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- Thread starter Duckers
- Start date
dabuddha
Lifer
- Apr 10, 2000
- 19,579
- 17
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don't know what to tell you
do you consider yourself to be a shy person?
i can see how you feel that most people are not worth your time but to be considered socially "acceptable" in this society, you have to show some restraint on how you treat others. As for improving your skills, just watch how others act in public. It's an excellent way to see how society works. But then again, im not normal myself and see no problem with it
do you consider yourself to be a shy person?
i can see how you feel that most people are not worth your time but to be considered socially "acceptable" in this society, you have to show some restraint on how you treat others. As for improving your skills, just watch how others act in public. It's an excellent way to see how society works. But then again, im not normal myself and see no problem with it
Aw Duckers....
At some point, you will realize people have to take you or leave you as you are. As long as you are not hurting anyone else, it is okay to be a bit odd.
People have interesting reactions to me. Some people absolutely adore me and love to be around me, but other people get uncomfortable around me. I am very much 'me' and I don't put on a 'mask' in public. This makes some people very happy and other people very nervous. I figure the ones who get nervous are not the kind I want in my life, anyway.
Good manners ARE important, but beyond that, just be yourself.
At some point, you will realize people have to take you or leave you as you are. As long as you are not hurting anyone else, it is okay to be a bit odd.
People have interesting reactions to me. Some people absolutely adore me and love to be around me, but other people get uncomfortable around me. I am very much 'me' and I don't put on a 'mask' in public. This makes some people very happy and other people very nervous. I figure the ones who get nervous are not the kind I want in my life, anyway.
Good manners ARE important, but beyond that, just be yourself.
Just be yourself..
Let me ask you this.. Are you content with yourself?
If not, then you have a self-esteem problem.. which is definitely not healthy for you. If you are, then I guess it's ok to be bit odd or whatever, as long as You're happy with it
However, I get the impression that you want to experience more with people socially and have fun, make good friends, make memories..
~MoO
Let me ask you this.. Are you content with yourself?
If not, then you have a self-esteem problem.. which is definitely not healthy for you. If you are, then I guess it's ok to be bit odd or whatever, as long as You're happy with it
However, I get the impression that you want to experience more with people socially and have fun, make good friends, make memories..
~MoO
Do you find it easy to talk with people one-on-one but it's hard when you're in a group?
Personality is a very hard thing to change. What do you consider "wrong" with your personality? I know some interesting people who aren't very good in the social scene. I also know the most boring people who seem to thrive in the social scene.
Personality is a very hard thing to change. What do you consider "wrong" with your personality? I know some interesting people who aren't very good in the social scene. I also know the most boring people who seem to thrive in the social scene.
<< I don't care what other people think about me, I believe in individualism, I rather do things by myself. I guess this means that I don't have self-esteem problems >>
caring about what other people think does not mean you surrender your individualism. don't equate 'caring' with surrender. perhaps thats a clue about the direction towards self-help
in your original post, i thought you cited a negative example of an overheard conversation just to reinforce the negative creep in you. whoever this person was, he/she may not have had a deep understanding of you (you may not have allowed that), and perhaps they, like you, proceeded with their own biased initial impressions.
<< I'll be honest, my problem, if it can be called a problem, is that I think that most people are not worth my time >>
this though is on another level - subterranean actually. so you're not bothered if 'other people' regard you as 'smart' (whatever that is or may mean), and you don't care to foster any more of a relationship beyond that initial impression, which for all we know you may calculatingly try to convey.
am i close ? do you agree ?
<< My personality might be messed up, I accept it, I act different with different people and in different situations. I also have friends and they do not have any complaint about me >>
fatalism ? complacency ? if you accept it, why are you asking for help ? who doesn't act differently or accomodatingly according to the situation. thankfully you have a close group of friends.
Azraele
Elite Member
- Nov 5, 2000
- 16,524
- 29
- 91
<<my problem, if it can be called a problem, is that I think that most people are not worth my time>>
First if all, be yourself. Being anybody but yourself is a waste of time.
However, changing perceived faults are worth your time, and I tink where your fault lies is that you feel that most people are not worth your time. This may or may not be true, but each person you meet has the potential to be your friend or enemy. They each have a wealth or experiences and memories, and feelings and pesonality, good sides, and faults. Treat them with respect and give them a chance, unless they specifically give you a reason not to.
First if all, be yourself. Being anybody but yourself is a waste of time.
However, changing perceived faults are worth your time, and I tink where your fault lies is that you feel that most people are not worth your time. This may or may not be true, but each person you meet has the potential to be your friend or enemy. They each have a wealth or experiences and memories, and feelings and pesonality, good sides, and faults. Treat them with respect and give them a chance, unless they specifically give you a reason not to.
