7th Grade History Teacher: Inappropriate?

[DurocShark]

For those that don't know what I mean by his school, here's a crappy website they have up: Oxford Academy

It's a public school ONLY for the top 25 students from each Jr High School. Students must have teacher recommendations, and pass an exam and essay for qualification. Needless to say, we were thrilled that he was accepted. So we're reluctant to switch schools. I truly believe this is an individual teacher issue. None of his other teachers has asked for money or had any problems. He's in groups in his Science and Spanish classes with no problems.

Riprorin: You're an ignorant fool who needs to see what is out there. Explore some links and you will see that 40-60% of AD*D children have above average intelligence (numbers vary depending on how the intelligence is measured). I personally believe that the cause of AD*D also frees up parts of the mind that are normally tightly controlled. (The * is for the different flavors of ADD. My son actually has the "H" for Hyperactive and also the "I" for Impulsive... To me they're the same, and I just stick with the "H" for my son.)

My son is most certainly NOT spoiled, except as a typical only child is... Hanging with adults more than kids basically. He does great with kids MUCH older or MUCH younger than him. But he has trouble relating to kids in his age group because of a lack of exposure. Not really related to his ADHD so much as just his environment.

So, Riprorin, you're telling me you, at 12 years old, NEVER tried to dodge homework? Never felt out of place? This class I'm having issues with is ONLY with one teacher. So he's doing just fine with the other 6 classes! Obviously this ONE teacher can't teach my child. I don't pay taxes to be catered to. But I DO expect teachers to be able to address the needs of different children. Believe it or not, Riprorin, not everyone is perfect like you!

 

[Tab]

I've had alot of problems when I was in Grade School and Junior High. I think I have ADD? Anyway, dont do what my parents did. Pull your son out of that class now and get him a new teacher, if they dont listen bring a voice recorder to all the meetings and a lovely lawyer. My mom actually had to do the voice recorder part Bottom line, dont put your kid with a fscking crappy teacher like that. I would go smack talk her and yank him out of the class.

Riprorin, go STFU. Did you even read what he posted? I bet this guy's kid is fscking smarter than you.

 

[Riprorin]

I don't think I'm perfect - far from it. What does that have to do with anything anyway?

There's a lot of doctors and psychologists that think ADHD is a made-up disease and I tend to agree with them.

Can you explain why you didn't think it was a problem when your son was told to join a group and he didn't?

Personally, when my kids teachers say that they did something wrong, I believe them. And, I support them by disciplining the kids at home.

Did you ever consider giving the teacher the benefit of the doubt rather than making excuses for your kid?

What's he going to do when he gets in the real world and there's no one around to coddle him?

 

[flxnimprtmscl]

Originally posted by: Riprorin
My take:

Give me a break. And your son deserves special attention because...? Apparently, you think the world exists to cater to you.

"My son isn't the most social kid in school". Translation: he's a social misfit who has no interpersonal skills.

He was told to join a group and he didn't and you don't see the problem. WTF, the problem is HE DIDN'T DO WHAT HE WAS TOLD TO DO!

ADD, ADHD, blah. Sounds like your kid's problem is that he is a spoiled brat.

Why are you pestering the teacher to get information about your son's projects and assignments? He's in 7th grade and he's advanced. Can't he figure it out for himself?

Parents like you is what drives teachers out of education.

Not to be rude to the OP but I agree with some of this.

To the OP: I'm not a parent so I don't know all of what it's like to raise a child but I do know this; you may think having a teacher hold your childs hand and walk him through becoming socially acceptable is good for him but it isn't. Social skills can't be taught. A teacher forcing students to accept a child will never make him be accepted, etc. Figure it out.

 

[MillionaireNextDoor]

Originally posted by: PipBoy
Requiring kids to pay for extra credit should be enough to get her fired. BTW, wtf kind of school is it that half the kids are on behavior modification drugs??

Sounds like Letters of Indulgences from back in the Martin Luther days. How about writing up 95 theses and posting it up on the doors of the academy? Oh and bring the press.

 

[AvesPKS]

Originally posted by: Riprorin
I'm sick of all the teacher bashing here.

Doesn't anyone take the side of a teacher?

If my kids act up at school I expect:

a. the teacher to reprimand them.

b. the teacher to notify me so I can reprimand them at home.

I did. My aunt was a public school teacher for over 20 years and mainstreaming drove her out of public schools and into a private school where she doesn't have to put up with this kind of stuff. Again, just offering a different perspective.

 

[Pliablemoose]

Originally posted by: Riprorin
I don't think I'm perfect - far from it. What does that have to do with anything anyway?

There's a lot of doctors and psychologists that think ADHD is a made-up disease and I tend to agree with them.

Can you explain why you didn't think it was a problem when your son was told to join a group and he didn't?

Personally, when my kids teachers say that they did something wrong, I believe them. And, I support them by disciplining the kids at home.

Did you ever consider giving the teacher the benefit of the doubt rather than making excuses for your kid?

What's he going to do when he gets in the real world and there's no one around to coddle him?

Dude, I don't know a single doctor or psychologist that thinks ADD is a made up disease, you don't know WTF you're talking about.

I know (personally) >100 physicians and about 20 psychologists, and ~100 psychiatrists

I have 2 kids in school, one gifted, and one with ADD.

I've spent hours in special meetings, and days having the ADD kid tested & working to find the right stimulant coctail for her.

 

[Riprorin]

And you've discussed this with each and every one of them?

I bet your the life of the party!

 

[Ameesh]

I think your son needs to take some initiative. Just cause he has ADHD doesn't mean he deserves special treatment everywhere he goes. He needs to learn to function otherwise history is not the only thing he is gonna fail.

 

[Pliablemoose]

Originally posted by: Riprorin
And you've discussed this with each and every one of them?

I bet your the life of the party!

I'n an RN & work in a teaching hospital, you lost your point & attack me? Do some damn research & stop talking out of your a$$...

ADHD/ADHD is a legitimate diagnosis, and it's real, measurable as CPU speeds...

 

[flot]

Well I'm not sure what to say about the extra credit and paying for scantrons part... but that specifically is an issue that you can and should address with the teacher and the principal together, since it is a very specific concern and can be easily evaluated/resovled.

As for working one day a week... well I don't think your son's teacher should be venting her personal problems to the class like that, but the more I think of it I do recall a handful of teachers saying the same sorts of things back when I was in school... these ARE 7th graders after all, they certainly are old enough to understand basic concepts like the state screwing teachers on salary. If your son was in the 1st/2nd grade where he could end up with some wierd perception of the world it'd be different.

As for telling your son he better get in a group or else.. welcome to tough love. I recall no shortage of similar ultimatums given to myself or classmates when I was in school. This is called "you're in 7th grade, time to buck up and take some responsibility for yourself." Because honestly - if he doesn't do it this year, he won't do it next year.. and if he doesn't do it next year he won't do it in high school.. then he won't do it in college... and eventually, assuming he's smart, he'll graduate college and get a job, and will end up as a social misfit who goes to work at 9 goes home at 5, and sits alone at home wondering why he's never gotten a promotion and why the guys didn't invite him out to happy hour.

I do understand your point of view.. and it DOES sound like the teacher is doing some things that could use some correction.. but in the specific issue with your son and groups... that is a trend that can easily continue throughout his life - you should encourage him to try to solve it on his own.

 

[johnjohn320]

Originally posted by: Riprorin
And you've discussed this with each and every one of them?

I bet your the life of the party!

I bet you need to shut the fvck up and stop offering your uneducated opinion as though you were a goddamn doctor.

 

[Riprorin]

Originally posted by: Pliablemoose

Originally posted by: Riprorin
And you've discussed this with each and every one of them?

I bet your the life of the party!

I'n an RN & work in a teaching hospital, you lost your point & attack me? Do some damn research & stop talking out of your a$$...

ADHD/ADHD is a legitimate diagnosis, and it's real, measurable as CPU speeds...

I'm just attacking your assertion that you're right because you know a lot of people in the medical profession.

At the very least, ADD is way, way over diagnosed.

Here's a quote from an ADD expert that I tend to agree with:

"A lot of what is diagnosed and medicated in the U.S. as ADD or, especially, as ADHD is simply normal childhood behavior."

 

[Danman]

That is totally uncalled for. My brother had the same problem with his 7th grade Math teacher because she was a fat b!tch and did not care if the class did bad. I think 3/4ths of the class were failing or getting D's in her class. My parents went to the principal and administration SEVERAL times until finally she quit. She hurt my brother in the long run, she did not teach him anything and he suffers from that. Yet, he is doing his best now and doing good.

 

[dabuddha]

Seriously that sh!t would not fly when it comes to my kids. Forget email and calling. March down to the school and demand a meeting with her and the principal as well as the school counselor.

 

[Riprorin]

Kids and parents are always right and teachers are aways wrong.

Or so it is Anandtech land.

 

[CanOWorms]

Originally posted by: Riprorin
Kids and parents are always right and teachers are aways wrong.

Or so it is Anandtech land.

Usually people on AT rally behind teachers just as they rally behind police officers. Maybe it means something if they're not doing so this time.

 

[Yossarian]

Originally posted by: Riprorin
Kids and parents are always right and teachers are aways wrong.

Or so it is Anandtech land.

And there's always one jackass who thinks he's smarter than everyone else. More truths of Anandtech land.

 

[Riprorin]

Originally posted by: CanOWorms

Originally posted by: Riprorin
Kids and parents are always right and teachers are aways wrong.

Or so it is Anandtech land.

Usually people on AT rally behind teachers just as they rally behind police officers. Maybe it means something if they're not doing so this time.

ATers rallying behind teachers? Are you serious?

I've never ever seen that here.

In all of these types of threads, no one ever supports the teacher.

 

[DurocShark]

Originally posted by: Riprorin

Originally posted by: Pliablemoose

Originally posted by: Riprorin
And you've discussed this with each and every one of them?

I bet your the life of the party!

I'n an RN & work in a teaching hospital, you lost your point & attack me? Do some damn research & stop talking out of your a$$...

ADHD/ADHD is a legitimate diagnosis, and it's real, measurable as CPU speeds...

I'm just attacking your assertion that you're right because you know a lot of people in the medical profession.

At the very least, ADD is way, way over diagnosed.

Here's a quote from an ADD expert that I tend to agree with:

"A lot of what is diagnosed and medicated in the U.S. as ADD or, especially, as ADHD is simply normal childhood behavior."

I used to feel that way about my son. From 1st grade until 4th grade, we tried changing his behavior ourselves. In 4th grade, know what finally got us to start with the medications? One day I was with him trying to get him through his backlog of homework, and I could see him TRYING to focus and TRYING to do his work, but part of his mind would run off. He'd get so frustrated and confused. As a father, watching all these things race across his face and through his eyes was the final straw. We made an appointment the next day for a pshyciatrist.

We spent 4 years telling ourselves that it was just being a kid. That what the schools had been telling us for 4 years was just so much bullcrap. I'll tell you right now, the light in his eyes when he accomplishes things on his own without being ridden by us or a teacher is enough to power the state of California for weeks. It certainly lights my heart.

I have noticed that the first things schools say when kids misbehave ("act out" is the trendy term) is to put the kid on meds. When in reality the first thing to do is have the family work on structuring the childs life, and changing his/her diet from cokes and cookies to meats and veggies and fruit juice. Guarantee a difference will be seen. We even saw one just with the diet changes. But it was very small, and not enough to help him be successful in life.

We went through the cocktails ourselves. STarted with ritalin in varying doses. Found that adding an anti-psychotic (Zyprexa) to the stimulants made a huge difference in his social skills and in balancing his moods. (He was also suffering from depression, very common in ADD children.) We switched to Concerta because it's a time release amphetamine that doesn't have the 2 rushes per day a kid gets from dual daily doses of ritalin. That was great, but the stimulants always showed a major side effect: suppression of personality.

A coupla months ago a new medication came out: Strattera. It's a non-amphetamine based drug for treating ADD. 60mg daily is nearly as effective as the full Concerta doses we were giving him a year ago. But his personality (and appetite) is back!!! He's my son again!!! We used to have medication "vacations" so we could have him once in a while. But now that's not necessary. It's awesome.

I don't like teacher bashing. That's why it's been weeks of trying to work with this teacher before we even went to the counselor. My wife went to school to teach, and did some teaching in college. So we do know a little about what they have to go through, and California's budget DOES suck for teachers.

My issues are with the money and with her refusal to talk to us. If she wants him to do his homework, she needs to ANSWER our questions about it. If I e-mail (or call or whatever) a teacher and say that my son is having problems with the homework and want to know exactly what is expected of him, I expect to be told just that. "Pages 4-5 and a summary" or whatever. Just tell me so I can help the teacher! If she can't tell me, then I can't help her by keeping my son "on task" (another ugly trendy term). But if she can't tell me, all I can do is say "I dunno".

(Funny side note: Found out she jumped on my son for pronouncing Byzantine properly.. She mispronounced it and said her way was right... My son just agreed and shut up, but was cracking up when I saw him tonight. He said the whole class laughed about it afterwards. Just a clue as to what her teaching style is like... LoL)

 

[LongCoolMother]

take it up to the principal, definately. most 7th grade teachers are full of it anyway. (from my experiences, only).

 

[PatboyX]

thats not right.

 

[Riprorin]

Originally posted by: PipBoy

Originally posted by: Riprorin
Kids and parents are always right and teachers are aways wrong.

Or so it is Anandtech land.

And there's always one jackass who thinks he's smarter than everyone else. More truths of Anandtech land.

Maybe the kid is only having problems with this one teacher because she's the only one that holds the kid accountable for his actions.

I thought ATers were a critical and skeptical lot?

So sorry if I didn't jump on the bandwagon and immediately take the side of a parent rather than a teacher when I'm getting a one sided account.

My read of the situation is that the kid didn't do what he was told (to join a group) and the parent is making excuses for him and blaming the teacher.

Given the limited amount I know, I tend to side with the teacher.

 

[Riprorin]

Duroc Shark,

I'm glad things are working out for your son. I've read a little about Ritalin and apparently it acts on the same receptor sites as cocaine. When given a choice, primates will take Ritalin over cocaine. No way I would ever put my kids on that stuff. It sounds like you've found a better medication.

Personally, I won't take a pharmaceutical product until I've exhausted all other avenues such as diet and vitamins/nutrients. You may want to explore that approach.

Make sure your son gets enough sleep. I have a 7 year old son and a 9 year old daughter and when they don't get enough sleep, especially my daugher, they are really hard to handle.

 

[Cerb]

Originally posted by: DurocShark
Cliff Notes at the bottom

My son has started 7th grade at an advanced middle/high school. He (like me) has ADHD and is (unlike me) on medication... Strattera. It helps..

anyway, his 7th grade history teacher and he have been having some wars...

My son isn't the most social kid in school, and when his class was told to form groups, he ended up without one. I didn't see a problem, and told him to ask the teacher for help. He did and she told him it was his problem, but he'd better get in a group since the 7 projects due this year MUST be done in a group. WTF? Now, he's embarrassed and so won't make an effort to do it. The teacher is being just as childish and refusing to help... So he's gonna flunk History if this continues...

That sucks. Really...if he has to be in a group then it is her problem and she should have formed the groups. if he's not in one, he should fail because of doing substandard work, work that should have more people working on it, not because he didn't go into a group.

She also talks about the school district's budget problems, and to help is demanding kids pay for their own ScanTron forms (the bubble sheets kids fill out for tests),

WTF!? That's time for a talk w/ the head honcho.

pay a "fee" to be able to do extra credit, and is explaining how the school isn't paying her enough, so one week a month she will be working another job and leaving a substitute there. She's apparently very excited about this job too and talks about it constantly.

That's not a teacher, that's an evil imposter. I went to a private school when I was a kid...they got paid much less than public school teachers did.

My wife and I have e-mailed her many times asking for help and specific information about homework and projects, and we're constantly brushed off. We've tried to make appointments with the counselor and are told she's busy and to leave a message. we get no call backs.

It turns out that the teacher just got out of college in 1999, and has little or no experience with kids in general, let alone the "advanced" kids in this school, which is obvious when you consider her lack of organization and condsideration of ADD kids. (BTW: She said there are no ADD kids in this school except my son, but the school nurse said at least half of the kids there are on ritalin or a similar drug... sheesh)

Both of those numbers are sad.

Is it just me or is this teacher (and possibly the counselor's) behavior inappropriate for a school? If we have no results by the end of this week, the principal and the school council will be contacted... But I shouldn't have to go that far just to get some communication with the friggin teacher.

Hah! If you think it's that easy, come down to the center of Georgia and try to get anything done. Oh, they'll meet, but next time they will have lost the paperwork. Whoops. It starts at the top, I'm afraid.

Cliff Notes
Son in 7th grade at an advanced (GATE/honors) school
History teacher refuses to help my son
My son has ADHD and needs speicfic instructions and occasional assistance with social skills
Teacher charges kids money for inappropriate things
Discusses her "night" job that is affecting her teaching
Refuses to answer questions both by my son and myself
School counselor always too "busy" to meet

Suck it up and deal with it. get him early admission into a relatively good but cheap college around you. They get $$$ directly from you (and maybe him if he's got a job by then), and so they listen and work.