.

[emb09]

Originally posted by: JackDawkins
^ What she said ^

Ask questions and pretend you're captivated by her answers. Keep pretending interest as long as you can and, if you do this well enough, you get to have sex and then do it all over again in the near future.

so in other words, treat a date or girlfriend/boyfriend the same way you treat your wife or husband?

 

[emb09]

Originally posted by: CeruleanFall
Two words: Be yourself!!!

just don't fart or pick your nose until you have been seeing each other for quite some time.

 

[SaigonK]

Well, we have emailed a couple of times, my friends wife had a picutre of me from about a week ago, so she showed it to her. She thinks I am cute/good looking. Nice to think someone still does.
Now we are just trying to work out all the details on when and where to meet. I still do not know what she looks like, my friends wife says she is cute, that everyone thinks she is pretty...but it isnt that important... (right?)

 

[alkemyst]

looks are definitely important....however no picture will suffice. That whole what's on the inside that matters is definitely true, but it's often touted by only the ugly people. Also it only matters for relationships on long-term considerations....if you are out to have fun, just how much of the inside are you going to discover other than by touch?

The thing is all this non-sensical correspondance prior to a date only has both of you playing fairy-tale in their heads. You build up things and then it possibly propels a failed relationship forward. If I am introduced blindly, I exchange an email sending my pic and ask for theirs, if I like it I set the date to meet, if I don't I will politely say I am not looking for anything right now, but a friend is ok. (This is all previous to my marriage): In chats I try to get a pic early on, her looks will definitely decide where I go with it. If I am interested I will ask her out quick and discover if the pic is true. When you chat and chat and exchange a ton of emails you create a world that may not exist.

Pick a spot and meet up, eat/drink/whatever and decide.

That's all there is too it. This relationship is probably doomed already being it's the rebound, however, it could succeed. If you don't 'like' her let her know, if you just want a physical thing run it by her....but be honest. I have met more women more interested in a fling than a committed relationship.

Just don't go playing mr. knight of chivalry and send her home as you "don't want her to rush into anything"...she is an adult let her decide the fate of her ovaries. If you have reservations then state yours . If she calls you a prude or freak so be it.

Å

 

[SaigonK]

Originally posted by: alkemyst
looks are definitely important....however no picture will suffice. That whole what's on the inside that matters is definitely true, but it's often touted by only the ugly people. Also it only matters for relationships on long-term considerations....if you are out to have fun, just how much of the inside are you going to discover other than by touch? The thing is all this non-sensical correspondance prior to a date only has both of you playing fairy-tale in their heads. You build up things and then it possibly propels a failed relationship forward. If I am introduced blindly, I exchange an email sending my pic and ask for theirs, if I like it I set the date to meet, if I don't I will politely say I am not looking for anything right now, but a friend is ok. (This is all previous to my marriage): In chats I try to get a pic early on, her looks will definitely decide where I go with it. If I am interested I will ask her out quick and discover if the pic is true. When you chat and chat and exchange a ton of emails you create a world that may not exist. Pick a spot and meet up, eat/drink/whatever and decide. That's all there is too it. This relationship is probably doomed already being it's the rebound, however, it could succeed. If you don't 'like' her let her know, if you just want a physical thing run it by her....but be honest. I have met more women more interested in a fling than a committed relationship. Just don't go playing mr. knight of chivalry and send her home as you "don't want her to rush into anything"...she is an adult let her decide the fate of her ovaries. If you have reservations then state yours . If she calls you a prude or freak so be it. Å

As usual the alk was right! She is a very nice girl, the conversation was good, but she just doesnt do it for me visually. I know that sounds shallow, but it is the truth.
I could see myself asking her out to dinner, and maybe some fooling around, but besides that type of scenario, it just would not work out.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: SaigonK


As usual the alk was right! She is a very nice girl, the conversation was good, but she just doesnt do it for me visually. I know that sounds shallow, but it is the truth.
I could see myself asking her out to dinner, and maybe some fooling around, but besides that type of scenario, it just would not work out.