Duckers,
consider the definition of just what is normal. In a society, that is defined by culturally accepted traditions and mannnerisms. But the problem is that those, unlike principles, are completely arbitrary. Hence, you're just as normal as they are and should not conform to please some in social situations. As long as you live by your own value system and stay true to the code you have defined for yourself, you're better off than all those people who try to be "sociable".
It's understandable that you think most people aren't worth your time but that's something that is not based on objective evidence. They are people too and have the same troubles and worries as you. Albeit, their intelligence may be lower, they are still people and you shouldn't completely stay away.
Is that what you mean when you say you're inept? You mean that your own intellectual level isn't understood and you see no reason to play an act or change to interact better in a group of different individuals?
If that's so, and if you want to change, you need to change how you see other people. You should remain as you are but give more people a chance and not judge so quickly.
I hope my original point of relativity in social norms was clear as that is the real idea. In this case, the two styles of interaction (others' and your's) cannot be judged as right or wrong but simply as present simultaneously.
besides, normal is just so bland and banal. Spice is much better
Edit: Azraele, my dear, you most definitely beat me to it
consider the definition of just what is normal. In a society, that is defined by culturally accepted traditions and mannnerisms. But the problem is that those, unlike principles, are completely arbitrary. Hence, you're just as normal as they are and should not conform to please some in social situations. As long as you live by your own value system and stay true to the code you have defined for yourself, you're better off than all those people who try to be "sociable".
It's understandable that you think most people aren't worth your time but that's something that is not based on objective evidence. They are people too and have the same troubles and worries as you. Albeit, their intelligence may be lower, they are still people and you shouldn't completely stay away.
Is that what you mean when you say you're inept? You mean that your own intellectual level isn't understood and you see no reason to play an act or change to interact better in a group of different individuals?
If that's so, and if you want to change, you need to change how you see other people. You should remain as you are but give more people a chance and not judge so quickly.
I hope my original point of relativity in social norms was clear as that is the real idea. In this case, the two styles of interaction (others' and your's) cannot be judged as right or wrong but simply as present simultaneously.
besides, normal is just so bland and banal. Spice is much better
Edit: Azraele, my dear, you most definitely beat me to it
StageLeft
No Lifer
- Sep 29, 2000
- 70,150
- 5
- 0
if you really want to enhance your social skills look at how others interact. its easy to tell who is socially competant talking to strangers or whomever, so notice what they do. Do they throw around offensive jokes at poor times? Do they talk about boring things all the time? Copy the more socially capable people around and try and do as they do. Also when you're speaking put yourself in the other person's shoes: Would you find yourself interesting?
Its a tough job enhancing social skills. Mine have come a long way and need a ways to go yet!
I'll be honest, my problem, if it can be called a problem, is that I think that most people are not worth my time.
I too used to think this way - you're going to have to get over it if you want a meaningful interaction with people.
Its a tough job enhancing social skills. Mine have come a long way and need a ways to go yet!
I'll be honest, my problem, if it can be called a problem, is that I think that most people are not worth my time.
I too used to think this way - you're going to have to get over it if you want a meaningful interaction with people.
I would describe myself as a quiet, serious person, who does not try to be neither an a$$hole nor the coolest guy.
A quiet person sometimes scares other people. Because they don't know what you might be thinking or whatever their reason is. As I have been told be a friend I have known almost my eniter life.
I use to be (probably still am) a quiet person. If feel the most comfortable around other "computer geeks" and sometimes nervious around "non-geeks." Most "non-geeks" are uncomfartable around "quiet" people and sometimes around "geeks."
This may or may not be the case for you but it is something to think about.
There are two issues here, individualism and social manners.
It's fine to be an individual and do your own thing but at the same time social tact is needed. Hate to say it but I have the same opinion of you as your friends around you. You are a smart guy but you lack what makes people confortable. I may be way of here but based on some of the posts you have made, I am guessing you are the type that tends to say things with out thinking through the consequences. Believe me you are not the only one, many smart people do that.
Plus, do not thing anyone is "not worth your time" because in your mind it automatically puts you one step above them. You will unconsciously treat them poorly and just annoy those around you.
Work on your people skills and things should pick up.
Windogg
It's fine to be an individual and do your own thing but at the same time social tact is needed. Hate to say it but I have the same opinion of you as your friends around you. You are a smart guy but you lack what makes people confortable. I may be way of here but based on some of the posts you have made, I am guessing you are the type that tends to say things with out thinking through the consequences. Believe me you are not the only one, many smart people do that.
Plus, do not thing anyone is "not worth your time" because in your mind it automatically puts you one step above them. You will unconsciously treat them poorly and just annoy those around you.
Work on your people skills and things should pick up.
Windogg
Hey Duckers I'll I have to say is be yourself. If somebody can't accept you for who you are they are not worth your time. You do not have to change yourself for anybody. Be kind to everybody, respect everybody, and most of all enjoy yourself and you will be happy with who you are!
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