A Good View of Marriage

[Drekce]

With all of the marriage threads going around lately I thought I would add an opposing view...and hope for some of you "half empty" types.

I got married in May of 2001 (at 21 years old) just before the start of my senior year of college. In a couple of days my wife and I will celebrate our sixth anniversary. A lot has changed in the past six years...we have a two year old son, established careers, a nicer house, a lot more money and have become much closer.

The past six years have been the best of my life. I can honestly say that I am closer to, and love my wife more now than I ever have. We have had plenty of arguments, and I have slept on the couch many times, but the good FAR outweighs the bad. We are each other's best friends, and I don't see that changing. We have good communication and lots of fun together, which are both key to keeping things fresh. The sex is great (and often) and my wife is in just as good of shape as the day we got married, even after having a baby (thank God she loves to run).

We have had to adapt to each other's quirks and come up with creative solutions in those areas where we aren't always in agreement. I have had to learn to not be so controlling about money (though I have taught her to be a saver). We have agreed to never go grocery shopping together in order to remove a repetitive source of fights. (She could spend hundreds of dollars on clothes and it doesn't bother me as much as her buying groceries that I know we will never eat).

Are there areas where I would like her to be different? Sure, but instead of focusing on those I work around them.
I think that being in a good marriage is one of the best experiences that can be had in this life. It may not be for everyone, since it requires you to often put away selfishness, but I would not give it up for anything.

Obligatory pics

Wife (In the middle)
Son

 

[Rudee]

I graduated high school in 1984. Out of all my friends who married within 10 years of their graduation (1984 to 1994). Only 1 is still married to the same woman today. Those who did not marry until their 30's are doing a bit better. (only half of them are still married today). Overall, a shocking statistic. From what I have personally witnessed, it looks as though waiting until you are at least 30 gives you far better odds of staying happily married. But kudos to the OP.

 

[Homerboy]

:beer:
here-here!

Was 7 years back in January for us. Did we have rough spots? Of course and I'm sure we'll have many more. Then you get make-up sex!

 

[krunchykrome]

Congrats! :beer:

 

[Mo0o]

that kid is uber cute

 

[mooglekit]

:thumbsup: Congrats! My wife an I got married in Dec. '05, best decision of my life.

Cute kid, nice work

Sometimes the amount of negativity that pervades these forums and the national mindset is depressing...PSA: all things considered, life isn't that bad, and the world isn't any worse off than it has been in a long time...we just see a hell of a lot more of the bad stuff going on today than people used to thanks to media/internet coverage...

 

[Homerboy]

Originally posted by: Mo0o
that kid is uber cute

I was just going to edit my post to say that too.

 

[iRONic]

Originally posted by: Drekce
We have agreed to never go grocery shopping together in order to remove a repetitive source of fights. (She could spend hundreds of dollars on clothes and it doesn't bother me as much as her buying groceries that I know we will never eat).

Heh heh... Why do they do that?!

Congrats, and best luck for many more!

 

[ivol07]

Coming up on my 5th anniversary and I feel the same way. My wife and I are closer than ever, we're planning some big things in the next year (house, child) and are looking forward to many more years of happiness. Hooray for good marriages!

 

[Mursilis]

Thanks to the OP and everyone else for posting that they're HAPPILY married. That sort of news never gets old. And we're coming up on 10 years this August, happy as clams! 10 years and 4 kids later, with no regrets!

 

[sixone]

Congrats to all of you. :thumbsup:

 

[ValValline]

15 this September for the wife and me. Still best friends and lovers. Each year it gets better and better. Best decision I ever made (or will make) was asking her to marry me.

 

[Roguestar]

Dude you have a hot wife and it's still going strong = winner. :beer::thumbsup:

Wish you the best for more years to come.

 

[Darkstar757]

OMG your son is so cute!!!!!

Congrats man folks like you inspire me!

Cheers,
Darkstar757

 

[vi edit]

Originally posted by: Rudee
I graduated high school in 1984. Out of all my friends who married within 10 years of their graduation (1984 to 1994). Only 1 is still married to the same woman today. Those who did not marry until their 30's are doing a bit better. (only half of them are still married today). Overall, a shocking statistic. From what I have personally witnessed, it looks as though waiting until you are at least 30 gives you far better odds of staying happily married. But kudos to the OP.

There is some truth to that. You do a lot of mental maturing between the ages of 18 and your mid to late 20's. Your personality, opinions, outlooks, ect can make a complete flipflop as you go through that decade of your life. You could say the same thing about any decade you live, but it's nothing like the maturing you do from your late teens to your late 20's.

If you married when you are 18, you could be a completely different person by the time you are 30.

To make matters worse, it's during this time frame that you really have your first chance to handle your own finances. It's money that makes for one of the number reasons for breakups. When you don't have much (first real job) and don't know how to handle it (first time being asked to do so) it makes for some rough waters.

Some couples that get married early on can weather the storm, many can not.

 

[maddogchen]

cool

 

[RKS]

Congrats OP. Marriage does work once in a while.


My wife and I dated for about 7 years and will be married 7 this November (we were both in our late 20s). If I had lived with her before marriage I would not have been in for such a shock.

I learned she like to drink beer at home, only does laundry every other week, hasn't ironed anything in over 10 years, cooks about 2 meals a year, doesn't squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom, tries to make me eat tofu, banned bacon from our house, watches MTV, etc.

I told her I married her for her genes. I wanted someone athletic (D1 soccer), intelligent(couple Masters deg.) and who wouldn't fvck with my sleep or food.

We have some quarrels but we get along pretty well even after all this time and if we eat out I am allowed to get bacon. As a bonus we have 2 perfect boys.

 

[Roguestar]

Originally posted by: RKS
Congrats OP. Marriage does work once in a while.


My wife and I dated for about 7 years and will be married 7 this November (we were both in our late 20s). If I had lived with her before marriage I would not have been in for such a shock.

I learned she like to drink beer at home, only does laundry every other week, hasn't ironed anything in over 10 years, cooks about 2 meals a year, doesn't squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom, tries to make me eat tofu, banned bacon from our house, watches MTV, etc.

I told her I married her for her genes. I wanted someone athletic (D1 soccer), intelligent(couple Masters deg.) and who wouldn't fvck with my sleep or food.

We have some quarrels but we get along pretty well even after all this time and if we eat out I am allowed to get bacon. As a bonus we have 2 perfect boys.

Just for the record, why no bacon?

 

[djheater]

In 12 days I'll have been married 9 years.

I got my 20 yo GF pregnant and things went from there I was 22 btw.

Best thing that ever happened to me, we love each other very much, and have 3 great kids.

We're just now starting to escalate our careers, and our enjoying the new challenges, though not the stress so much.

 

[Yreka]

Congrats.

:beer: Heres to hoping your lives continue in the same direction.

 

[blackdogdeek]

as far as i know, marriage requires work. each person has to be committed to the relationship. we've both made compromises because we are two different people but we are each other's best friends so it's worth it. we have arguments, of course, but the good times occur much more often and are wonderful.

and now we have 2 angels to brighten (and challenge) our lives.

congrats to you OP :beer:

EDIT: our 6th anniversary is this november

 

[theprodigalrebel]

That kid is teh cuteness.

 

[AmigaMan]

awesome to hear. My wife and I will celebrate our 6th anniversary in August. Two days ago my wife gave birth to our twins. Life is good!

 

[dquan97]

Cute kid! Looks like he's about 2 or 3yrs old?

 

[JDub02]

I'm about to start my married life in July. It's nice to hear the positive stories once in a while. :thumbsup: