Your oddest tech support calls

[Steve]

Okay, I just had an interesting call - a customer asking how to properly insert a new video card.

Me: "Line up the connecting edge with the slot, and gently push down along the top edge."
He: "Okay....it went in! It's in now"
Me: "It's in straight? No diagonal edges?"
He: "Nope, it's in straight."
Me: "Okay, then start up your computer."
He: "Oh, it's already running!"
Me: "What?"
He: "Yeah, I'm at my desktop!"

<sigh>

 

[VictorLazlo]

Talking to a smart ass who thinks he knows everything, but still has to call me every day for advice.
He's messing around with device manager:

ME: What are you looking for?
HIM: I'm looking for a device thats not showing up.
ME: What kind of device is it?
HIM: I don't know.
ME: ...

 

[Trey22]

Oddest/scariest one ever was when a client had a heart attack while we were on the phone troubleshooting his system.

 

[puffff]

MOM: How do i turn on the computer?
ME: There should be a power button on the computer case, just press that.
MOM: It's not working.
ME: What happens when you press it?
MOM: An orange light comes on, but nothing shows up on the screen.
(after a moment of thinking)
ME: Press the power button on the computer case, not the monitor. The computer case should probably on the floor somewhere.

 

[Looney]

I had somebody call in just this morning complaining he didn't like the word BLACKLIST and WHITELIST on our webmail. Said it was racist!

 

[Steve]

Just got a call from someone who complained of no image on their screen, despite installing a new video card and following the instructions "to the letter." Turns out he didn't have the monitor connected to the new card. After explaining that it needed to be, he then asked if new sound cards were the same way.

 

[tRaptor]

more!

 

[Farvacola]

I once had a question concerning a laptop i purchased, but when the guy I called answered, he told me that if the laptop wasnt on my lap, it would never work. CRAZY INDIAN TECH PEOPLE!

 

[ggavinmoss]

<mom> The Internet is broken.
<me> Alright, let's try some things... but first make sure the router is plugged in.
<mom> Of course it is.
<me> OK, ... [me trying a bunch of different things for 15 minutes]
<me> So when you do X, Y, and Z the lights on the router stay the same?
<mom> The lights aren't on on the router.
<me> Mom, trace the power cord to the wall and so help me God if it's not plugged in...
<mom> ...



-geoff

 

[Gurck]

This is scary stuff... I can barely handle tech support for family &amp; friends without blowing up (and do occasionally), and couldn't handle doing it as my job...

 

[Steve]

Somebody called last week trying to get an old PCI card working. At some point he mentioned "Oh, and this is for a Mac, by the way."

"Sir? We do not make or support any Mac products. That card should not even work in a Mac."

"Yes you do! It says right on your website."

"Which website are you looking at?"

"ati.com"

(I work for a vidcard maker, but not for ATi itself)

 

[SagaLore]

Originally posted by: Hardcore
I had somebody call in just this morning complaining he didn't like the word BLACKLIST and WHITELIST on our webmail. Said it was racist!

I never quite thought of it that way. I guess we could call it Blocklist and Passlist?

 

[CPA]

Originally posted by: ggavinmoss
<mom> The Internet is broken.
<me> Alright, let's try some things... but first make sure the router is plugged in.
<mom> Of course it is.
<me> OK, ... [me trying a bunch of different things for 15 minutes]
<me> So when you do X, Y, and Z the lights on the router stay the same?
<mom> The lights aren't on on the router.
<me> Mom, trace the power cord to the wall and so help me God if it's not plugged in...
<mom> ...



-geoff

I hope you smacked her with a rolled up newspaper.

 

[GasX]

Originally posted by: SagaLore

Originally posted by: Hardcore
I had somebody call in just this morning complaining he didn't like the word BLACKLIST and WHITELIST on our webmail. Said it was racist!

I never quite thought of it that way. I guess we could call it Blocklist and Passlist?

Or we could tell the caller that he is a stupid retard...

 

[trilks]

Originally posted by: Mwilding

Originally posted by: SagaLore

Originally posted by: Hardcore
I had somebody call in just this morning complaining he didn't like the word BLACKLIST and WHITELIST on our webmail. Said it was racist!

I never quite thought of it that way. I guess we could call it Blocklist and Passlist?

Or we could tell the caller that he is a stupid retard...

Blacklist and whitelist have NOTHING TO DO WITH RACE so go tell him to STFU.

 

[AyashiKaibutsu]

Originally posted by: SagaLore

Originally posted by: Hardcore
I had somebody call in just this morning complaining he didn't like the word BLACKLIST and WHITELIST on our webmail. Said it was racist!

I never quite thought of it that way. I guess we could call it Blocklist and Passlist?

Then we would offend football players.

 

[Ogg]

Originally posted by: Mwilding

Originally posted by: SagaLore

Originally posted by: Hardcore
I had somebody call in just this morning complaining he didn't like the word BLACKLIST and WHITELIST on our webmail. Said it was racist!

I never quite thought of it that way. I guess we could call it Blocklist and Passlist?

Or we could tell the caller that he is a stupid retard...

Im gonna sue your ass pal!:|

 

[GasX]

Why don't we call it negrolist and crackerlist and give that jackass something to talk about...

 

[MercenaryForHire]

Originally posted by: Mwilding
Why don't we call it negrolist and crackerlist and give that jackass something to talk about...

Seriously, there needs to be a better anti-Whitey slur. I'm sick of Cracker - it's just lost all effect.

- M4H

 

[Gurck]

Originally posted by: SagaLore

Originally posted by: Hardcore
I had somebody call in just this morning complaining he didn't like the word BLACKLIST and WHITELIST on our webmail. Said it was racist!

I never quite thought of it that way. I guess we could call it Blocklist and Passlist?

There's a point where you have to stop nitpicking so much. Iirc there was someone filing a lawsuit against hard drive manufacturers for the master / slave model :roll:

 

[Nocturnal]

I provide tech support and customer service for Time Warner Cable. A lady called me the other day asking about the romance channel. We used to give customers maybe three days to view the channel free of charge. This was many years ago. She called and was bitching about why she doesn't see the previews anymore and that she wants the romance channel. The closest I could find was the "Love Story Channel" and I told her so. She got very upset and said that that is not the channel she was looking for. She continued to babble about nothing then I asked her if she wanted to add the Love Story Channel package. She then began to ask me about the channe Flix. She then began to say that there is swearing on that channel and that it "sensitizes" (not desensitizes) her to swear words. The she went into this ramble about kids and how none of the kids today are good kids, they're all bad and that she is a Christian and that she cannot watch Flix because it has horrible language.

That is all.

 

[Supermercado]

My dad works tech support for the school here in town and this wasn't a work order he received but he said it happened to someone he works with. Someone was having trouble getting their computer to power up so they sent someone out to look at it. They checked all the connections and everything was okay, checked the surge protector and everything that needed to be plugged in was plugged in... problem was, the surge protector was plugged into itself.

 

[trilks]

Originally posted by: SuperCommando
My dad works tech support for the school here in town and this wasn't a work order he received but he said it happened to someone he works with. Someone was having trouble getting their computer to power up so they sent someone out to look at it. They checked all the connections and everything was okay, checked the surge protector and everything that needed to be plugged in was plugged in... problem was, the surge protector was plugged into itself.

HA :laugh:

 

[300MDemon]

:thumbsup:

 

[Aharami]

Originally posted by: SuperCommando
My dad works tech support for the school here in town and this wasn't a work order he received but he said it happened to someone he works with. Someone was having trouble getting their computer to power up so they sent someone out to look at it. They checked all the connections and everything was okay, checked the surge protector and everything that needed to be plugged in was plugged in... problem was, the surge protector was plugged into itself.

hah!