Well the relationship working wouldn't be bad and that seems to be the only possibility of it right now. But yea I could see bad things arising if it doesn't work out.
you cannot be friends afterwards, sorry.
Distance yourself.. slowly. Busy with school more, get a job. Live life without her. She'll feel left out and find someone else and leave you.
Distance yourself.. slowly. Busy with school more, get a job. Live life without her. She'll feel left out and find someone else and leave you.
Yes they are, it all depends on how you show it though. Let her know that you care and then it will be fine.
Go out for a night with you buddy .. She stays home so she can work at 7am ... Then don't come home .. she wakes up at 4am to find you not in bed; shes crying, hysterical, calling hospitals because its so unlike you not to be home by 130-200 am ish. Then be at the casino, fast forward and do it again 6 months later .. welcome to my world at 6am HOPING thats where he is but, hes DONE.
I don't want to freaking piss her off.. and I want to hurt her as little as possible
also.. we've talked about this briefly before. she ends up talking me into staying... things about how "if I really cared I would deal with the long distance thing"... I really DO care.. but I REALLY can't take the long distance thing anymore
kranky
Elite Member
- Oct 9, 1999
- 21,019
- 156
- 106
Well, look. You are searching for a way to break it off without hurting her - and that's just not going to happen.
It's great that you respect her feelings to that degree, but you can't be responsible for how she might feel. If she feels hurt, there's really nothing you can do about it.
Absolutely the best way is to just tell her how you feel. You can't continue with a LD relationship, you're sorry that it worked out this way, but you have to break it off. When she says if you really cared you'd deal with it, just say that you wished that was true, but it's not, and you can't continue the relationship.
And I'd also recommend not making a huge effort to remain friends. Keep it casual and avoid frequent contact (phone/email/IM) because it's only going to make things harder for her and you both.
She'll probably cry, demand to know if there's someone else, beg you to tell her what she needs to do to get you to change your mind. Stand your ground. You can do that and not be mean.
You know it's not working out, so do both of you a favor and finish it now. Letting things drag on is not going to help anything.
It's great that you respect her feelings to that degree, but you can't be responsible for how she might feel. If she feels hurt, there's really nothing you can do about it.
Absolutely the best way is to just tell her how you feel. You can't continue with a LD relationship, you're sorry that it worked out this way, but you have to break it off. When she says if you really cared you'd deal with it, just say that you wished that was true, but it's not, and you can't continue the relationship.
And I'd also recommend not making a huge effort to remain friends. Keep it casual and avoid frequent contact (phone/email/IM) because it's only going to make things harder for her and you both.
She'll probably cry, demand to know if there's someone else, beg you to tell her what she needs to do to get you to change your mind. Stand your ground. You can do that and not be mean.
You know it's not working out, so do both of you a favor and finish it now. Letting things drag on is not going to help anything.
Damn, you are pathetic. Kids these days and throwin the L word around. Two years and it took you that long to figure out that long distance won't work. I really respect that she loves you so much to deal with the distance and hopin for a better and closer future. We need more girls like her. She is better off with someone more mature and dedicated. Peace.
Then you REALLY don't care enough.
The only reason something like this would trouble you (in my opinion) is that you see an opportunity to hit on all the girls around you and yet you want to be loyal to your girlfriend.
You have to decide...
If you REALLY care for her then you will suck up your feelings find a way to make it work.
The other choice is you don't want to make the effort and would rather break up. If that's the case, just tell her and be done with the relationship.
Sounds exactly like our relationship. We've been together now for over 4 years and still not married. I don't think I'm going to marry her either..sad.
PingSpike
Lifer
- Feb 25, 2004
- 21,758
- 603
- 126
Accept the fact you don't really care enough to make it work. Otherwise, you wouldn't be asking this question. The only reason you're still here is because you don't want to be the bad guy, which is a crap reason to have a relationship continue.
Relationships are about selfishness at their core, thats why we seek them in the first place. If this is becoming a drain, then you know what to do.
meltdown75
Lifer
- Nov 17, 2004
- 37,548
- 7
- 81
That's exactly what I think.. I live an hour and a half from my girlfriend that is still in college. We're going on two years now. And since she went away from school and is from here - we compromise.. We alternate weekends going back and forth. That's what you have to do in relationships. Yeah, sometimes it sucks, but you do it becuase you care for the other person. I think you may have another motive to break up with your girlfriend if you haven't talked about the distance issue before, which I find kinda hard to believe if you have been together for over two years.
2Cents.end();
HomeBrewerDude
Lifer
- Jan 18, 2001
- 14,465
- 1
- 0
TheLonelyPhoenix
Diamond Member
- Feb 15, 2004
- 5,594
- 1
- 0
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