NuclearNed
Raconteur
Dear Smokers,
I have an enormous amount of respect for the rights that have been granted to you as Americans. Generations of smokers have long, proud histories of exercising their freedoms of both smelling like an industrial accident and mercilessly raping their health. I say “Bravo!” I wouldn’t have it any other way. No government agency or group of people should ever be able to dictate how a person’s life should be lived, so long as the person isn’t infringing on the rights of others.
This is where there is a problem. I think we may have a slight disagreement about the words “No Smoking”, specifically in reference to rental cars. On my side of the aisle, we believe that “No” strongly suggests that no more than zero lit cigarettes should be in the vehicle at any given time. While we respect your need to satisfy your deadly oral fixation as often as possible, we are convinced that cracking a window is not a viable solution for preventing noxious fumes from making a car permanently stink (chronic farters of the world, take note).
Please, don’t smoke in non-smoking rental cars.
Sincerely,
NuclearNed
********************************************
Dear Rental Car Company,
The other day when I rented a car from your website, I took particular care to make sure I rented a non-smoking vehicle. When I arrived to pick up the car, I noticed a prominently hung sign proudly declaring “All vehicles are non-smoking.” Finally, your helpful clerk had me initial a space on the contract that warned me to either not smoke or face a penalty. I’m assuming all your clients go through the same process. Despite that, the interior of my vehicle smelled like the inside of the Marlboro Man’s long-removed trachea.
Or at least it would have smelled that way, had it not been for quick thinking on the part of one of your employees. His liberal and creative use of a couple of bottles of Febreze replaced my desire to hurl from the overwhelming reek of cigarettes with new ideas in how to deal with offensive odors. From now on, instead of giving a mess a proper cleaning, I’m going to follow your lead and saturate it with Febreze, thus eliminating the problem. This should work especially well the next time I accidentally take a dump in the back seat of one of your vehicles.
Thank you for the insight.
Sincerely,
NuclearNed
Thread Necro
Anandtech Admin
Red Dawn
I have an enormous amount of respect for the rights that have been granted to you as Americans. Generations of smokers have long, proud histories of exercising their freedoms of both smelling like an industrial accident and mercilessly raping their health. I say “Bravo!” I wouldn’t have it any other way. No government agency or group of people should ever be able to dictate how a person’s life should be lived, so long as the person isn’t infringing on the rights of others.
This is where there is a problem. I think we may have a slight disagreement about the words “No Smoking”, specifically in reference to rental cars. On my side of the aisle, we believe that “No” strongly suggests that no more than zero lit cigarettes should be in the vehicle at any given time. While we respect your need to satisfy your deadly oral fixation as often as possible, we are convinced that cracking a window is not a viable solution for preventing noxious fumes from making a car permanently stink (chronic farters of the world, take note).
Please, don’t smoke in non-smoking rental cars.
Sincerely,
NuclearNed
********************************************
Dear Rental Car Company,
The other day when I rented a car from your website, I took particular care to make sure I rented a non-smoking vehicle. When I arrived to pick up the car, I noticed a prominently hung sign proudly declaring “All vehicles are non-smoking.” Finally, your helpful clerk had me initial a space on the contract that warned me to either not smoke or face a penalty. I’m assuming all your clients go through the same process. Despite that, the interior of my vehicle smelled like the inside of the Marlboro Man’s long-removed trachea.
Or at least it would have smelled that way, had it not been for quick thinking on the part of one of your employees. His liberal and creative use of a couple of bottles of Febreze replaced my desire to hurl from the overwhelming reek of cigarettes with new ideas in how to deal with offensive odors. From now on, instead of giving a mess a proper cleaning, I’m going to follow your lead and saturate it with Febreze, thus eliminating the problem. This should work especially well the next time I accidentally take a dump in the back seat of one of your vehicles.
Thank you for the insight.
Sincerely,
NuclearNed
Thread Necro
Anandtech Admin
Red Dawn
Last edited by a moderator:
