$50

[nakedfrog]

Originally posted by: manowar821

Originally posted by: Ocguy31
Democrats are such funny little people.

Fixed for you, you wretched snake.

Can we just update to "partisan hacks incapable of formulating their own thoughts" and be done with it?

 

[manowar821]

Originally posted by: nakedfrog

Originally posted by: manowar821

Originally posted by: Ocguy31
partisan hacks incapable of formulating their own thoughts are such funny little people.

Fixed for you, you wretched snake.

Can we just update to "partisan hacks incapable of formulating their own thoughts" and be done with it?

I CONCUR, good sir.

(Disclaimer: This includes republicans, and Ocguy31)

 

[InflatableBuddha]

Originally posted by: Perknose

Originally posted by: weflyhigh
I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?'
She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.'
Her parents beamed.

'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that. Have the homeless guy come over to my rich neighborhood on the easily available public transportation that we don't have and mow my lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll give him $50.

"Sure, he'll still be homeless and in need of so many other things and, SURE, $50 a day is far from a living wage in America in 2009, which is why I have my lawn done by illegal aliens who won't complain but about whom I then blog viciously in a totally hypocritical way, but . . . Welcome to the Republican Party!"

The sweet little girl looked up at me all wide-eyed and innocent and said, "Do0d, are you on Oxycontin or something, you fat, overpriveleged blowhard?"

All I could answer was, "Welcome to the Republican Party!"

She went on, "Clearly, you clueless dittohead piece of flatulent trash, most of those homeless people are obviously mentally ill! Why are they out polluting our streets and not in institutions where they belong?"

"Welcome to the Republican Party," I answered weakly.

"You see, they used to be in institutions, but then an Alzheimer's impaired ex-B actor became president -- Welcome to the Republican Party! -- and threw them all out on the streets to save money. Of course, it didn't save money and he ran up the largest government deficits ever to that point (except for WWII) until the next Republican president topped them and then the next Republican president got us into even more debt, but, hey . . .

Welcome to the Republican Party!

Then I told her that if she gets raped by her Republican Uncle and her pregnancy could well cause her death, she HAS to have the baby anyway because Yahweh sez so!

Her parents still aren't speaking to me

Fixored for more lulz and much more accuracy.

Gold, sir! :laugh:

 

[GodlessAstronomer]

Originally posted by: halik

Originally posted by: spidey07
It's funny because it's poisonous.

fixed (5 pts if you get the reference)

Futurama.

I believe it's the episode with Flexo.

Bender: Hey Fry! Think fast! *opens body hatch to release noxious gas in Fry's face*
Fry: *cough*
Bender: Get it? It's chlorine!
Zoidberg: It's funny because it's poisonous!


I probably butchered that, but close enough. And actually I can't remember if it's Bender or Flexo that does it.

Edit - just popped the DVD in, it is Flexo.

 

[OCGuy]

Originally posted by: manowar821

Originally posted by: nakedfrog

Originally posted by: manowar821

Originally posted by: Ocguy31
partisan hacks incapable of formulating their own thoughts are such funny little people.

Fixed for you, you wretched snake.

Can we just update to "partisan hacks incapable of formulating their own thoughts" and be done with it?

I CONCUR, good sir.

(Disclaimer: This includes republicans, and Ocguy31)

:lips:

 

[amish]

Originally posted by: Perknose

Originally posted by: weflyhigh
I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?'
She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.'
Her parents beamed.

'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that. Have the homeless guy come over to my rich neighborhood on the easily available public transportation that we don't have and mow my lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll give him $50.

"Sure, he'll still be homeless and in need of so many other things and, SURE, $50 a day is far from a living wage in America in 2009, which is why I have my lawn done by illegal aliens who won't complain but about whom I then blog viciously in a totally hypocritical way, but . . . Welcome to the Republican Party!"

The sweet little girl looked up at me all wide-eyed and innocent and said, "Do0d, are you on Oxycontin or something, you fat, overpriveleged blowhard?"

All I could answer was, "Welcome to the Republican Party!"

She went on, "Clearly, you clueless dittohead piece of flatulent trash, most of those homeless people are obviously mentally ill! Why are they out polluting our streets and not in institutions where they belong?"

"Welcome to the Republican Party," I answered weakly.

"You see, they used to be in institutions, but then an Alzheimer's impaired ex-B actor became president -- Welcome to the Republican Party! -- and threw them all out on the streets to save money. Of course, it didn't save money and he ran up the largest government deficits ever to that point (except for WWII) until the next Republican president topped them and then the next Republican president got us into even more debt, but, hey . . .

Welcome to the Republican Party!

Then I told her that if she gets raped by her Republican Uncle and her pregnancy could well cause her death, she HAS to have the baby anyway because Yahweh sez so!

