...

[pontifex]

man, these dating services really get you...

"here, fill out this hour long questionaire about yourself and your potential match."
an hour later..."thank you for filling out the questionaire. that'll be $99.99 if you want us to do anything with the info."

wtf??

 

[CraKaJaX]

:laugh:

 

[iamwiz82]

Originally posted by: pontifex
man, these dating services really get you...

"here, fill out this hour long questionaire about yourself and your potential match."
an hour later..."thank you for filling out the questionaire. that'll be $99.99 if you want us to do anything with the info."

wtf??

My co-worker is into these and the stories she has told me have been classic comedy. Everything from guys who want to be dominated to guys who told her that they prefer trashy women.

BTW, those commericals with all of those success stories when it comes to dating services include ALL of the successful couples. The other 100 million failed. get out there and be social. I met my wife when I wasn't even looking, I just happened to be hanging around people who she happened to hang around with.

 

[potato28]

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: harobikes333

Originally posted by: JS80
Are you ugly?

Originally posted by: edro
Pics of self.

Originally posted by: CraKaJaX
start working out.

just post your pic I mean dude if you can't even post your pic on here then why on earth are you even thinking about going out on a date with someone. omg

uh, have you read many posts on this forum? people jump on you and attack you for the smallest thing.

We promise that we won't bite this time!

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: potato28

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: harobikes333

Originally posted by: JS80
Are you ugly?

Originally posted by: edro
Pics of self.

Originally posted by: CraKaJaX
start working out.

just post your pic I mean dude if you can't even post your pic on here then why on earth are you even thinking about going out on a date with someone. omg

uh, have you read many posts on this forum? people jump on you and attack you for the smallest thing.

We promise that we won't bite this time!

yeah, i believe i've heard that one before too...

whats the best way to take a picture of yourself if you don't have someone else to take it for you?

 

[CraKaJaX]

step 1) get camera
step 2) hold camera infront of you
step 3) smile
step 4) press button

OR

step 2) set camera timer
step 3) smile

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: CraKaJaX
step 1) get camera
step 2) hold camera infront of you
step 3) smile
step 4) press button

OR

step 2) set camera timer
step 3) smile

pictures always look crappy when you hold it in front of you though.

 

[Shadowknight]

fastseduction.com

Basically, I used some techniques out of curiosity. I originally thought the be-all and end-all was to get a girlfriend. I used the info to elicit certain responses in women. Being able to manipulate woman (and men, to screw them over in social situations if you're both vying for the same girl) led to me getting a significant amount of self-confidence. Once I got that, I realized the concept of "having a spine" and that the only type of woman I'm interested is the type that the seduction techniques wouldn't work on. I like women, not girls. Unfortunately, at any age, most females are girls, not women. After getting some confidence I realized I'm perfectly happy being alone, playing with my cats, messing around with my computer. You don't NEED another person to be happy. It's actually less stressful because you don't have to worry about personality conflicts and such.

 

[harobikes333]

waiting for the pic dude

 

[pontifex]

alright, i broke down and decided to take a pic.

this was taken like 20 minutes ago at like 12:25 AM so i'm not looking my best.

Sigh...me...

take it easy on me

 

[harobikes333]

see now was that so bad ^ ^

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: harobikes333
see now was that so bad ^ ^

not yet...i'm just waiting for whats going to come later on...

 

[PHiuR]

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: CraKaJaX
step 1) get camera
step 2) hold camera infront of you
step 3) smile
step 4) press button

OR

step 2) set camera timer
step 3) smile

pictures always look crappy when you hold it in front of you though.

negative.

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: PHiuR

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: CraKaJaX
step 1) get camera
step 2) hold camera infront of you
step 3) smile
step 4) press button

OR

step 2) set camera timer
step 3) smile

pictures always look crappy when you hold it in front of you though.

negative.

hmm..must just be me then...

 

[potato28]

Its ur additude towards socializing man. Just go out and have fun. If needed, go to a internet cafe instead of a bar or a club. Or any other place that you would feel the most comfortable, BESIDES your house. EDIT:: And as I said, WE WONT BITE!

 

[TheShiz]

get in shape. i'm serious, it will boost your confidence 10 fold. it ain't easy but it gets results.

 

[I Saw OJ]

Originally posted by: TheShiz
get in shape. i'm serious, it will boost your confidence 10 fold. it ain't easy but it gets results.

QFT

Hit up a gym, or do some push-ups/lunges around the house. You will start seeing changes, that will boost your confidence.

Its all about confidence, women can sense when you do have it, and they can sense when you don?t, you cant fool them. I was in a similar boat you are in, I started hitting up a gym, and just being social with everyone!

Remember, confidence is key, get that, and everything else will fall into place.

 

[harobikes333]

o and don't be over confident/ aka a snob, stuck up, cocky

 

[Rogodin2]

You're not a bad looking guy-you just need to feel confident about yourself. And confidence comes from many different aspects of your "I" - it's not just physical.

Do whatever makes you feel good about yourself-do NOT wallow in self-pity or self-complacency; it is very dangerous (know first hand - just went through a divorce).

I rebounded after a year of seperation by getting back in shape (somewhat) starting a new corporation (3 dbas), started drawing and writing again, and rereading my favorite philosophers. It was too late to save my marriage but I'm getting asked out at work now so I know it's working.

Just find yourself !

Goodluck

Rogo

 

[shortylickens]

Dude, I'm just about the exact same age and had the same problems.

The biggest thing is to not get down on yourself when rejected. Women can sense desperation and fear. Its part of their finely honed instincts to get the strongest mate.
Just keep trying to better yourself in different ways. Try things you've never done before and go unusual places to meet girls. Clubs and bars do NOT provide good girlfriend material. They are good for one-night-stands. Which is OK, now and again.
I know a guy that met his current wife when he got into skydiving.

Above all, I try to remember the advice of a lady pal who said "you marry your best friend". Dont try to go looking for a soul mate. Go out with the purpose of making lots of nice lady friends in various areas (library, volunteer groups, skydiving clubs). Eventually those lady friends will like enough to introduce you around. Keep your spirits up and one of them may show a real interest in you and become your girlfriend. The movies where some guy and girl lock eyes across a crowded room and marry happily ever after are BS. 99% of all marriages I know happened because of mutual friends. You should meet people and network.
Networking is also how most good jobs are filled. NOT by want ads in the paper. Which brings me to my second point. I dont know any couples (happy or otherwise) who started with personal ads. I'm not knocking them, I'm just saying I havent seen them work for anybody. Despite what the WWW would like me to believe.

EDIT: To put it simply, get out there, make friends. It improves your confidence and that is way sexier to women than just about anything else.
Ladies? Back me up here?

 

[drinkmorejava]

You know, out of my two years on here, this has got to be the first relationship thread that actually has a majority of contructive comments. Cheers to anandtech.

 

[shortylickens]

Originally posted by: drinkmorejava
You now, out of my two years on here, this has got to be the first relationship thread that actually has a majority of contructive comments. Cheers to anandtech.

AHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGG!
Dont jinx it!

 

[BriGy86]

Originally posted by: pontifex
alright, i broke down and decided to take a pic.

this was taken like 20 minutes ago at like 12:25 AM so i'm not looking my best.

Sigh...me...

take it easy on me

just by this post i can tell you aren't confident about yourself,

feel good about yourself and pick some of your strengths, you need to pretty much brag about them, being funny is also a plus

your not completely hopless, unless you keep up your current attitude

 

[yobarman]

Originally posted by: pontifex
alright, i broke down and decided to take a pic.

this was taken like 20 minutes ago at like 12:25 AM so i'm not looking my best.

Sigh...me...

take it easy on me

Listen guy, you're an average looking joe. I've seen guys that look like you with some pretty classy women. There's nothing hideous about you that would prevent girls from talking to you... so whats the problem? Oh yeah... you have very little self confidence! There are a number of ways to boost self confidence (trust me it can be done... i'm a little chunky and have no problem talking to girls)

A.) Some people have mentioned to get into the gym. this always help self confidence... don't do it for the ladies though... do it for yourself. as a personal favor to yourself.... you'll begin to respect yourself more.. no one is going to respect you if you don't respect yourself.
B.) take notfred's advice. Start small. Just learn to get good at small talk. If you see a conversation start to go south... whatever, say something stupid that will make the other person laugh or creep them out completely. who cares!

Don't worry if you're not the most interesting person. Wanna know the secret? THIS GOES FOR ANYONE WHO HAS TROUBLE TALKING TO PEOPLE: LEARN TO LISTEN. People love to talk about themselves. They are their own favorite subject. Really listen to what they are saying and ... here's the important part... ask questions! People leave clues as to what they're interested in, what they do, and what their goals and ambitions are with every word they say. From that you can ask questions about themselves. Keep things positive. If you're having trouble use this simple formula :
FORD (Family, Occupation, Relationships, Desires). Pretty stupid yeah but it gives you something to talk about. Remember, keep the convo positive and just get out there dork!

 

[bryantp]

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: Eghck

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: Eghck
"i'm shy, not very self-confident"

thats your biggest problem. If even you can't see your self worth, why or how would any girl?

yeah, probably. i just don't know how to fix that either.

well Im not here to boost your ego, but you've said yourself that you've been on serveral dates. So that means you aren't hopeless. Even if they went nowhere, some people have a hard enough time going on 1 date.

As for talking to girls, do you think you're interesting? An easy way to tell is do you have any good stories to share about yourself?

in a word - no.
my job is not interesting. i don't have any interesting hobbies or do anything that anyone except another geek/nerd would find interesting.

Lunch is an EXCEPTINAL option for first "dates" - Lunch can be as long or as short as you would like it .. plus there are so many "outs" - have to get back to work, have to run errands, meeting up with some friends ...

Another way to help the chatting is to remember an acronym
FORM
Family
Occupation
Recretaion
Motivation
These topics offer great places to start a conversation - from there you find that you both enoy the online games (recreation) or that you both have siblings (family) - now you can chat about the game or chat about funny stories of the little/older brother/sister.

Always remember to keep the converstation, AND THE EYES, on her.

Another rule of thumb would be - you only get a hit if you take a swing.

Chances are she might not be interested - but neither of you have a chance unless someone steps up to the plate