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A man walks into a bar

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Originally posted by: jaedaliu
Originally posted by: DanJ
Originally posted by: hevnsnt
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. "I'm sorry sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from the previous customer, I'll smell it and order from there."

A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath.

"Ah, yes that's what I'll have, meatloaf and mashed potatoes." Unbelievable, the owner says to himself as he walks towards the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner's wife and he tells her what had just happened. The blind man eats his meal and leaves. Several days later the blind man returns and the owner mistakenly brings him a menu again.

"Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man." "I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork." The owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man.

After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great, I take the Macaroni and cheese with broccoli. Once again walking away in disbelief, the owner things the blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in he's going to test him.

The blind man eats and leaves. He returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him coming and runs to the kitchen. He tells his wife, "Mary rub this fork around your vagina before I take it to the blind man." Mary complies and hands her husband the fork back.

As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting. "Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you." The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff and says, "Hey I didn't know that Mary worked here?"
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Ok, did the blind man eat someone on a plane?
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2 different things, first thing is a riddle, second one a joke.

it's more of a desserted island and friend keeping him alive type of thing.(the riddle)
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lol yea i know, my post was a joke.
 
Originally posted by: robothouse77
probably everyone knows this:

he takes one sip of the soup, walks outside, and shoots himself in the head...why does he do it?

y/n questions only
Click to expand...

Um.. The guy was stranded on an deserted island for 20 years, with only pelicans to keep him company. He was very hungry, but wouldn't eat the pelicans because he thought they were poisonous, so he ate slime and snails for 20 years.

After he is rescued, he sees a bar that serves pelican soup. He eat's it and realizes that not only are pelicans not poisionous, they are absolutely delicious.

He shoots himself for being a retard for 20 years.

The end.


😕 Yeah, i have no idea what I'm talking about. It is the weekend yet? :beer: :beer:
 
Originally posted by: cKGunslinger
Originally posted by: robothouse77
probably everyone knows this:

he takes one sip of the soup, walks outside, and shoots himself in the head...why does he do it?

y/n questions only
Click to expand...

Um.. The guy was stranded on an deserted island for 20 years, with only pelicans to keep him company. He was very hungry, but wouldn't eat the pelicans because he thought they were poisonous, so he ate slime and snails for 20 years.

After he is rescued, he sees a bar that serves pelican soup. He eat's it and realizes that not only are pelicans not poisionous, they are absolutely delicious.

He shoots himself for being a retard for 20 years.

The end.


😕 Yeah, i have no idea what I'm talking about. It is the weekend yet? :beer: :beer:
Click to expand...

Good enough for me. Let's call it a wrap. Everybody go home!
 
Originally posted by: nakedfrog
Originally posted by: cKGunslinger
Originally posted by: robothouse77
probably everyone knows this:

he takes one sip of the soup, walks outside, and shoots himself in the head...why does he do it?

y/n questions only
Click to expand...

Um.. The guy was stranded on an deserted island for 20 years, with only pelicans to keep him company. He was very hungry, but wouldn't eat the pelicans because he thought they were poisonous, so he ate slime and snails for 20 years.

After he is rescued, he sees a bar that serves pelican soup. He eat's it and realizes that not only are pelicans not poisionous, they are absolutely delicious.

He shoots himself for being a retard for 20 years.

The end.


😕 Yeah, i have no idea what I'm talking about. It is the weekend yet? :beer: :beer:
Click to expand...

Good enough for me. Let's call it a wrap. Everybody go home!
Click to expand...

wow.. if you thought that all up on your own, I am impressed.. Seems like a feasable answer to me.
 
A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. He tells the bartender, "I'll have a beer, and one for the road, please."
 
Originally posted by: rudder
A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. He tells the bartender, "I'll have a beer, and one for the road, please."
Click to expand...

:thumbsup: 😛

Nice one!
 
Originally posted by: hevnsnt
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. "I'm sorry sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from the previous customer, I'll smell it and order from there."

A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath.

"Ah, yes that's what I'll have, meatloaf and mashed potatoes." Unbelievable, the owner says to himself as he walks towards the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner's wife and he tells her what had just happened. The blind man eats his meal and leaves. Several days later the blind man returns and the owner mistakenly brings him a menu again.

"Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man." "I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork." The owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man.

After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great, I take the Macaroni and cheese with broccoli. Once again walking away in disbelief, the owner things the blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in he's going to test him.

The blind man eats and leaves. He returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him coming and runs to the kitchen. He tells his wife, "Mary rub this fork around your vagina before I take it to the blind man." Mary complies and hands her husband the fork back.

As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting. "Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you." The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff and says, "Hey I didn't know that Mary worked here?"
Click to expand...

lmao
 
Its actually turtle soup.... but anyway


A blind man is involved in a plane wreck on a deserted isle. He is blinded during the wreck, and they are starving for a while, until one day a guy starts cooking a soup he said he made from turtle. They live on this turtle soup for a long time until they are finally rescued.

The blind guy goes into a restaurant many years later, and says wth, im going to have some turtle soup and he orders it. When he eats it, he realizes it tastes nothing like the soup he had before, and puts two and two together. Apparently he had been eating one of the dead people from the crash


 
A grizzly bear walks into a bar and says,
"I've had a really long day .................. I'd like a beer"
Bartender says,
"Sure but why the big paws"
 
Originally posted by: hevnsnt
Originally posted by: nakedfrog
Originally posted by: cKGunslinger

Um.. The guy was stranded on an deserted island for 20 years, with only pelicans to keep him company. He was very hungry, but wouldn't eat the pelicans because he thought they were poisonous, so he ate slime and snails for 20 years.

After he is rescued, he sees a bar that serves pelican soup. He eat's it and realizes that not only are pelicans not poisionous, they are absolutely delicious.

He shoots himself for being a retard for 20 years.

The end.


😕 Yeah, i have no idea what I'm talking about. It is the weekend yet? :beer: :beer:
Click to expand...

Good enough for me. Let's call it a wrap. Everybody go home!
Click to expand...

wow.. if you thought that all up on your own, I am impressed.. Seems like a feasable answer to me.
Click to expand...

LOL - just spewed out while waiting for the clock to tick down.

😕 Yeah, i have no idea what I'm talking about. It is the weekend yet? :beer: :beer:
 
ok, to answer the first riddle.

The man was previously on a cruise with his wife. The cruise ship crashed and only him, his wife and the captain survive. They are stranded on an island. So, when they get their they are hungry, and set out looking for food. The man stays behind and builds a shelter while his wife and the captain go hunting. The captain returns, but the wife does not. The captain informs the man that his wife died in a tragic hunting accident, but he did manage to kill some sea gulls. So they feast on their sea gull until they get rescued a few days later. Well the man enjoyed the sea gull so much that he decided to try it again. He goes into the bar, and orders a sea gull sandwich. After taking one bite he realises that what he had been eating on the island was not sea gull at all, it was infact his wife. Unable to life with that fact, he goes into the bathroom and shoots himself. /thread.
 
Originally posted by: illusion88
ok, to answer the first riddle.

The man was previously on a cruise with his wife. The cruise ship crashed and only him, his wife and the captain survive. They are stranded on an island. So, when they get their they are hungry, and set out looking for food. The man stays behind and builds a shelter while his wife and the captain go hunting. The captain returns, but the wife does not. The captain informs the man that his wife died in a tragic hunting accident, but he did manage to kill some sea gulls. So they feast on their sea gull until they get rescued a few days later. Well the man enjoyed the sea gull so much that he decided to try it again. He goes into the bar, and orders a sea gull sandwich. After taking one bite he realises that what he had been eating on the island was not sea gull at all, it was infact his wife. Unable to life with that fact, he goes into the bathroom and shoots himself. /thread.
Click to expand...

your response is stupid.
 
Originally posted by: hevnsnt
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. "I'm sorry sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from the previous customer, I'll smell it and order from there."

A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath.

"Ah, yes that's what I'll have, meatloaf and mashed potatoes." Unbelievable, the owner says to himself as he walks towards the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner's wife and he tells her what had just happened. The blind man eats his meal and leaves. Several days later the blind man returns and the owner mistakenly brings him a menu again.

"Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man." "I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork." The owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man.

After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great, I take the Macaroni and cheese with broccoli. Once again walking away in disbelief, the owner things the blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in he's going to test him.

The blind man eats and leaves. He returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him coming and runs to the kitchen. He tells his wife, "Mary rub this fork around your vagina before I take it to the blind man." Mary complies and hands her husband the fork back.

As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting. "Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you." The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff and says, "Hey I didn't know that Mary worked here?"
Click to expand...


Haha
 
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