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[CraKaJaX]

Originally posted by: bryantp

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: Eghck

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: Eghck
"i'm shy, not very self-confident"

thats your biggest problem. If even you can't see your self worth, why or how would any girl?

yeah, probably. i just don't know how to fix that either.

well Im not here to boost your ego, but you've said yourself that you've been on serveral dates. So that means you aren't hopeless. Even if they went nowhere, some people have a hard enough time going on 1 date.

As for talking to girls, do you think you're interesting? An easy way to tell is do you have any good stories to share about yourself?

in a word - no.
my job is not interesting. i don't have any interesting hobbies or do anything that anyone except another geek/nerd would find interesting.

Lunch is an EXCEPTINAL option for first "dates" - Lunch can be as long or as short as you would like it .. plus there are so many "outs" - have to get back to work, have to run errands, meeting up with some friends ...

Another way to help the chatting is to remember an acronym
FORM
Family
Occupation
Recretaion
Motivation
These topics offer great places to start a conversation - from there you find that you both enoy the online games (recreation) or that you both have siblings (family) - now you can chat about the game or chat about funny stories of the little/older brother/sister.

Always remember to keep the converstation, AND THE EYES, on her.

Another rule of thumb would be - you only get a hit if you take a swing.

Chances are she might not be interested - but neither of you have a chance unless someone steps up to the plate

Very nice :thumbsup:

 

[bryantp]

Originally posted by: yobarman

Originally posted by: pontifex
alright, i broke down and decided to take a pic.

this was taken like 20 minutes ago at like 12:25 AM so i'm not looking my best.

Sigh...me...

take it easy on me

Listen guy, you're an average looking joe. I've seen guys that look like you with some pretty classy women. There's nothing hideous about you that would prevent girls from talking to you... so whats the problem? Oh yeah... you have very little self confidence! There are a number of ways to boost self confidence (trust me it can be done... i'm a little chunky and have no problem talking to girls)

A.) Some people have mentioned to get into the gym. this always help self confidence... don't do it for the ladies though... do it for yourself. as a personal favor to yourself.... you'll begin to respect yourself more.. no one is going to respect you if you don't respect yourself.
B.) take notfred's advice. Start small. Just learn to get good at small talk. If you see a conversation start to go south... whatever, say something stupid that will make the other person laugh or creep them out completely. who cares!

Don't worry if you're not the most interesting person. Wanna know the secret? THIS GOES FOR ANYONE WHO HAS TROUBLE TALKING TO PEOPLE: LEARN TO LISTEN. People love to talk about themselves. They are their own favorite subject. Really listen to what they are saying and ... here's the important part... ask questions! People leave clues as to what they're interested in, what they do, and what their goals and ambitions are with every word they say. From that you can ask questions about themselves. Keep things positive. If you're having trouble use this simple formula :
FORD (Family, Occupation, Relationships, Desires). Pretty stupid yeah but it gives you something to talk about. Remember, keep the convo positive and just get out there dork!

NICE acronym ... sorry didn't mean to copy but I didn't read the whole thread before posting ...

 

[ultimatebob]

Did anyone recommend yagt.org yet? I'm too lazy to read all 7 pages of to see if anyone else posted it yet!

Edit: OK, OK... I read ALL 7 pages, and found out that one bothered to post a YAGT link yet. For shame!

I'm also going to recommend spending more time socializing offline and less time playing bridge building games. Pontifex is pretty damn cool game, but it ain't gonna get you laid.

 

[yobarman]

Originally posted by: bryantp

NICE acronym ... sorry didn't mean to copy but I didn't read the whole thread before posting ...

LOL Honestly i couldn't remember what the M was for so I just made up the last letter. Thanks for reminding me haha

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: ultimatebob
Did anyone recommend yagt.org yet? I'm too lazy to read all 7 pages of to see if anyone else posted it yet!

Edit: OK, OK... I read ALL 7 pages, and found out that one bothered to post a YAGT link yet. For shame!

I'm also going to recommend spending more time socializing offline and less time playing bridge building games. Pontifex is pretty damn cool game, but it ain't gonna get you laid.

lol, my name isn't based off this game you are talking about. i didn't even know such a game existed.

 

[InlineFour]

you're not alone. i never really cared to look for a relationship with a female though.

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: InlineFour
you're not alone. i never really cared to look for a relationship with a female though.

and here i thought this thread was dead

 

[gigapet]

I'm not going to rant on and on here. If you are serious and want serious advice. Drop me a PM. Otherwise GL.

 

[TheNinja]

Hang out in the produce section of the supermarket. Whenever there are women around be sure to feel the melons and sniff a lot of the other fruit and mutter things to yourself under your breath. Eventually you might find a cool MILF.

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: gigapet
I'm not going to rant on and on here. If you are serious and want serious advice. Drop me a PM. Otherwise GL.

if its anything to do with that book in your sig, no thanks

 

[gigapet]

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: gigapet
I'm not going to rant on and on here. If you are serious and want serious advice. Drop me a PM. Otherwise GL.

if its anything to do with that book in your sig, no thanks

i know you didnt read it so I assume you are just judgeing a book by its cover....which is what women are doing wtih you..........shy, no cofidence......he's lame....goodbye.

if you want to discuss this in a mature open minded fashion I will offer my advice to you through pm.

 

[fire400]

there is an MSN section on women, don't pay attention to the sexual relationships ideals, because they will not get you anywhere with women. otherwise everything else is pretty much meat and potatoes with how to meet womena and understand them.

 

[NaOH]

Originally posted by: Hyperblaze

Originally posted by: Cooler
Seems atot needs club DHG

Dateless Hopeless Geeks.

it's all about attitude. No one is ever hopeless.

You are a loser only if you THINK you are loser.

If you are a winner, folks see it. It's really not that complicated.

So true..If you come off as confident then they will see that. I don't think there is anything better than proving that youre confident. That and good looks. But they come hand in hand.

 

[Syrch]

Just do what i do, hit them in the head with a club and drag them home. Sure a little caveman like but it gets the job done.

 

[Zaitsevs]

pics?



i'm shy, not very self-confident,


you know you're good at something, girls don't like lack of self confidence.

 

[pontifex]

we have too many necrophiles here....

 

[NaOH]

Seriously though, just go out and make more friends. I met my current Gf of 4 years in hs through a string of friends. We ended up hanging out with the same group and talked a lot. I ditched staying at home and playing CS tournaments to go out with the girls more often and it ended up with us hooking up. I don't regret a single thing because now I am back doing the things I am interested in like WoW and CS, but I've also found hobbies that we both like (ie tennis and snowboarding). Plus I have a loving GF to share it all with (even though she doesn't care about computer stuff at times). I even got her into CS and she beat out some of my guy friends. I too was shy, but you cant let it drag you down. TRY TO CHANGE AND TAKE THE LEAP. DON"T BE DESPERATE. ENJOY LIFE AND BE SOCIAL AND EVENTUALLY EVERYTHING WILL FALL INTO PLACE. ALSO, DONT BE ONE OF THOSE GUYS WHO ONLY HAVE GIRLFRIENDS.......THATS NOT GIONG TO GET YOU ANYWHERE.

 

[funboy6942]

Originally posted by: pontifex
alright, i broke down and decided to take a pic.

this was taken like 20 minutes ago at like 12:25 AM so i'm not looking my best.

Sigh...me...

take it easy on me

OMG your my fvcking twin!!!!!!!
ME
Grow a beard and a afro and we can hook up!
I sent you a PM on what to do because I was in your same boat
Hell and seeing your picture feel the pain your in beings how were so damn manly looking!

 

[Zaitsevs]

Originally posted by: KarenMarie
you ask where to meet girls. it takes more than just to meet a girl.

i notice that you say that you are shy and not vry self confident. Here is a hint. Shy is cute... no self confidence comes across as desperation for many women. bad thing. There is a nice little pocket between confident and cocky and women love that.

if you are not... fake it till you make it.



oh and trial and error too.

this Lady speaks the truth, I give her kudos for every post she's had in these types of threads. she knows the truth, and is blunt about it.

 

[phantom309]

Originally posted by: AMDUALY

Originally posted by: Hyperblaze

Originally posted by: Cooler
Seems atot needs club DHG

Dateless Hopeless Geeks.

it's all about attitude. No one is ever hopeless.

You are a loser only if you THINK you are loser.

If you are a winner, folks see it. It's really not that complicated.

So true..If you come off as confident then they will see that. I don't think there is anything better than proving that youre confident. That and good looks. But they come hand in hand.

If you know how to talk to women, your looks don't matter very much. If you don't know how to talk to women, your looks are all that matters.

 

[Krazefinn]

Take the oral communications class at local community college, will do wonders with your speaking ability/shyness, plus you'll meet some peers your age and group...
or take any other "hobby" type courses where young women go...
and dont try too hard or come across as desperate.
Cool, confident, compassionate.

Cute pets work, or take one of your friends kids to a park, supermarket, church etc. Both are known to attract ladies seeking a nice guy...

 

[stan394]

Originally posted by: drinkmorejava
You know, out of my two years on here, this has got to be the first relationship thread that actually has a majority of contructive comments. Cheers to anandtech.

same thought. :thumbsup:

 

[swtethan]

Originally posted by: atiyeh

Originally posted by: Nik
Men?

He's not from Oregon, so that would probably rule that option out.

theres nothing wrong with oregon

 

[yhelothar]

Stop going for girls that are really hot that are out of your league.
People tend to get with someone about the same level of attractiveness.
If you don't look like a supermodel, then chances are that girls that look like supermodels won't be interested in you.
Simple as that.

 

[stan394]

I think we need a sticky for this thread