid that i'll end up 30, in the same situation :(

Been there, done that. I met my dream-girl when I was 21 years old (we became a couple a year later). At times I thought that I would never find her. But I did. Just hang in there :).
 

datalink7

Lifer
Jan 23, 2001
16,765
6
81
The problem isn't that I set my standard to high. It is that no girl I've met would set their standard so low.

And that's all I have to say about that.
 

jjones

Lifer
Oct 9, 2001
15,424
2
0
When I was single it wasn't about having high standards; you could tell that by some of the girls I slept with. It was about finding the perfect girl to ruin my life; you can't just expect any girl to fill that role.
 

lawaris

Banned
Jun 26, 2001
3,690
1
0
Originally posted by: p0ntif
Originally posted by: lawaris
and as a bonus ... I can be with so many people in a month


variety is the spice of life


Amen to that . . .unfortunately sometimes I crave the heart-felt security, and that honest loving feeling that I don't really derive from some 2 week fling or what have you.


:( what about a 5 year fling ............only to come up empty handed and realise that u have bee a fool
 

p0ntif

Platinum Member
Feb 18, 2001
2,130
0
76
:( what about a 5 year fling ............only to come up empty handed and realise that u have bee a fool


that would certainly suck. I haven't been in a five year fling, but I was in a 5-year relationship with my first girlfriend because it was just too hard to let go even though we weren't really cut out for eachother. I loved and still do love her very much, but breaking it off with her was the best thing I ever did, and i regret not doing it sooner. But alas, that is just one of the lessons in life I learned from :)
 

Koing

Elite Member <br> Super Moderator<br> Health and F
Oct 11, 2000
16,843
2
0
Originally posted by: AznMaverick
Whoa, i'm glad to see that there are people just like me, waiting for that one person. the problem is...i'm 19 and haven't gone out with a girl ONCE. i'm afraid that i'll end up 30, in the same situation :(

Just get out there and have fun. You'll find a girl sooner or later.

I'm 18 and haven't dated. I've got no problems with socialising, confidence and such. I have a lot of friends and do a lot of things. I've just not met a girl that I'd date or like her enough to bother to pursue anything. I've met one girl but shes going out with my friend.

But I've finally met a girl that I like so I been having fun spending time with her since september. But the killer is that for the past month and also for the next month I been studying and I got exams. They start tomorrow fact so I've not been able to see her no matter how I try to make time:( Sucks not seeing her but shes cool with it as she understands how I need to get my grades so I get to Uni and thus be closer to her and I can spend more time with her. Then the relationship will getm ore serious:D
 

Cal166

Diamond Member
May 6, 2000
5,081
8
81
It Just That Guys Are A Bit Conceded Sometimes. For Example My Friends...They All Want A HOT CHICK and Goes For Girls Thats Outta Their Limit. In Reality I've Seen The Girls They Have Been Dating..... Thats Why They're Single Cuz They Aim To High.
 

Daniel

Diamond Member
Oct 10, 1999
3,813
0
76
Hmm, well a few reasons. First off I wouldn't say I have impossibly high standards, somewhat high though, I'm reasonable though because I expect the same things from a girlfriend that I woudl bring to a relationship.

Also, I'm not in a situation to meet many people anymore, I work a lot and all my friends are already married, when I'm free I'm usually training or teaching and there aren't many girls there.

Awhile back I was in a 4.5 year very serious relationship, that ended in a very messy breakup. Right afterwards I freaked out cause I was single and it had been so long it was just so foriegn to me. My brother said something that made a lot of sense right then. He said "Daniel, you need to be ok with yourself before you jump into another relationship", which might have been one of the more accurate things I wish more people would abide by.

So overall, I've seen someone since then for awhile but it didn't work out. Would I like to be with the right person now, sure who wouldn't, but its not the end of the world being single either. People who feel they are totally incomplete and can't go on without a boyfriend/girlfriend really aren't all that comfortable with themselves in the first place... but again that's just my opinion.
 

Koing

Elite Member <br> Super Moderator<br> Health and F
Oct 11, 2000
16,843
2
0
Originally posted by: Cal166
It Just That Guys Are A Bit Conceded Sometimes. For Example My Friends...They All Want A HOT CHICK and Goes For Girls Thats Outta Their Limit. In Reality I've Seen The Girls They Have Been Dating..... Thats Why They're Single Cuz They Aim To High.

Every word with a capital letter ahey?

 

Brutuskend

Lifer
Apr 2, 2001
26,558
4
0
For me it's because I'm a picky bastard..
With nothing much to offer in return (Except being a NICE guy of course) ;)

So @ 48 I'm still single....

And looking back on my life it's not that I haven't HAD women that met my standards in the past. I guess I just let them slip away...

Let this be a lesson to the younger guys out there. When you find "The ONE" be smart enough to KNOW it and hang on to her....................................

Edit: BTW I'm NOT over weight and I'm in great shape for my age, plus I'm really NOT a bad looking guy....(Quite cute infact for a old gezzer!;))
 

AznMaverick

Platinum Member
Apr 4, 2001
2,776
0
0
dang everything would be so much easier if both guys and girls were straight forward with each other. On the other hand, being shot down sucks a lot.
 

Kadarin

Lifer
Nov 23, 2001
44,296
16
81
I'm 33, and while I'm not married, I haven't been officially single (with one brief exception a few years ago) since I was 18.. (long-term relationships with different women). I believe that I have yet to meet my true "dream-girl". I don't have a mental image of her, but I do know that she will be someone who deeply affects me.

