Working through some combinations currently. The core issue seems to be a series of unfortunate factors, combining cooler location, RAM voltage and height of the DIMM heatsinks, airflow and unfortunate ATX socket placement creating a hot air pocket. The stock cooler can keep temperatures down below 70C with the case lid off.
There is however a very pronounced correlation between RAM voltage and power consumption (using HWinfo as it can read data off the IR3567s used on the board, with Aida64 as backup and a power meter for tertiary information). I'm seeing a massive increase in power consumption with 1.65V vs 1.5V at the same (2133MHz) speed. We're talking from 90-95W max with 1.5V to 120W+ spikes with the RAM at 1.65V. Apparently just enough to overwhelm the stock cooler. The motherboard had not configured the RAM properly, sending a scorching 1.65V through. I should have remembered to check everything manually...
(so much for plug'n'set-XMP)
Another thing I found is that it gets completely crazy with 1.35V RAM at 1600MHz vs 1.65V RAM at 2133MHz. Changing brought a 30W(!) reduction in measured power consumption, and both temperatures suddenly became noticeably lower idling at below 30C reported.
I'm surprised no one has stumbled on this before, I have been using some google-fu and found nothing close. If some of you have, would you please post a link?
So the point must be, that if you want to run 100W APUs with highspeed (>1866MHz at 1.5V) you should check if your cooling and airflow are up to it. I'm limited in my case choice to low-profile ones due to placement.
I'm thinking of dumping this kit in my main system (works great) as an "unplanned semi-"upgrade"", and getting some low-profile Crucial 1.35V DDR3-1600. The old kit from the HTPC can be put to good use elsewhere. The performance increase going from 1600MHz 9-9-9-27 to 2133MHz 11-11-11-30 is only around 200MB/s according to Aida64 (~21000MB/s to ~21200MB/s Read and ~9900MB/s to 10500MB/s Write).
Oh, and thanks to everyone for your input...

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