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How about be happy you have a job and if you don't like the one you're in, actively look for another one and quit? Oh wait you want to have your cake and eat it too.
 
be annoying and gross as possible


suggestions to get you going


1. Wear the same shirt for 6 week straight, make sure the underarm of your dress shirt has sweat stains
2. Constantly give your boss suggestions on how she can increase her productivity
3. Stuff several pairs of gym socks down the front of your pants
4. Wear tin foil hats whenever you access the company intranet
5. Get a different temporary tattoo for every day of the week on your forehead
6. Whenever you go to the bathroom use the handicap stall and grunt as loud as you can
7. Tuck a trail of toilet of paper in the waist of your pants (the rear works best)
 
8. Clip out pictures of various farm animals and frame them for the desk of your cubicle (bonus points if you actually pose with a farm animal in one of the pictures)
 
Seriously.. Just talk to your boss about it. Mention that you would like to explore the opportunity, and that you are thinking about it. My company is going through similiar situation, & they make it easy to get laid off.. Yours might as well, but you just don't know about it.
 
Originally posted by: Fatdog
Originally posted by: SampSon
Request to be laidoff? Uh, right.
Click to expand...
Actually, you'd be surprised how many people ask for it. Especially here at HP where lay-offs are an Olympic sport for management looking to slash costs and look good for Carly.
Click to expand...

The trick is to NOT 'ask for it', as that's resigning and they can cut your salary without giving you diddly.

Trick is to let those in power know that if you WERE layed off instead of another employee, it might be inconvenient, but wouldn't be the end of the world to you.

Best bet is to find someone in management you are on a casual basis with and do lunch with, mention in passing how concerned you are that 'xx', who is being considered layed off as an alternate to you, would be in a bad way if they lost their job.

Also, make sure you express no desire to stay with the company, but no desire to leave on your own. Like, if someone asks "Where do you see yourself in a few years" reply something like "I dunno, maybe here, maybe another company, I'm rather indifferent".
 
I'd always keep a job until i can find another one, no matter how much i hate it (which i do now) =/

who knows, a promotion may actually be in place for you. i'd just hang out for a bit more until a new job is available... then you can quit.
 
Originally posted by: Arkitech
be annoying and gross as possible


suggestions to get you going


1. Wear the same shirt for 6 week straight, make sure the underarm of your dress shirt has sweat stains
2. Constantly give your boss suggestions on how she can increase her productivity
3. Stuff several pairs of gym socks down the front of your pants
4. Wear tin foil hats whenever you access the company intranet
5. Get a different temporary tattoo for every day of the week on your forehead
6. Whenever you go to the bathroom use the handicap stall and grunt as loud as you can
7. Tuck a trail of toilet of paper in the waist of your pants (the rear works best)
Click to expand...

Seeing as Tomato = Dezign = female... half of those would get you to a psyche ward faster than getting you laid off.
 
Originally posted by: sniperruff
I'd always keep a job until i can find another one, no matter how much i hate it (which i do now) =/
Click to expand...

:thumbsup:

At least start a job search before you try to get laid off. From previous threads, I know you have a wedding in the near future and may have some tight financial situations. Bad time to be jobless. 😉
 
Originally posted by: Slacker
All your questions are answered by two films. First, watch "American Beauty" then "Office Space" in case the American Beauty scenario doesnt work for ya.
Click to expand...

LOL at the American Beauty Scenario. I always loved that part. He was my hero.
 
tomato,

PM me if needed. I've been throught the exact same scenario.

If you are in tight with any higher ups then flat ask to take the severance. Otherwise they'll squeeze every last ounce of work out of you possible because "you're valued".

Make sure anything and everything is in writing and don't sign crap until you have an attorney. You will be forced to "resign" in which case you lose all unemployment benefits. DO NOT BE BULLIED INTO RESIGNING. In the mean time make an appointment with a career counelsor for your best course of action, not ATOT.

<---took 4 years to get severance from last job, bought out and promised the moon - instead everybody got the shaft and no money.
 
If they company does interviews to decide who to lay off that is your best chance just act very uninterested in the lay off's and your job and you will very likely be gone, worked for a friend who got his severance and the same job for a different company 2 weeks later so getting layed off was just like a big bonus.
 
perform poorly, but to the point of them just telling you that you're not meeting up to the standards that they want you to be at.
 
Originally posted by: Fatdog
Originally posted by: SampSon
Request to be laidoff? Uh, right.
Click to expand...

Actually, you'd be surprised how many people ask for it. Especially here at HP where lay-offs are an Olympic sport for management looking to slash costs and look good for Carly.
Click to expand...

same thing happens at my company. the MO for old guys who are ready to retire is to volunteer to be layed off. then they get a fat severance in addition to their retirement plan/401k.
 
When we had layoffs where I worked, they asked for volunteers first, then started laying off by low senority and (redundant) positions.
 
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