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18, can my parents tell me where i can stay?!
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DainBramaged
Lifer
Here is the way I see it. I appreciate my parents letting me live with them. I do a few chores around the house to help out. I try not to piss them off. They let me stay.
AgaBoogaBoo
Lifer
I've only read through two pages, but what exactly are they telling you to do? What rules are they setting?
Also, if I were you, I'd let things calm down a bit and respect them.
Also, this is the best post I have seen so far:
Also, if I were you, I'd let things calm down a bit and respect them.
Also, this is the best post I have seen so far:
alkemyst
No Lifer
Your parents can, and you can choose to listen or not.
Whether or not you pay rent or not (at least you pay your own bills which you should by 18) doesn't matter, the same way a rental landlord can tell you what you can or can't do in their apartment.
Sounds like you need to move out and get your own place. You may need more growing up though....😉
Whether or not you pay rent or not (at least you pay your own bills which you should by 18) doesn't matter, the same way a rental landlord can tell you what you can or can't do in their apartment.
Sounds like you need to move out and get your own place. You may need more growing up though....😉
MaDDaWg1018
Member
it sucks to be under such stringent rules, but if you're in their house, then you have to show some respect and listen to them.
love ur parents man, listen to them, compromise for them, and try ur best to be a good kid. sadly enough to say, you never know when ur parents wont be around anymore.
love ur parents man, listen to them, compromise for them, and try ur best to be a good kid. sadly enough to say, you never know when ur parents wont be around anymore.
cheapgoose
Diamond Member
you may not be an idiot, but you're not too bright.
listen to your parents, and in time, they won't tell you what to do anymore. they do now because they don't trust you yet. just suck it up and listen for now, in time, things will change. They need time to get used to the fact that you are 18, an adult and you can make decisions on your own.
listen to your parents, and in time, they won't tell you what to do anymore. they do now because they don't trust you yet. just suck it up and listen for now, in time, things will change. They need time to get used to the fact that you are 18, an adult and you can make decisions on your own.
there's no book on being a parent. well there is but most of them is an attempt to make money and not really teach anything. Unfortunately, experience is the only way and the first kid gets the brunt of it, and the second kid gets the overcompensation from mistakes learned by the first one.
Taking you for example, whether true or not is irrelevent. Someone like you will get coddled and babied for the rest of ure life until you move out because of mistakes made when raising your brother. Thus the forbidden sleepover and such to control how "loose" you are allowed to be.
The "their house, their rules" is ridiculous for the most point. Obviously there are limits to how independent you are, but these people here in the forum arent parents or are simply bad parents from the sound of it. for the type of parents you have that believe parenting is all about living your life for you and controlling everything they physically see, there are two choices. 1 is to obey most of the time, and disobey once in a while and just argue and get yelled at afterwards.
These second is to "educate" your parents and that's highly unlikely as they are stubborn as you are and even more so because they believe they know everything and what's right due to being of an older age. It's not impossible to "wear down" your parents with constant disobedience as long as you dont fuel their temper. Just take the yelling and punishment and ignore it passively. Do it every weekend, and eventually they might break down and stop yelling. This depends on how busy and 'tired' your parents are in general.
Taking you for example, whether true or not is irrelevent. Someone like you will get coddled and babied for the rest of ure life until you move out because of mistakes made when raising your brother. Thus the forbidden sleepover and such to control how "loose" you are allowed to be.
The "their house, their rules" is ridiculous for the most point. Obviously there are limits to how independent you are, but these people here in the forum arent parents or are simply bad parents from the sound of it. for the type of parents you have that believe parenting is all about living your life for you and controlling everything they physically see, there are two choices. 1 is to obey most of the time, and disobey once in a while and just argue and get yelled at afterwards.
These second is to "educate" your parents and that's highly unlikely as they are stubborn as you are and even more so because they believe they know everything and what's right due to being of an older age. It's not impossible to "wear down" your parents with constant disobedience as long as you dont fuel their temper. Just take the yelling and punishment and ignore it passively. Do it every weekend, and eventually they might break down and stop yelling. This depends on how busy and 'tired' your parents are in general.
As a parent, I want the best for my child. You know, we've all been down that road. When I was 21 I decided I'd had enough of "hotel mum" and moved out. In fact I packed up my bags and went to Germany. I dont think your post has anything to do with you not liking that they are telling you not to stay in this or that place but more that you are trying to get up the courage and move out. All I can say is., if you are independent enough (and I dont just mean financially) then pack your things and find your own place. It's a huge step to take on the road to growing up. The thing that I hated most about living alone was coming home to an empty house. I had 3 brothers and a sister, then with my parents and my grandmother there was always someone around and then all of a sudden I was alone. I didn't like eating alone either. Ok, so I have my own family now and sometimes I wish I had time alone!!!!!!
Anyway, decide if you can make it on your own. Can you do your own laundry? Can you cook etc etc? Ask yourself these things and then ask yourself, are you parents just trying to control you or do they have your wellbeing at heart. The night before I left my father came to me and said that he didn't want me to go but if I really believed that it was right for me, then he was happy for me. I can see now that my parents only wanted the best for me........
Hope this helps somewhat!
Anyway, decide if you can make it on your own. Can you do your own laundry? Can you cook etc etc? Ask yourself these things and then ask yourself, are you parents just trying to control you or do they have your wellbeing at heart. The night before I left my father came to me and said that he didn't want me to go but if I really believed that it was right for me, then he was happy for me. I can see now that my parents only wanted the best for me........
Hope this helps somewhat!
dude, the reason that your parents don't want you to go, is most likely because you have a past of misusing their trust. My brother is the same way. I was the same way. Just slow down for one fvcking minute and look things over. So what, they won't let you stay at a co-ed sleepover. If I was your parent, I probably wouldn't let you go either. You will have plenty of co-ed sleepovers available to you when you are in college, unless of course you commute, but oh well. bottom line, grow up. Writing a post about how you don't like your parents rules, and that you are going to break them anyway sound pretty immature to me, and if you do disobey them and they don't kick you out, it's just going to make your stay uncomfortable.
nativesunshine
Diamond Member
Please...you totally contradict yourself. You always tell me that i'm 20 and i can do whatever I want..and i don't have to let them control my life like they do.
now you're saying as long as i live there and i have to listen to everything they say.
Most parents notice that their kids are responsible enough to handle various situations. My parents still, even though i'm moved out, would ask me not to go to a party where there was drinking and drugs involved. Why? Because they don't want to see me end up in jail or dead or hurt, or many of the other CONSEQUENCES that could happen.
Go cry me a river if you feel that listening to your parents about sleeping over at someone elses house is to 'harsh'. Dear lord, this isn't 3rd grade where when you are told no you go cry like a baby.
Go cry me a river if you feel that listening to your parents about sleeping over at someone elses house is to 'harsh'. Dear lord, this isn't 3rd grade where when you are told no you go cry like a baby.
Originally posted by: nativesunshine
Please...you totally contradict yourself. You always tell me that i'm 20 and i can do whatever I want..and i don't have to let them control my life like they do.
now you're saying as long as i live there and i have to listen to everything they say.
Oooh fight fight fight
So much to cover...
First of all, why is it so hard to imagine that he paid for all his own stuff? At 18 (I'm 25 now), I had paid for everything I owned (other than birthday and X-mas gifts). This included ALL my clothes, my study desk, my bed (I bought a nice waterbed), super nintendo, gameboy, shoes, and my first computer (DELL). I paid for my own car and insurance. I even paid for my own meals. I made $6/hr at a grocery store and mowed yards. I never was given an allowance.
I think that an 18 year old living with the parents should be given greater latitude in his/her decision making. It shouldn't be the business of the parents if you are out late, where you stay, or what you do outside the house UNLESS it is directly affecting them. Inside the house, however, is another story. They reign supreme, especially on topics such as drugs, alcohol, partying in the house, being rude/rowdy, etc.
Luckily, my parents knew they could trust me. I was allowed to make my own decisions. I think I turned out OK. If my parents would've EVER told me at age >17 that I couldn't go somewhere, I would've told them to piss up a rope, and I would've moved out.
First of all, why is it so hard to imagine that he paid for all his own stuff? At 18 (I'm 25 now), I had paid for everything I owned (other than birthday and X-mas gifts). This included ALL my clothes, my study desk, my bed (I bought a nice waterbed), super nintendo, gameboy, shoes, and my first computer (DELL). I paid for my own car and insurance. I even paid for my own meals. I made $6/hr at a grocery store and mowed yards. I never was given an allowance.
I think that an 18 year old living with the parents should be given greater latitude in his/her decision making. It shouldn't be the business of the parents if you are out late, where you stay, or what you do outside the house UNLESS it is directly affecting them. Inside the house, however, is another story. They reign supreme, especially on topics such as drugs, alcohol, partying in the house, being rude/rowdy, etc.
Luckily, my parents knew they could trust me. I was allowed to make my own decisions. I think I turned out OK. If my parents would've EVER told me at age >17 that I couldn't go somewhere, I would've told them to piss up a rope, and I would've moved out.
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