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imported_Tomato

Diamond Member
When I was a freshman in college, I dated a slightly older guy (25) who became very emotionally attached, very quickly. I've posted a few times about him before... this is the same man who made me the sole benefactor of his life insurance policy after we'd dated for one month, and the same man who offered to pay me a few hundred in exchange for a game of Yahoo! chess with him (in an attempt to talk to/communicate with me again).

I haven't spoken to him, literally, in years. He lives in Boston, I now live in Los Angeles. He still tracks me online, though... he found my online journal, and I'm not sure if he reads this, but I wouldn't doubt it if he did.

Anyway... I recently posted about not being able to afford a plane ticket home for Christmas. It was my fault... I didn't buy a ticket in time, and even though some very kind-hearted ATOT-ers attempted to help, prices were just too high ($500+). I was going to volunteer at a soup kitchen instead, which wouldn't be that bad, but I haven't seen my family in months, and this is one of few times we'll all have the chance to be together again (another sister is off at college, and it's hard to coordinate).

My ex e-mailed me out of nowhere today, from a link on my online journal. He wants to buy my plane ticket home, and typed: "Don't worry Ivy, you will be home for christmas, I promise, and I have never broken a promise to you".

I'm conflicted, and not sure whether or not to accept the ticket, which will undoubtedly run $500-600. What would be the "right" thing to do?

UPDATE: I didn't reply to his e-mails, and he's been sending them non-stop. The most recent e-mail INCLUDES AN ITINERARY. He BOUGHT THE TICKET IN MY NAME... and I guess now I have to decide whether or not to use it. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.... don't know what to do don't know what to do have no clue what to do... do I refuse to accept it and the e-ticket goes wasted? UGH.

UPDATE 2: *sigh* Thank you for the feedback and advice. At this point, I'm trying to decide on an appropriate response. Still can't believe the lengths some people will go to in order to attempt to salvage something lost long, long ago.
 
Wow, that's a tough one. I'm not sure that it'd be ok to let him buy you a ticket. I do know how much you want to be home for Chirstmas, however.

Why not ask your family what they think?
 
No brainer. Don't accept the plane ticket.

Letting this guy back into your life in anyway is bad and it's especially bad for you to let him do a favor for you. He's only going to feel that you "owe" him.
 
I'd say always trust your instincts. If your instincts tell you no, then don't it. So far, it sounds like your instincts are telling you NOT to accept it. This guy is trying to PWN you and basically accepting the ticket is basically saying, "Alright you can PWN ME"
 
I've had to look into getting a restraining order for more than one person I've dated in the past. I don't know why, but I seem to attract extremely emotional/unstable types. Normally I wouldn't even open an e-mail from this ex, but in this case, I want to go home for Christmas quite badly. If I do accept his offer then, he might see it as a green light to come back into my life, which is NOT what I want at all.
 
No, and you honestly don't need the ATOT to help solve this problem. like pulse8 said, no brainer.
 
If you don't want him back in your life, I don't think it'd be right for you to accept the ticket.
 
Originally posted by: Dezign
I've had to look into getting a restraining order for more than one person I've dated in the past. I don't know why, but I seem to attract extremely emotional/unstable types.
Click to expand...

I'm stable and have a steady job. When would you like to meet? 😀

j/k 😉
 
Originally posted by: Azraele
Wow, that's a tough one. I'm not sure that it'd be ok to let him buy you a ticket. I do know how much you want to be home for Chirstmas, however.

Why not ask your family what they think?
Click to expand...

I really do, Azraele. And my family would most definitely say no... my ex still scares my sisters sometimes by randomly IM-ing them, and he's called my family so many times in the past they've had to change their number. They wouldn't approve, no matter how much they want to see me, too.

Looks like the general consensus is overwhelmingly in favor of NOT accepting the ticket. That's what I was leaning towards. If I can't find my own way of getting home, it looks like I'll be volunteering at a soup kitchen. And I didn't post for validation to accept the ticket, I was genuinely conflicted and hoping for words of wisdom/sound advice smacked into me, which you guys never fail to provide. 😛 Thanks.
 
This guy is beyond loser. People joke about the lonely nerd who lives in his mom's basement and post on forums all day. This guy is even worst than that. Good God, how do people become that way.
 
I can't believe you even have to ask this question. And yes, if you do accept, know that he WILL be at the airport, whether you see him there or not.
 
Don't give him any more reason to feel attached to you. Refuse the ticket, and let your family know that you will try to get home when its more affordable.
 
Not a good idea Ivy . In this guys mind you would be validating a reason for him to open communication back up with you. I feel badly that you will not get to see your family but accepting his offer which would also essentially be using him, isn't the way to go about it. A tough break but don't do it.
 
Why don't you start up a "Send Dezign Home for the Holidays" fund? Or go with my original suggestion to DRIVE over there.. (ROAD TRIP)... won't take more than 2-3 days to drive there.. I've done a road trip from Oregon to LA before... it was long and difficult but I made it...
 
Originally posted by: TommyVercetti
This guy is beyond loser. People joke about the lonely nerd who lives in his mom's basement and post on forums all day. This guy is even worst than that. Good God, how do people become that way.
Click to expand...

I wish I knew, Tommy. I really wish I knew, so I could pass on the info and they would stop being that way. It's really an unhealthy way to live.
 
i dont know if you should take it or not, i'm just here to say i wish people offered to buy me stuff 🙂
 
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