ive been dating my girlfriend for 2 years. we are both deeply in love, ya ya ya. She is just as smart as I am (high iq, good grades, ration thinker). but she is controlling! she wont bitch about who i hang out with or anything like that, but she'll get sad if i dont call her every single night, if i go to sleep before she wants to, if she thinks im not paying attention to her, all sorts of stuff like that. plus if we ever get in a major argument where one of us did something to make the other feel bad, it is always my fault or i get in trouble. its very difficult to talk to her about this because she gets hrut when i say things like how she should act. but advice is appriciated
a girlfriend question from me too
- Thread starter zerocomm
- Start date
i havent gotton more than 4 hours of the sleep in 3 days, total. i did get a 34 on my english section of my act
pillage2001
Lifer
- Sep 18, 2000
- 14,038
- 1
- 81
and I made a 36 on both reading and science reasoning. Big whoop. No one cares about SAT or ACT scores.
To answer your question, your girlfriend loves to play mind games with you and isn't serious abotu a stable relationship right now. Like Minendo said, insecurity rules this relationship.
DANGER WILL ROBINSON. DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!!!!!!
I had a girlfriend like this once. It only gets worse from here. She probably has a low self-esteem also. It's tough but if you really love her then things will work out.
Sealy
Platinum Member
- Aug 4, 2002
- 2,438
- 1
- 71
I do remember when you introduced yourself that you said you were 18 so I'm assuming that she is around that same age. You've been together since you were 16? Well take it from experience, this is a tough age to be in a very serious committed relationship. You especially, being a guy, are coming to an age where you can start being more indepedant and perhaps want to do more things with your friends and perhaps show some interest in other girls. Hey flirting is fun! At the age you're at that's what you should be worrying about, not about if you're making your girlfriend mad. I would not try and tell her how she should act...that just never goes well...and instead tell her how you feel about things. Be firm not beligerant. Tell her that you do love her very much and if you don't call her one night, it has absolutely nothing to do with those feelings. Tell her that if she really does love you, she'll understand that sometimes it's just as simple as needing to go to sleep! She's probably quite dependant on you because she is not happy with herself. Perhaps she does not have her own friends or hobbies to help fill her needs, that's why she clings to you! Hope any of this helps and feel free to take all or none of the above advice!
BD231
Lifer
- Feb 26, 2001
- 10,568
- 138
- 106
TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL!!! Dont tell her how to act, dont start any arguments and dont let her start one either, if she wants to argue just say "no, I'm not going through this again". Tell her that you love her deaply but she's being to demanding and it's stressing you out. The key to calming her down is making SURE she knows you love her deaply, go out of your way to show her how much you care and that should get her to "back up off the N-U-TEE's" a bit. She dose not sound controlling, she just sounds completely insecure with her feelings.
I agree with what most everyone says here needy clingy blah blah blah
So whatcha gonna do?
-Storm
So whatcha gonna do?
-Storm
shes definetly needy, but i wouldn't call it clingy. i know from the description she might sound like she has low self esteem, but it is quite the other. she is a strong capable women that just wants a lot of attention. my complaint is it is often too much. she is actually older than i, shes 19 and a 3rd year at college (she skipped a year). i just want to know if i can say anything so i don't have to come visit her for every weekend, call every night, blah blah blah. recently i told her i do more things for her than she does for me, and i got quite positive results- she drew a great picture of me, wrote me a letter and bought me a present. maybe mutual infatuation is an ok alternative
Sealy
Platinum Member
- Aug 4, 2002
- 2,438
- 1
- 71
Originally posted by: zerocomm
. year at college (she skipped a year). i just want to know if i can say anything so i don't have to come visit her for every weekend, call every night, blah blah blah.
Like I said earlier, just tell her that..."I love you honey, but I don't need to come see you every weekend" or
"I love you honey, but I don't need to call you every night" or
"I love you honey, but there are times when I want to do things by myself or with my friends"
If you tell her this is important to you, and she loves you, she'll understand and back down.
you can't just use the phrase "i love you" as a shield, but i do understand your point, i just might need to rephrase. i guess part of it is i don't want to alienate her, i like her how she is now -minus a couple issues, and i don't want her over censoring herself, it would be too much guilt. maybe i just need to live with it all
most chicks are like this, they're like pets pretty much, kinda cool to be with, great sex, but they need attention all the time or they whine
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