7 Things I Learned Reading Every Issue Of ISIS's Magazine

[norseamd]

Sun Tzu, generally considered a reliable source on Good War Ideas, said something along the lines of, "You've got to know your enemy in order to beat him, because some dudes hate being kicked in the junk and others seem to enjoy it." The difficulty we've had defeating ISIS suggests that, maybe, we don't really understand who and what the fuck they are. Everything we hear is filtered through politicians and pundits, each with their own agenda ("You know what ISIS is afraid of? Me, Donald Goddamned Trump!"). Fortunately, it turns out that finding out what ISIS wants is like finding out what a vegan eats: They'll tell you. Which is to say that ISIS has a magazine.

No, really. It's an actual glossy, full-color magazine called Dabiq, complete with feature articles and photo spreads. So, in the interest of understanding just what makes these violent lunatics tick, I read through 700-plus pages of this oddly well-put-together propaganda and learned ...

#7. The Islamic State's Official Publication Is Pretty Slick

#6. They Are Very Honest About Some Things

#5. They Are Unbelievably Media-Savvy

#4. Violent Reprisals Are Exactly What They Want

#3. Here's What Scares ISIS

#2. They Consider The U.S. A Reliable Source Of Weapons

#1. We Don't Really Understand How ISIS Sees The World

http://www.cracked.com/blog/isis-wants-us-to-invade-7-facts-revealed-by-their-magazine/

 

[senseamp]

Looks like Fox News.

 

[Newell Steamer]

ISIS is currently spending around half of their revenue just paying their soldiers.

Call me naive, but I thought these guys were in on this, as a result of their extremism - as in, they do the robbing/killing for Allah, not money.

Also, ISIS soldiers are jacked up on drugs.

I wouldn't even really call these guys zealots. Just a bunch of doped up drug addicts looking for money and murder.

 

[Matthiasa]

First it is always about money and or influence, soldiers are not as effective when morale is low due to lacking for basic necessities of food and shelter. Even if not paying with cash those two things are not cheap. Then there is non captured weapons and munitions that are acquired which again are not cheap.

The Koran is actually against the use of mind altering substances, which is how alcohol became forbidden.

 

[Atreus21]

#4. Violent Reprisals Are Exactly What They Want

I wonder if we start giving signs that "horrible terrorist attacks on civilians are exactly what we want", then the terrorists might leave us alone at last.

 

[tracerbullet]

I wonder if we start giving signs that "horrible terrorist attacks on civilians are exactly what we want", then the terrorists might leave us alone at last.

re·pris·al
rəˈprīzəl/
noun
an act of retaliation

 

[MajinCry]

Call me naive, but I thought these guys were in on this, as a result of their extremism - as in, they do the robbing/killing for Allah, not money.

Also, ISIS soldiers are jacked up on drugs.

I wouldn't even really call these guys zealots. Just a bunch of doped up drug addicts looking for money and murder.

Don't forget the rape. Gotta get sex slaves; it's what Mohamed would do.

Ever read up on what they are doing to the Yazidi women?

 

[Perknose]

Also, ISIS soldiers are jacked up on drugs.

I wouldn't even really call these guys zealots. Just a bunch of doped up drug addicts looking for money and murder.

So not the case. In ISIS controlled territories, you get punished for even smoking cigarettes. And, they are big on holding their own people accountable to the same rules.

Thanks, OP, that was a great read.

 

[feralkid]

Call me naive, but I thought these guys were in on this, as a result of their extremism - as in, they do the robbing/killing for Allah, not money.

When's the last time Allah bought anyone a falafel sandwich?

 

[MrPickins]

That was probably the most well written Cracked article I've read.

 

[Indus]

Regarding their media savviness, they have a few Americans working for them on cameras and post production and they often do multiple takes of videos to get the best angles and shots including beheading videos.

Was on Rachel Maddow tonight how ISIS is so media savvy.

 

[woolfe9998]

Great article. For a moment I considered taking a look at their publication just to understand them, but I couldn't stomach the thought of it. It's nice that someone else did and provided a cogent summary.

 

[MagickMan]

Weak reprisals are what they want. If we killed everyone in an area (like say, dropped 4 ATBIP on Rakka)? They wouldn't want that.

 

[norseamd]

Weak reprisals are what they want. If we killed everyone in an area (like say, dropped 4 ATBIP on Rakka)? They wouldn't want that.

You can keep believing everything in the universe only exists in a shade or flavor that you accept if that is what you want to believe.

 

[JEDIYoda]

good read OP!!

 

[crashtech]

Germs are becoming resistant to antibiotics to the extent that there is a very real concern that we are entering a "post-antibiotic" era. ISIS is like the Clostridium difficile of humans. One treatment for C. difficile is to counter-infect with a beneficial microbiome. This might consist of Muslims with a different view of jihad that teaches the inner jihad as a road to salvation; the problem with this is that the Koran stresses only the supremacy of military jihad, and the hadith associated with inner or greater jihad being a road to salvation is considered to be heretical by many or most Muslims. Ultimately, since the Koran overtly advocates violence, just as the Old Testament does, it may be that what we are experiencing now may by necessity become a kind of war against a religion, unless a new prophet comes along and manages to reform Islam with some form of new, less violent covenant.

 

[norseamd]

Germs are becoming resistant to antibiotics to the extent that there is a very real concern that we are entering a "post-antibiotic" era. ISIS is like the Clostridium difficile of humans. One treatment for C. difficile is to counter-infect with a beneficial microbiome. This might consist of Muslims with a different view of jihad that teaches the inner jihad as a road to salvation; the problem with this is that the Koran stresses only the supremacy of military jihad, and the hadith associated with inner or greater jihad being a road to salvation is considered to be heretical by many or most Muslims. Ultimately, since the Koran overtly advocates violence, just as the Old Testament does, it may be that what we are experiencing now may by necessity become a kind of war against a religion, unless a new prophet comes along and manages to reform Islam with some form of new, less violent covenant.

Genius of the week.

 

[SirStev0]

Might be the best reporting on ISIS I have read.

I had been a major fan of cracked, but have been not as impressed by it in the last 6 months (a lot of repeat articles written by new (poor) authors, "interviews" of "interesting" people with "unique" lives that are just the same 5-7 things)..

But this is back to them at their prime.