A little Valentine's Day advice if you're planning to get busy...

[LiuKangBakinPie]

This is what ATOT calls "theoretical physics."

Getting a tactical nuke on Call of Duty is the best feeling in life.
Much better than having sex.

Probably.

 

[SagaLore]

Well, when you're married, it's like this:

You get into bed with a lot of excited anticipation. You put your arms around your wife, and then she asks if you remembered to lock the doors before you got in bed. You get up to check, and come back to discover she decided to take a shower first. 20-30 minutes go by while you watch some crappy Housewives of Atlanta show on TV, your wife comes out of the bathroom and she's immediately interested in the show. You wait another 20 minutes until the show is over and then put your arms around her again. You start kissing and then the news comes on with a story about how 50 puppies and kittens burned to death in an arson fire. Your wife immediately gets sad over the news and you start "losing attention." You turn the TV off, and 3 minutes later your kid bangs on your bedroom door saying something about "forgetting about a project I need done by tomorrow." You get dressed and run to Walmart at 11:30pm to buy arts and crafts crap so your kid can make a replica of an Egyptian sarcophagus and avoid getting an F. You get back into bed, and your wife is asleep. Then you go in the bathroom and crank one out so you can sleep as well.

And this, my friends, is what sex is like when you're married.

This is true.

 

[Kadarin]

You mean a jackhammer with a rubber cock mounted in the front?

One of these bad boys:

http://www.extremerestraints.com/popup.php?i=images/popups/tv400acloseup.jpg

 

[0roo0roo]

http://www.ted.com/talks/jenna_mccarthy_what_you_don_t_know_about_marriage.html

 

[LiuKangBakinPie]

One of these bad boys:

http://www.extremerestraints.com/popup.php?i=images/popups/tv400acloseup.jpg

haha lol

 

[Fritzo]

haha lol

We have one of those 😀

Anyway, last night we had some problems.

For dinner, we chose our favorite local Mexican restaurant. After stuffing ourselves too full, we both felt like we were 9 months pregnant and decided to take a rain check on any unfinished business.

Ugh, I'm still full. I may not eat again until Friday 🙁

 

[SagaLore]

Mexican restaurant

I'm sure this is going to produce some undesirable results in the near future as well. D:

 

[TecHNooB]

I went and bought some of this stuff last night to give it a try and just my luck, I ran into my father in law at the store and it was the only thing I had in my hand. The look he gave me after what he saw was priceless knowing that I was about to go lube up his baby girl.

:awe:

 

[LiuKangBakinPie]

We have one of those 😀

Anyway, last night we had some problems.

For dinner, we chose our favorite local Mexican restaurant. After stuffing ourselves too full, we both felt like we were 9 months pregnant and decided to take a rain check on any unfinished business.

Ugh, I'm still full. I may not eat again until Friday 🙁

Wait till the brown baby boy wants to come out. Hope you laid off the Taco sauce

 

[HydroSqueegee]

We have one of those 😀

Anyway, last night we had some problems.

For dinner, we chose our favorite local Mexican restaurant. After stuffing ourselves too full, we both felt like we were 9 months pregnant and decided to take a rain check on any unfinished business.

Ugh, I'm still full. I may not eat again until Friday 🙁

HAH! we went to Bob Evans since its kids eat free night. area was packed and we had a lovely view out the window of the nice firemen pulling an injured person from their car and loading them up on a stretcher (super exciting for 6 and 4 year olds).

Went home, got everyone to bed (even the 6 month old!) and had sexy fun time! timed it perfectly because the 6m old woke up shortly after. Woo!