Your thoughts on this

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oddyager

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May 21, 2005
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Let's say you are in a situation where someone helped out your folks in some way (assisted with medical bills, paid a debt, random stuff beyond your control). As a son or daughter, do you feel an obligation that you'll help out this person in return when he asks for it? It could be something trivial or something like helping out with his taxes. Helping him out once or a few times is fine but what if this occurs over a period of time (years) where he's always asking your folks to ask you if you could help him out with the same task? Do you draw a line somewhere?
 

nace186

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Sep 16, 2006
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If it's unnecessary help, then no. If you needed the help, then you certainly own them a favor.
 

Texashiker

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Dec 18, 2010
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Let's say you are in a situation where someone helped out your folks in some way (assisted with medical bills, paid a debt, random stuff beyond your control). As a son or daughter, do you feel an obligation that you'll help out this person in return when he asks for it?

Yes.

There is a term for this, its called "passing it down". When you receive an act of kindness, pass that act down to someone else.
 

kranky

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
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Depends on how intense and frequent the requests are and whether they present a hardship to you. How often and how much time involved?
 

DesiPower

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Nov 22, 2008
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Anyone making helping out someone out of goodwill should not have any expectation in return. If he/she does then the help they initially provided is no more a goodwill but a cunning act. So if I were in that situation, i would help that person two or three times but that's it, after that, if needed, I would be rude to that person
 

coldmeat

Diamond Member
Jul 10, 2007
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Your parents should have known better than to get involved with the mafia.
 

mvbighead

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Apr 20, 2009
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Depends on how much the difference is to me. If the guy gave your folks 500 for whatever, I'd probably feel somewhat obligated to provide the equivalent amount of service or pay back to even things up. But again, he was being generous to help your folks, and that does not require you to do the same in return.

Best bet is to use your own judgment. Just know you're not obligated to. My folks' trade services with their neighbors. He'll come over and trim grass, during the winter my dad would go an blade their driveway (tractor blade). At some point, they started asking me for help computer wise, which I helped from time to time. But then I moved out and they were still asking for help. Eventually I just stopped. I wasn't receiving any favors nor payment, and my time with my family (when I go back home) is important to me. If your situation is similar, simply just let the man know you are busy. Simple as that.
 
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