For now, I stay with my (very good-looking) g/f who is my best friend, who is an awesome person, who is smart and sweet and considerate and for some reason I don't know why I am just not in love with her :(
 

Pabster

Lifer
Apr 15, 2001
16,986
1
0
p0ntif wrote:

"Who the hell cares? I'm single right now. I'm the same person as I was with a GF, except I have more time and money for myself to waste."

BINGO!

:D :p :)

I have one when I want one. Simple as that. I do tend to believe the "AT Guys Can't Get Girls" syndrome though. Losers! :p :)
 

Praetor

Diamond Member
Oct 14, 1999
4,498
4
81
Here's why I'm single:

I haven't found anyone that
a) can put up and keep up with me
b) is perfectly sane and meets a
c) Is decently intelligent.

My last ex met my a requirement. Unfortunately, she turned out to be freaking psychotic and dumb as a box of rocks. "Don't use such big words! You know I don't know what they mean." (no, I'm not joking)

The last girl I went out with I thought met all the requirements. Plus, she was attractive, fun to be with and I'd known her for a while as a friend. However, one date with me scared her off. :( :p
 

dfi

Golden Member
Apr 20, 2001
1,213
0
0
I'm almost 22, yet haven't been looking for a girl in 4-5 years. Why? It all started in junior high...

7th grade: want girl who already has a boyfriend. Sometimes she wants me, other times she just wants to be friends.

8th grade: girl that I talk to a lot. She's interested in me but I'm not in her. She dates my best friend to try to make me jealous (but it doesn't work). Then we stop talking. Few months later she calls me out of the blues, and tells me that she is over me because she has come to realize that she is too good for me.

8th grade: find a girl. Pursue her. But once I find out she's interested, I lose interest (I know, I'm a jerk).

8th grade summer: best friend and I compete over same girl. I get her (yay!). She is really sexual aggressive; scares me half to death. Break up with her.

9th grade: went straight for cheerleader. Thinks she is interested, but then realize she is using me to make her ex jealous. Doh!

9th grade: sexual tension with long time friend (at least from my perspective). Neither of us say or do anything about it.

10th grade: flirt with girl who already has a boyfriend, knowing I'm not interested in her. She tells me that she's thinking of breaking up with her boyfriend, which makes me feel like an asshole, so I stop flirting (and eventually stop talking) with her.

10th grade: new girl transfers to my school. Everything is going great... until her friends (that I've never met) start calling me and telling me to ask her out. Plus she asked my sister if I ever hit her (my sister that is), but didn't want me to know that she asked (which my sister told me anyways). Freaked me out.

11th grade: random girl that I don't know expresses interest. Nothing happens.

1th grade: friend is interested in me, and everone thinks we're going out. Of course, I'm completely oblivious to all this until I get to college.

12th grade: start talking to girl, as just friends, who is a nympho. She had problems.

4 year college dry spell.

So, I basically don't understand girls. Surprise, surprise! Also, I've come to realize that I:

1. don't know what I want
2. am not quite sure what to do around girls
3. am afraid of leading girls on
4. am afraid that half the girls out there are crazy
5. want to wait until marriage before I have sex, but still want to bang the brains out of every hot girl I see.

Hrm, I need to start dating before my phobia of girls gets any worse...

dfi
 

Geekbabe

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Oct 16, 1999
32,229
2,539
126
www.theshoppinqueen.com
Originally posted by: dfi
I'm almost 22, yet haven't been looking for a girl in 4-5 years. Why? It all started in junior high...

7th grade: want girl who already has a boyfriend. Sometimes she wants me, other times she just wants to be friends.

8th grade: girl that I talk to a lot. She's interested in me but I'm not in her. She dates my best friend to try to make me jealous (but it doesn't work). Then we stop talking. Few months later she calls me out of the blues, and tells me that she is over me because she has come to realize that she is too good for me.

8th grade: find a girl. Pursue her. But once I find out she's interested, I lose interest (I know, I'm a jerk).

8th grade summer: best friend and I compete over same girl. I get her (yay!). She is really sexual aggressive; scares me half to death. Break up with her.

9th grade: went straight for cheerleader. Thinks she is interested, but then realize she is using me to make her ex jealous. Doh!

9th grade: sexual tension with long time friend (at least from my perspective). Neither of us say or do anything about it.

10th grade: flirt with girl who already has a boyfriend, knowing I'm not interested in her. She tells me that she's thinking of breaking up with her boyfriend, which makes me feel like an asshole, so I stop flirting (and eventually stop talking) with her.

10th grade: new girl transfers to my school. Everything is going great... until her friends (that I've never met) start calling me and telling me to ask her out. Plus she asked my sister if I ever hit her (my sister that is), but didn't want me to know that she asked (which my sister told me anyways). Freaked me out.

11th grade: random girl that I don't know expresses interest. Nothing happens.

1th grade: friend is interested in me, and everone thinks we're going out. Of course, I'm completely oblivious to all this until I get to college.

12th grade: start talking to girl, as just friends, who is a nympho. She had problems.

4 year college dry spell.

So, I basically don't understand girls. Surprise, surprise! Also, I've come to realize that I:

1. don't know what I want
2. am not quite sure what to do around girls
3. am afraid of leading girls on
4. am afraid that half the girls out there are crazy
5. want to wait until marriage before I have sex, but still want to bang the brains out of every hot girl I see.

Hrm, I need to start dating before my phobia of girls gets any worse...

dfi


I shake my head in sadness and amazement when I read this kind of stuff, my 15 yr old son does better with girls than most of you guys and he's autistic .LOL,he's got a date for his 8th grade graduation dance, and she's the girl who was number 1 on his list of 3 possibles... lol, my son,the ladies man :)

Maybe I'll ask him later if he wants to share some dating tips with you guys, he just left for a day out with
a group of friends !