That's the best thing...it's a lot better than 3 weeks later the night after some crazy sex to tell her. Most people accept this, and would rather it happen sooner than painfully later. You can put two people that just won male and female 'looks' contests and they find each other repulsive. It's true what's on the inside that counts if you are looking for more than a night....but they still need to be 'packaged' well.

I have been rejected myself by homely girls, I have been rejected telling me I don't talk enough for them or something else absurd. I have rejected beautiful girls that were so full of themselves they got in a fight with me over it "You are telling me YOU are not interested, I am BEAUTIFUL, YOU'D be lucky if I were to even GIVE YOU a second date"....

Drama queens can be fun occasionally though.

Best bet is even if they are being a bish, say thanks and leave it at that, getting defensive even if they are wrong makes one sound needy.

That's another big one I heard from older chicks "hey it's obvious neither of us are meeting anyone else these days, why don't we just accept ..." Now it's sort of sad, some of these chicks you realize why they are in that boat....they look nice, just kill the mood with complaining or lack of interest/humor/discussion/knowledge. There are guys like this too, I got into some single groups and I found just being happy and talkative got you so much attention. You'd have a ton of wallflowers all commiserating their terrible existances and then a handful of party people dancing it up. While not every 'local' singles meet I hooked up with a g/f or 'take out', I always had fun....now the bigger meetings that took place in miami or orlando, etc those I would usually 'score' if I wanted to. I found most people taking the 'trek' were looking to have fun...it's discreet as chances are both people will never see each other again if that's one's problem back home.

Most people get that way because they don't go out. I talked to a lot of older people (late 20's to mid 30's+) and they think it's childish / dangerous to go to a bar or club...I don't know, seems unless I am introduced through friends I don't meet to many in groceries or the bank, etc.

Å

 

[SaigonK]

Exactly! I go to bars with my friends, but what are the chances I will meet someone except for a one night stand? Probbaly pretty slim to be honest.
Most people I know tell me I will be just fine, and that not to worry about dating anyone, it will happen sooner than later.

This girl thinks I am cute, handsome, etc. She isnt bad looking, but it isnt what I picutred (as you stated earlier) in my mind. Dillusions of grandeur!
I would be open to "scoring" with her, but I dont get the feeling that she would be open to that...I might be wrong there....or she might be the type that would get attached right off the bat.

She emailed me this morning and said she had a good time, and made some sexual innuendos at the same time, she is honest that she like sto have sex, so that is nice to say the least.
My ex-wife (or soon to be as it were..) was very tight lipped about that type of thing and what was good.

I might go out with her on a second date and maybe we can both "get lucky" and move on...who knows!

 

[Siddhartha]

I have dated soon after breaking up a SO, and have dated women who had recently broken up with a SO.

I was not ready to see someone else that soon after the break up so I wasn't paying attention to my date.

The couple of times I have dated someone who had recently broken up with a SO they actually talked about their ex during the date. This one woman started crying because I was reminding her of her ex. I have avoided similar situations ever since.

 

[SaigonK]

Originally posted by: Dr Smooth
I have dated soon after breaking up a SO, and have dated women who had recently broken up with a SO. I was not ready to see someone else that soon after the break up so I wasn't paying attention to my date. The couple of times I have dated someone who had recently broken up with a SO they actually talked about their ex during the date. This one woman started crying because I was reminding her of her ex. I have avoided similar situations ever since.

Damn! Thats rough! Nothing like that here, although if that did happen I would be all wiered out!

 

[Geekbabe]

I have been rejected telling me I don't talk enough for them or something else absurd

lol,alkemyst,the thought of you EVER running out of things to pontificate about is absurd!

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

I have been rejected telling me I don't talk enough for them or something else absurd

lol,alkemyst,the thought of you EVER running out of things to pontificate about is absurd!

exactly...

 

Dating never changes.

 

[SaigonK]

Originally posted by: SampSon
Dating never changes.

You are correct!
I "broke" the news to her last night after I got home, emailed her and she is fine with it. She was just not my type.
Now they have another friend who is interested.