You see a riced out Civic, and you have an old watermelon.

TitanDiddly

Guest
Dec 8, 2003
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You are walking down the street one day, with an old watermelon that you intend to throw away. All of sudden, this '86 Civic, speeds up behind you, parks with two wheels on the curb. It's loud as heck, and the driver just flipped off an old woman and a group of elementary school kids. The occupant switches off the purple ground effects, and hops out into a bar called 'The Laughing Pony". The car has white, peeling paint and it about 20% rust. In addition to the purple ground effects, there are in-car lights, and most everything that isn't metal lights up, wipers, trim, exhaust, etc. None of the colors match. There is a body kit on the front, which is unpainted fiberglass. Rear bumper is on vacation. There are at least seven 'Type R' stickers in various locations on the car, in addition to 'NOS' stickers and various others, some of which you suspect are actually sharpie. The most noticable feature is an exhaust which is about a foot in diameter, hung with a coat hanger. Upon closer inspection, you discover that the exhaust is actually made from a few coffee cans cut apart and riveted back together.

Now you get an evil idea. The watermelon is getting heavy. It's just a little bit larger than the exhaust- it could be shoved in, and make a nice seal all around as a ring around the outside of the watermelon is cut off by the sharp edges of the coffee can. Do you stuff the watermelon into the exhaust pipe?

Disclaimer: I do not condone the vandalism of other's property.
 

LordMorpheus

Diamond Member
Aug 14, 2002
6,871
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Anyone with a tailpipe large enough to put a watermelon into deserves to have a watermelon put in their tailpipe.
 

StageLeft

No Lifer
Sep 29, 2000
70,150
5
0
The flipping elderly woman and kids warrants some punishemt, but bad taste alone does not.
 

PingSpike

Lifer
Feb 25, 2004
21,749
584
126
Originally posted by: LordMorpheus
Anyone with a tailpipe large enough to put a watermelon into deserves to have a watermelon put in their tailpipe.

I concur. If it can be done then it MUST be done.
 

BooGiMaN

Diamond Member
Jul 5, 2001
7,955
0
0
why the hell are you carrying around an old watermelon, how do you know the grandma and the kids didnt deserve to get flipped off :p
 

BatmanNate

Lifer
Jul 12, 2000
12,444
2
81
Originally posted by: LordMorpheus
Anyone with a tailpipe large enough to put a watermelon into deserves to have a watermelon put in their tailpipe.

I think that is in the Bible somewhere.
 

MAME

Banned
Sep 19, 2003
9,281
1
0
if it's a 100% accurate description, I wouldn't put the watermelon in the tailpipe....


I'd put it up his ass
 
Aug 23, 2000
15,509
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Originally posted by: BooGiMaN
why the hell are you carrying around an old watermelon, how do you know the grandma and the kids didnt deserve to get flipped off :p


Because it cooled off after he put it in the oven and drilled a hole in it. He has to get rid of the evidence.
 

ojai00

Diamond Member
Sep 29, 2001
3,291
1
81
It's too late now isn't it? You should have done it and then posted here with pics!
 

rezinn

Platinum Member
Mar 30, 2004
2,418
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If you put it in, it will do one of two things. Best case the car won't start and he won't be able to figure out why, until he pays a mechanic to remove the watermelon from his coffee can. Worst case, since the coffee can isn't likely connected to his exhaust anyway, nothing will happen.

My most likely guess is that, since the coffee can is in his exhaust, it probably isn't sealed like a real muffler and will just cough out watermelon and fall off. Or it will fall off when you cram the watermelon in there, since it's just duct taped on.
 

jagec

Lifer
Apr 30, 2004
24,442
6
81
It's funny, because the whole tailpipe thing is evolution in action. Ricers started getting bigger and bigger tailpipes, so sane people started putting potatoes in them. The solution? Make them even bigger, big enough to render even potatoing ineffective. Sound like this guy jumped a bit ahead of the curve and is suffering the consequences.

Next year I bet they'll have 2-foot diameter exhausts to avoid being watermeloned.
 

acemcmac

Lifer
Mar 31, 2003
13,712
1
0
Originally posted by: LordMorpheus
Anyone with a tailpipe large enough to put a watermelon into deserves to have a watermelon put in their tailpipe.

rgr :beer:

Originally posted by: rezinn
If you put it in, it will do one of two things. Best case the car won't start and he won't be able to figure out why, until he pays a mechanic to remove the watermelon from his coffee can. Worst case, since the coffee can isn't likely connected to his exhaust anyway, nothing will happen.

My most likely guess is that, since the coffee can is in his exhaust, it probably isn't sealed like a real muffler and will just cough out watermelon and fall off. Or it will fall off when you cram the watermelon in there, since it's just duct taped on.

HAHAHAHA :beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer: