I truly hope that you are right but ask yourself if you are being truly objective. You WANT to beleive, and you EGO wants to beleive her, so you do. I've been around a lot longer than most here and have been in similar situations. I wanted to beleive them so I did but in the end my deepest suspicions were correct. Your youth and idealism are showing and I sure hope the cold hand of reality doesn't knock you off that pedestal. Good luck, I hope she is telling you the truth and you can work this out.
I truly hope that you are right but ask yourself if you are being truly objective. You WANT to beleive, and you EGO wants to beleive her, so you do. I've been around a lot longer than most here and have been in similar situations. I wanted to beleive them so I did but in the end my deepest suspicions were correct. Your youth and idealism are showing and I sure hope the cold hand of reality doesn't knock you off that pedestal. Good luck, I hope she is telling you the truth and you can work this out.
Originally posted by: TLfromAI
You did inform her that she owes you BIG TIME right?? Get some road head on the guilt trip.
I'm not interested in a guilt trip. I want opinions on how this would affect the relationship.
I'm sorry, I didn't realize this was true. I thought it was one of the typical ATOT stupid questions of the week. That said, why aren't you talking to her about it? It doesn't matter what any of us think, it matters how you feel, in your heart. I mean, are you really this laid back over your wife getting fondled by two different men? I think someone may be in a bit of denial here, or else you are just alot better of a person than I am.
Personally, if my spouse told me he was getting fondled by two other people, the only fondling he would be getting from me is a swift kick in the nuts, and the sweet sound of the door hitting him in the ass on the way out. But thats just me.
Personally, if my spouse told me he was getting fondled by two other people, the only fondling he would be getting from me is a swift kick in the nuts, and the sweet sound of the door hitting him in the ass on the way out. But thats just me.
Originally posted by: justint
Originally posted by: TLfromAI
You did inform her that she owes you BIG TIME right?? Get some road head on the guilt trip.
I'm not interested in a guilt trip. I want opinions on how this would affect the relationship.
I don't necessarilly think it is a good thing...but it has been done. Needless to say a line has been crossed.
it's a 10 to me.
why are u posting here instead of regulating?
maybe that's the problem too -- that you're paying attention to the internet instead of your wife.
why are u posting here instead of regulating?
maybe that's the problem too -- that you're paying attention to the internet instead of your wife.
I just spent several hours on the phone with her regarding this. She is not stateside yet so no regulating possible. I can't exactly talk to people I know about this, so I turn to you ATOT folks.
Al Gore is a beautiful boy but he'll say anything to get you in the sack. Just thought I'd throw in that SNL quote since we are talking about the internet and Al Gore invented it.
ok i take it back then...
i think this is a pretty serious thing that u have to deal with.
being drunk is no excuse for being stupid. don't take that as an excuse.
i'm not married, but i've been w/my woman for over 7 years...boy would the shiznit hit the fan if that happened to us!
i think this is a pretty serious thing that u have to deal with.
being drunk is no excuse for being stupid. don't take that as an excuse.
i'm not married, but i've been w/my woman for over 7 years...boy would the shiznit hit the fan if that happened to us!
I've been married for 7 years. There are a few people making jokes here and that's fine. No harm, but here's my more serious reply.
She obviously can't be trusted. I'd be wondering how many times it happened before. She had to have known after the first incident that what she did was wrong, but obviously didn't care and went off and did it again with someone else. I don't know if it calls for divorce, but it damn sure calls for some time apart. My wife would be out the door and she'd do the same to me. Going off and banging one of her friends might make you feel better, but it won't help out in the long run. It'll only make things worse.
You're in an unenviable position. First, I'd send her packin', then put the ball in her court (no pun intended) and see what she does to try to earn your trust.
She obviously can't be trusted. I'd be wondering how many times it happened before. She had to have known after the first incident that what she did was wrong, but obviously didn't care and went off and did it again with someone else. I don't know if it calls for divorce, but it damn sure calls for some time apart. My wife would be out the door and she'd do the same to me. Going off and banging one of her friends might make you feel better, but it won't help out in the long run. It'll only make things worse.
You're in an unenviable position. First, I'd send her packin', then put the ball in her court (no pun intended) and see what she does to try to earn your trust.
Originally posted by: BigFatCow
Screw AL Whore, bill gates invented the internet
Bill Gates doesn't invent things...he "borrows" them.
Originally posted by: BigFatCow
Originally posted by: TLfromAI
Originally posted by: BigFatCow
Screw AL Whore, bill gates invented the internet
Bill Gates doesn't invent things...he "borrows" them.
i think i might go watch pirates of silicon valley...
Hey have they made new games for the Apple since '84??
I'd tell her she's gonna have to give a lot of blow jobs without spitting to make this up to me.
<--- Married for 10 years.
She definitely crossed a line. There's nothing "passive" about what she did, nor is drinking a decent excuse.
I'm not saying that you should dump her, smack her, or get even with her. That's your own decision and a bunch of ATOT'ers cannot help you in that decision.
Just don't make excuses for her behavior.
She definitely crossed a line. There's nothing "passive" about what she did, nor is drinking a decent excuse.
I'm not saying that you should dump her, smack her, or get even with her. That's your own decision and a bunch of ATOT'ers cannot help you in that decision.
Just don't make excuses for her behavior.
Muadib
Lifer
- May 30, 2000
- 18,120
- 910
- 126
I'm not married, but I've been with my gf for 6 years, and I would give this a 7 on the serious scale. You have several issues to deal with when you wife asap..
Number one is the drinking. You must get her to stop doing it while she's away. I'm always amazed how much some people change when they're away from home and get a little booze in them. Heck I know 2 people who dumped their spouses for people they met on business trips, and those trips were only for a few weeks, not months.
Number two is having more contact while she's gone. Call her several times a day so she's thinking about getting back to you. Can you visit her on weekends or something?
Now there may or may not be a number three, only you can answer that. But if your relationship had problems, this could be her way of telling you to wake the f@#! up! Good luck.
Number one is the drinking. You must get her to stop doing it while she's away. I'm always amazed how much some people change when they're away from home and get a little booze in them. Heck I know 2 people who dumped their spouses for people they met on business trips, and those trips were only for a few weeks, not months.
Number two is having more contact while she's gone. Call her several times a day so she's thinking about getting back to you. Can you visit her on weekends or something?
Now there may or may not be a number three, only you can answer that. But if your relationship had problems, this could be her way of telling you to wake the f@#! up! Good luck.
The question I have is why did she tell you. How did you find out. It's not that I'm curious. It's that that seems significant to me. Everybody knows, I think, and as much as I find the notion distasteful, that you should never tell. So why did she tell. What was her motive. I can think of a couple. She may not be able to live comfortably with the feeling that she screwed up and needs to tell you to get back some sense of personal integrity, or maybe she's looking to see if maybe you'll dump her so she doesn't have to feel the guilt of dumping you. We all feel so bad about ourselves that it can be a real intoxication to know we're attractive to people. Everybody thinks that they can only be filled up from the outside. Marriage always takes place between people with such stupendous childish needs tha accidents are bound to happen.
I'd work it into the next conversation about having a threesome with another woman. Guilt is great.
"You won't have a threesome? Remember that time..."
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