johnjohn320

Diamond Member
Jan 9, 2001
7,572
2
76
So, a little background information: I'm not anti-social or anything, I get along with plenty of people and have friendly conversations with many people throughout my day (I'm 15, btw). However, I really only have two close, good friends, who I hang out with a lot and really feel a strong bond with.

One of those friends went out of town, to Interlochen Fine Arts Camp for the last two and half months or so. He's the same as me, maybe two or three really good friends. We, needless to say, get together immediately afteward.

But, before he gets home, while he's still at Interlochen, we talked on the phone several times, and he's having such a great time, he's talking about this Interlochen High School up there, and he wants to audition and go for his junior and senior year. He asks if I would like to audition, and after thinking about it for awhile, (couple weeks) I decide not to. It was a big desicion for me to make. It would mean moving away and living in a dorm for my junior and senior years in high school (I'm about to be a sophomore). He's talking excitedly about it constantly on the phone, and how bad he wants to go. He complains about how much he hates St. Charles (the town we live in) and he can't wait to get out of there and go to the High School.

So, several days before he comes home, we're talking on the phone again, and I tell him I made the desicion not to audition. He admits to me that he's having "serious second thoughts, some major doubts" because he misses "home." And, he doesn't want to give up the rest of a normal high school experience (the same reasons I decided not to go).

I'm thinking, well hey, cool, I was upset that I wasn't gonna see him after my sophomore year.

Now he comes back home, I see him the day after he arrives back home, and he's already talking about how badly he wants to leave and go back up to Michigan, and talks excitedly about the Interlochen High School. I said "so you've decided...like...concrete, that you're going to go?" He says "yeah, pretty much." and smiles.

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for him, and I wish him the best although I'm gonna miss him. However, what nags at me is how I was/am geniunely upset about losing him, I have always considered him such a dear friend. Now, he makes this descision to move off, and makes me realize that I'm not as important to him as he is to me. The reason I say this is because he's made the desicion in a snap basically, had no second thoughts except for about a two day period in the middle. Now, he's decided again, and keeps talking about "how happy he is to leave this town already, he wishes it could be sooner."

Thanks man, I feel so loved. :(
 

FelixDeCat

Lifer
Aug 4, 2000
31,011
2,682
126
Its always hard to loose a good friend. I hope things work out for you and your boyfriend. Keep us posted.
 

BruinEd03

Platinum Member
Feb 5, 2001
2,399
1
0


<< Sounds like you need to come out of the closet. And your friend too. >>



Leave the poor dude alone...he's losing his best friend :|

-Ed
 

bleeb

Lifer
Feb 3, 2000
10,868
0
0
<<Leave the poor dude alone...he's losing his best friend >>

Sorry... Just trying to make him laugh... gotta laugh to get over the pain. ;)
 

FelixDeCat

Lifer
Aug 4, 2000
31,011
2,682
126
Whoa, not a boyfriend. I'm straight as an arrow. He's just a very close friend.

John,

Sorry if that came out in the translation. I meant he was a boy and your friend. :eek:

Good luck to you my friend.
 

UNCjigga

Lifer
Dec 12, 2000
25,575
10,261
136
Welcome to the club. My 'close' college friends are now in NYC, Grenada (off Venezuela), Irvine California, and Richmond VA. What's more, I only lived in Charlotte for my senior year of HS (was in New Hampshire before) so I don't really have any friends in Charlotte. Never really cared much for the scene here and now I don't know anyone, plus I'm not making much money (yet) so I can't just travel all over to see people.
 

rgwalt

Diamond Member
Apr 22, 2000
7,393
0
0
I'm sorry to hear about this man... Same thing happened to me when I was about your age. My best friend left town without a second thought after our freshman year. However, keep in mind that he has just come back into town. See what this year brings. Right now he really wants to go back because he enjoyed the experience so much. This doesn't mean that he doesn't value the friendship, it just means that he wants to get out and spread his wings.

Personally, I can't imagine leaving home as a junior in highschool. My folks would have flipped. However, I was more than ready to go to college, and I've since had to make some tough choices. I left my college where I graduated from and moved from Kansas to Indiana to go to Notre Dame. Very tough decision. I left family, friends, and my life behind (at least 12 hours away).

If he does end up leaving, just try and enjoy the friendship while you can.

Ryan
 

montanafan

Diamond Member
Nov 7, 1999
3,551
2
71
Letting good friends go is one of the toughest things to do. Keep in mind though that you're not &quot;losing&quot; him and that it doesn't mean that your friendship isn't as important to him as it has always been. It's the idea of the freedom and independence that he'll have that's so exciting to him. That's a pretty tempting thing at that age.

If I read correctly, it's going to be another school year before he leaves? All kinds of things could happen in the next year to change his mind. In fact, I'd say it's more likely that he will change his mind than not. Right now he's just reveling in the experience of the last few months.

Don't get down about it and don't talk to him that much about it right now. Let it fade and don't give it a lot of thought until later in the school year if he starts acting really serious about going and making plans. Maybe by then you'll be better prepared for it than now when you've just heard it out of the blue.

Good luck and chin up.
 

goog

Golden Member
Sep 8, 2000
1,076
0
0
I've been in your shoes it sucks.

But he's excited and doing something he thinks he wants to do. The way i try and see it is if the friend is happy be happy for him.

The unloved one:(;)
 

Schlocemus

Golden Member
Apr 18, 2001
1,198
0
0
I know that it seems that he doesn't care about you, but he really does. It is just that his emotions of happiness are so overpowering him currently, as soon as he moves away he will realize what he had. As soon as he goes there and he starts remembering all the things you guys did, he will sincerely miss you. For now you just have to be a good friend, and in short time he remember you always for the great friend that you are :)
 

bigrash

Lifer
Feb 20, 2001
17,648
28
91
ok..i'm gonna try to put this the nicest way possible:

It's messed up that your best friend is moving. but i don't think you should be selfish. He's moving because he likes it there because it's a better lifestile for him there. He shouldn't just stay in your area just because of you. After all, like you said, he's not your boyfriend. You have to realize that you have to associate with more people and make more closer friends. As you get older you'll realize that it's just part of life that people move on for their own benefit.
 

BigFatCow

Diamond Member
Aug 11, 2001
3,373
1
0
this happened to me too....im 15 and my friend is going of to Deleware for sophmore year..and maybe junior and senior year too...he wasnt a good as afriend as yours but he was a good friend...and his older brother kicked ass..but hes going to college...
 

Miramonti

Lifer
Aug 26, 2000
28,653
100
106
Unfortunately thats probably not going to be the last time that this happens because people hook up with a new boyfriend or girlfriend and you don't see them anymore. I've been on both sides of that.

He might be wanting to explore and experience things more strongly than you do right now. I'm sure its not meant to be a 'statement' about how he feels about your friendship and isn't meant to come across personally. He's coming from a different place because he already experienced things up there and wants more. Let him know that you'll miss hanging out with him, etc but 'stick with him' and give him the 'benefit of the doubt' because it'll be worth it down the road.