A joke about vaseline

[Phokus]

Saw this on reddit, thought it was very clever:

A man doing market research knocked on a door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet. He says, "I'm doing research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?"
She says, "Yes. My husband and I use it all the time."
"And if you don't mind me asking, what do you use it for?"
"We use it for sex."
The researcher was a little taken back. "Usually people lie to me and say that they use it on a child's bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I admire you for your honesty. Since you've been frank so far, can you tell me exactly how you use it for sex?
The woman says, "I don't mind telling you at all, my husband and I put it on the bedroom door knob and it keeps the kids out."

Never thought i'd see a PG sex joke before

 

[ShawnD1]

This is why round door handles are illegal in the US. Not because of sex, but because relying on grip makes it easy to trap people in rooms.

 

[Phokus]

This is why round door handles are illegal in the US. Not because of sex, but because relying on grip makes it easy to trap people in rooms.

That's... not true at all?

 

[shortylickens]

He was also making a joke.

 

[Phokus]

He was also making a joke.

Didn't seem like it, oh well.

 

[ShawnD1]

That's... not true at all?

http://www.doorware.com/specials/help-center/door-hardware-ada-compliant.cfm

Important Tip: Always use a Door Lever rather than a Door Knob. Most door lever's are ADA compliant while a door knob is NOT.

It's actually a good law. I've had grease on the door knob in my parents house and I couldn't open the fucking door. It was ridiculous. Levers are nice because you can open them with your elbow or erect penis.

 

[pontifex]

http://www.doorware.com/specials/help-center/door-hardware-ada-compliant.cfm

It's actually a good law. I've had grease on the door knob in my parents house and I couldn't open the fucking door. It was ridiculous. Levers are nice because you can open them with your elbow or erect penis.

wtf is a door lever? I can't say I've ever seen one in my 32 years on this earth....

wait, you mean like this?
http://www.amazon.com/Kwikset-730TN..._1_3?s=hardware&ie=UTF8&qid=1355528674&sr=1-3

If so, then ignore my previous comment. i would call that a door handle, so i guess thats why i didn't understand at first.

 

[jagec]

This is why round door handles are illegal in the US. Not because of sex, but because relying on grip makes it easy to trap people in rooms.

Sometimes you really need to trap someone in a room and therefore appreciate the round handle.

 

[SagaLore]

Really really old joke. Surprised you hadn't heard it before.


And I don't get all the jokes involving vasoline. That stuff is way too viscous to be pleasant as a lubricant.

 

[Phokus]

http://www.doorware.com/specials/help-center/door-hardware-ada-compliant.cfm

It's actually a good law. I've had grease on the door knob in my parents house and I couldn't open the fucking door. It was ridiculous. Levers are nice because you can open them with your elbow or erect penis.

Oh, ok, for BUSINESSES... but that doesn't seem to have anything to do with your personal bedroom door handle

 

[Newbian]

http://www.doorware.com/specials/help-center/door-hardware-ada-compliant.cfm

It's actually a good law. I've had grease on the door knob in my parents house and I couldn't open the fucking door. It was ridiculous. Levers are nice because you can open them with your elbow or erect penis.

Just don't do it on a outside door this time of year or the poor guy may get stuck to it.

 

[techs]

wtf is a door lever? I can't say I've ever seen one in my 32 years on this earth....

wait, you mean like this?
http://www.amazon.com/Kwikset-730TNL...5528674&sr=1-3

If so, then ignore my previous comment. i would call that a door handle, so i guess thats why i didn't understand at first.

You can see them in many New England older homes. I tried googling and couldnt' find a good example but they look vaguely like this.

You lift it up and open the door. It locks when you close the door the angled metal lifts up the latch then it falls into the groove.

 

[andylawcc]

lol

 

[pontifex]

You can see them in many New England older homes. I tried googling and couldnt' find a good example but they look vaguely like this.

You lift it up and open the door. It locks when you close the door the angled metal lifts up the latch then it falls into the groove.

oh, ok, i have seen them then. didn't know what they were called. i would have called that a latch, not a lever, lol.

 

[SandEagle]

misleading title. joke not found

 

[disappoint]

 

[bigrash]

Where's the damn joke?

 

[rh71]

my dad's house he installed a circular dimmer switch for the BATHROOM that's very recessed into the housing. DAMNIT if I could ever turn that thing on or off after my hands are even a little moist.

 

[rh71]

anyway, I use a thin layer of vaseline on my eyelids before bed cause the winter dry air is ridiculous, even with a humidifier. If you google, I'm not alone. I've since switched to Eucerin, but it's only so good...