Her parents still aren't speaking to me

Fixored for more lulz and much more accuracy.

how about instead of contributing to this pile of shit you use your elite senior moderator status and flush this turd of a thread.

 

[uhohs]

Originally posted by: Perknose

Originally posted by: weflyhigh
I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?'
She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.'
Her parents beamed.

'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that. Have the homeless guy come over to my rich neighborhood on the easily available public transportation that we don't have and mow my lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll give him $50.

"Sure, he'll still be homeless and in need of so many other things and, SURE, $50 a day is far from a living wage in America in 2009, which is why I have my lawn done by illegal aliens who won't complain but about whom I then blog viciously in a totally hypocritical way, but . . . Welcome to the Republican Party!"

The sweet little girl looked up at me all wide-eyed and innocent and said, "Do0d, are you on Oxycontin or something, you fat, overpriveleged blowhard?"

All I could answer was, "Welcome to the Republican Party!"

She went on, "Clearly, you clueless dittohead piece of flatulent trash, most of those homeless people are obviously mentally ill! Why are they out polluting our streets and not in institutions where they belong?"

"Welcome to the Republican Party," I answered weakly.

"You see, they used to be in institutions, but then an Alzheimer's impaired ex-B actor became president -- Welcome to the Republican Party! -- and threw them all out on the streets to save money. Of course, it didn't save money and he ran up the largest government deficits ever to that point (except for WWII) until the next Republican president topped them and then the next Republican president got us into even more debt, but, hey . . .

Welcome to the Republican Party!

Then I told her that if she gets raped by her Republican Uncle and her pregnancy could well cause her death, she HAS to have the baby anyway because Yahweh sez so!

Her parents still aren't speaking to me

Fixored for more lulz and much more accuracy.

take it to p&n noob.

 

[ViviTheMage]

pretty old, but still funny.

 

[uhohs]

Originally posted by: amish

Originally posted by: Perknose

Originally posted by: weflyhigh
I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?'
She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.'
Her parents beamed.

'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that. Have the homeless guy come over to my rich neighborhood on the easily available public transportation that we don't have and mow my lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll give him $50.

"Sure, he'll still be homeless and in need of so many other things and, SURE, $50 a day is far from a living wage in America in 2009, which is why I have my lawn done by illegal aliens who won't complain but about whom I then blog viciously in a totally hypocritical way, but . . . Welcome to the Republican Party!"

The sweet little girl looked up at me all wide-eyed and innocent and said, "Do0d, are you on Oxycontin or something, you fat, overpriveleged blowhard?"

All I could answer was, "Welcome to the Republican Party!"

She went on, "Clearly, you clueless dittohead piece of flatulent trash, most of those homeless people are obviously mentally ill! Why are they out polluting our streets and not in institutions where they belong?"

"Welcome to the Republican Party," I answered weakly.

"You see, they used to be in institutions, but then an Alzheimer's impaired ex-B actor became president -- Welcome to the Republican Party! -- and threw them all out on the streets to save money. Of course, it didn't save money and he ran up the largest government deficits ever to that point (except for WWII) until the next Republican president topped them and then the next Republican president got us into even more debt, but, hey . . .

Welcome to the Republican Party!

Then I told her that if she gets raped by her Republican Uncle and her pregnancy could well cause her death, she HAS to have the baby anyway because Yahweh sez so!

Her parents still aren't speaking to me

Fixored for more lulz and much more accuracy.

how about instead of contributing to this pile of shit you use your elite senior moderator status and flush this turd of a thread.

wait, you mean elite senior moderators aren't suppose to act like huge trolls and suggest that Republican Christians are rapists and child molesters?

-----------------------------------------

Perk was posting as a member, not a Moderator


Please take a couple of days off to understand the difference.

Clues exist in PFI threads as wells as the TOS


Senior Anandtech Moderator
Common Courtesy

 

[Fayd]

Originally posted by: amish

Originally posted by: Perknose

Originally posted by: weflyhigh
I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?'
She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.'
Her parents beamed.

'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that. Have the homeless guy come over to my rich neighborhood on the easily available public transportation that we don't have and mow my lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll give him $50.

"Sure, he'll still be homeless and in need of so many other things and, SURE, $50 a day is far from a living wage in America in 2009, which is why I have my lawn done by illegal aliens who won't complain but about whom I then blog viciously in a totally hypocritical way, but . . . Welcome to the Republican Party!"

The sweet little girl looked up at me all wide-eyed and innocent and said, "Do0d, are you on Oxycontin or something, you fat, overpriveleged blowhard?"

All I could answer was, "Welcome to the Republican Party!"

She went on, "Clearly, you clueless dittohead piece of flatulent trash, most of those homeless people are obviously mentally ill! Why are they out polluting our streets and not in institutions where they belong?"

"Welcome to the Republican Party," I answered weakly.

"You see, they used to be in institutions, but then an Alzheimer's impaired ex-B actor became president -- Welcome to the Republican Party! -- and threw them all out on the streets to save money. Of course, it didn't save money and he ran up the largest government deficits ever to that point (except for WWII) until the next Republican president topped them and then the next Republican president got us into even more debt, but, hey . . .

Welcome to the Republican Party!

Then I told her that if she gets raped by her Republican Uncle and her pregnancy could well cause her death, she HAS to have the baby anyway because Yahweh sez so!

Her parents still aren't speaking to me

Fixored for more lulz and much more accuracy.

how about instead of contributing to this pile of shit you use your elite senior moderator status and flush this turd of a thread.

because when everybody shits in a pile, you do too.

 

[Turin39789]

Originally posted by: uhohswait, you mean elite senior moderators aren't suppose to act like huge trolls and suggest that Republican Christians are rapists and child molesters?

lulz. serious uhohs is serious poster.

 

[soccerballtux]

Originally posted by: weflyhigh
I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?'
She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.'
Her parents beamed.
'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.'
She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?'
I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.'

Her parents still aren't speaking to me


---------------------------------------------
Moved to P&N from OT

Part political & part humor

Senior Andtech Moderator
Common Courtesy

haha good one.

 

[miketheidiot]

in a republican word, the poor subsidize the rich, and then the rich blame the poor for getting poorer.

 

[frostedflakes]

uhowned? :laugh:

 

[boomerang]

I've always preferred this version.

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat, and was very much in favor of the redistribution of wealth.

She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch Republican, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.

One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the addition of more government welfare programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school.

Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.

Her father listened and then asked, "How is your friend Audrey doing ?" She replied, "Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies, and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She's always invited to all the parties, and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes because she's too hung over."

Her wise father asked his daughter, "Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct a 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA."

The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired back, "That wouldn't be fair! I have worked really hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!"

The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, " Welcome to the Republican party."

 

[fskimospy]

You guys don't actually believe the stupidity contained in these emails, do you?

 

[boomerang]

Originally posted by: eskimospy
You guys don't actually believe the stupidity contained in these emails, do you?

That's some kind of trick question .......... isn't it?

 

[Jiggz]

Originally posted by: eskimospy
You guys don't actually believe the stupidity contained in these emails, do you?

You are obviously referring to your fellow liberals who cannot accept facts detrimental to their cause. They smear facts like it's "spam" to re-direct the discussion. However, the rest of non-liberals know better. So go ahead call it stupidity or whatever, but we know better!

Homelessness? It's by choice! Any reason other than that is "spam".

 

[fskimospy]

Originally posted by: boomerang

Originally posted by: eskimospy
You guys don't actually believe the stupidity contained in these emails, do you?

That's some kind of trick question .......... isn't it?

It's just a fervent hope on my part. Threads like this make me sad when I see how many people actually buy into this shit.

 

[winnar111]

I'm Barack Hussein Obama and I approve of this message.

 

[TallBill]

Clu-clu-clu-cluster fuck!

/mortal kombat voice

 

[Hacp]

Originally posted by: weflyhigh
I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?'
She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.'
Her parents beamed.
'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.'
She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?'
I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.'

Her parents still aren't speaking to me


---------------------------------------------
Moved to P&N from OT

Part political & part humor

Senior Andtech Moderator
Common Courtesy

:thumbsup:

But personally, I'd never let a homeless guy into my home.

 

[StageLeft]

Originally posted by: spidey07
It's funny because it's true.

 

[Freshgeardude]

I heard a similar joke like this during the campaigns.


A man is walking towards a restaurant and sees a homeless man on the street asking for change.He walks into the restaurant to find his waiter is wearing an Obama pin. The waiter had worked very hard to please the man and do his job very well. The bill was 100 dollars, so the waiter thought he would get a nice tip, of around 18%, so 18 dollars. He sees the man leave with money on the table, and is disappointed to see only 109 dollars. He then noticed a note written on a napkin under it. It said, " I am giving the other half of the tip to the man who did not work and doesn't deserve it." The waiter was pissed

 

[WHAMPOM]

Originally posted by: weflyhigh
I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?'
She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.'
Her parents beamed.
'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.'
She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?'
I said, "There is no public transportation to the gated community I live in and it would take all day for the homeless person to walk here. Also they would not be allowed through the gate anyway."
"Oh you could give them a ride." she said.
"Smelling up my car's leather seats! Not when a fresh young thing like you volunteers to do the yard and puppy."
"Puppy?"
"Yes puppy, see." "ZZZZZip!"
"EEEEEKKK!!"

Her parents still aren't speaking to me


---------------------------------------------
Moved to P&N from OT

Part political & part humor

Senior Andtech Moderator
Common Courtesy