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A Lesson Learned (A Stolen Joke)

Nikamichi

Diamond Member
Here's the story of an...

Atheist in the Woods

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7 foot grizzly charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again and the bear was even closer. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the atheist cried out: "Oh my God!"

Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky: "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps...could you make the BEAR a Christian?"

"Very well," said the voice. The light went out. And the sounds of the forest resumed. And then the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together and bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, Bless this food which I am about to recieve and for which I am truly thankful."

"Amen."

Count your Blessings!
 
Here's the true version of the story:
Here's the story of a...

Christian in the Woods

A Christian was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7 foot grizzly charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again and the bear was even closer. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the atheist cried out: "Oh my God!"

Nothing happened. God did not appear from the sky, stop time, save the man, or anything else. The bear killed him and ate him.

At his funeral, his family members repeatedly said things like, "God has a plan for us all", and "God is always watching over us", and other references to the power of the God that didn't help the victim of the bear attack, and NEVER shows up to help like in the "athiest" version of the story.
 
Originally posted by: notfred
Here's the true version of the story:
Here's the story of a...

Christian in the Woods

A Christian was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7 foot grizzly charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again and the bear was even closer. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the atheist cried out: "Oh my God!"

Nothing happened. God did not appear from the sky, stop time, save the man, or anything else. The bear killed him and ate him.

At his funeral, his family members repeatedly said things like, "God has a plan for us all", and "God is always watching over us", and other references to the power of the God that didn't help the victim of the bear attack, and NEVER shows up to help like in the "athiest" version of the story.

LOLOL:thumbsup:

 
Originally posted by: Nikamichi
Originally posted by: tm37
I got into a big pissing match a few years ago when I posted this joke.

Someone ended up getting banned.

:Q

That joke is sladerous to People who do not believe in god.

Then the offender went on to post a bunch of racial jokes.

They never came back after that that I can recal, 😉
 
Originally posted by: dudeman007
Originally posted by: notfred
Here's the true version of the story:
Here's the story of a...

Christian in the Woods

A Christian was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7 foot grizzly charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again and the bear was even closer. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the atheist cried out: "Oh my God!"

Nothing happened. God did not appear from the sky, stop time, save the man, or anything else. The bear killed him and ate him.

At his funeral, his family members repeatedly said things like, "God has a plan for us all", and "God is always watching over us", and other references to the power of the God that didn't help the victim of the bear attack, and NEVER shows up to help like in the "athiest" version of the story.

LOLOL:thumbsup:

Bwahahah! That's great stuff!
 
Originally posted by: notfred
Here's the true version of the story:
Here's the story of a...

Christian in the Woods

A Christian was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7 foot grizzly charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again and the bear was even closer. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the Christian cried out: "Oh my God!"

Nothing happened. God did not appear from the sky, stop time, save the man, or anything else. The bear killed him and ate him.

At his funeral, his family members repeatedly said things like, "God has a plan for us all", and "God is always watching over us", and other references to the power of the God that didn't help the victim of the bear attack, and NEVER shows up to help like in the "athiest" version of the story.

fixed.
 
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