Brutuskend
Lifer
Two girls were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Sally said, "I didn't sleep with my husband before we got married, Did you?"
Lynn replied, "I'm not sure, What is his name again?"
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A little girl went up to her mother and asked: "Mom, where did all of my intelligence come from?"
The mother replied. "Well dear, you must have got it from your father, cause I still have mine"
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"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce Court Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week," "That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself,"
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A doctor examined a man, took the wife aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your husband at all." "Me neither doc," said the wife. "But he's a great provier and really good with the kids."
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An old woman goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse she has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.
The old woman says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
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Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder
1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.
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Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
"How was he killed?" asked one detective.
"With a golf gun," the other detective replied.
"A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?"
"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."
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This young woman has been sitting in a bar all night, staring at a blonde wearing the tightest pants she's ever seen. Finally her curiosity gets the best of her, so she walks over and asks, "How do you get into those pants?" The young man looks her over and replies, "Well, you could start by buying me a drink."
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Maxine: "My husband got me to believe in religion."
Josie: "Really?"
Maxine: "Yeah. Until I married him I didn't believe in hell."
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A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling.
"I'm O.K. but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery," he answered. "What did he say," asked the nurse."OOPS!"
Lynn replied, "I'm not sure, What is his name again?"
------------------------------------
A little girl went up to her mother and asked: "Mom, where did all of my intelligence come from?"
The mother replied. "Well dear, you must have got it from your father, cause I still have mine"
----------------------------
"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce Court Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week," "That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself,"
-----------------------------------
A doctor examined a man, took the wife aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your husband at all." "Me neither doc," said the wife. "But he's a great provier and really good with the kids."
---------------------------------
An old woman goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse she has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.
The old woman says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
----------------------------
Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder
1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.
-----------------------------------
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
"How was he killed?" asked one detective.
"With a golf gun," the other detective replied.
"A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?"
"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."
-----------------------------------
This young woman has been sitting in a bar all night, staring at a blonde wearing the tightest pants she's ever seen. Finally her curiosity gets the best of her, so she walks over and asks, "How do you get into those pants?" The young man looks her over and replies, "Well, you could start by buying me a drink."
------------------------------
Maxine: "My husband got me to believe in religion."
Josie: "Really?"
Maxine: "Yeah. Until I married him I didn't believe in hell."
-----------------------------------
A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling.
"I'm O.K. but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery," he answered. "What did he say," asked the nurse."OOPS!"
