OK, I'll be serious. I used to have a problem with heartburn until I quit smoking.
My father never smoked, and had heartburn problems, but he'd drink a few pots of coffee every day. The first thing to do about heartburn is examine your diet.
Secondly, for instant relief Tums or Rolaids work great. If there's none of that to be found, try a glass of milk. If you're having it more than four or five times a week, go see a doctor.