You move to a town where you know no one. What do you do?

[HardcoreRobot]

spent about a year of just working, doing grad school, playing WoW with friends from back home, and getting to know new people.

after that year, pretty much everything stable and back to normal.

 

[SlitheryDee]

Just do something regularly. Join a bowling league, start working out at a gym, go to church. Anything where you're certain to see the same folks over and over at a regular time. All the people I hang with now are from the gym I go to. I didn't go to the gym to meet people, but people were there, and I met them. If you're like me and you're slow to open up and talk to anyone, seeing the same folks regularly will give you the chance to get comfortable around them.

 

[nageov3t]

walk next door and say hi to your neighbors?

 

[blackdogdeek]

here's what i have done in the past to make new friends:

hang out at a pool hall
join a bud light pool league
join a crossfit gym
join a taekwondo school

 

[MotionMan]

Try a local church or temple. You do not have to be religious to socialize at houses of worship.

MotionMan

 

[Malak]

Try a local church or temple. You do not have to be religious to socialize at houses of worship.

MotionMan

I have been meaning to go church hopping for a wife...

 

[MotionMan]

I have been meaning to go church hopping for a wife...

I met mine at a fraternity party, so it all really depends on your personal situation.

Now, though we are not very religious, we are very active at our synagogue. We have made many great friends there.

MotionMan

 

[BoomerD]

Anything you want...if no one knows you...they'll have a tough time making an identification...just don't get caught.

 

[jhansman]

Find a way to get the fuck out of the house! You cannot make new friends in front of your computer or TV. Take a class, take up a new hobby and join a club, anything that gets you in touch with other souls. Good luck!

 

[sygyzy]

How about taking up cycling or running or swimming? You'd definitely run into people then.

 

[AMCRambler]

Slow pitch softball league. It's what everyone who can't play any other sport plays. It's basically an excuse to drink beer and meet sporty girls. That or kick ball.

 

[JulesMaximus]

I'll be yer Huckleberry.

 

[shortylickens]

I'll be yer Huckleberry.

 

[IronWing]

Shoot up the local convenience store. You can get to know all the families at the trial.

 

[Juked07]

How about taking up cycling or running or swimming? You'd definitely run into people then.

As someone who has done two of those things extensively, I've never met anyone new that way. Definitely got closer to existing friends by going running or biking together though.

 

[OlafSicky]

I joined AA and they gave me a friend Then there was a Baptist church around the corner from my place and went in joined the Choir instant friends and some nice and fairly desperate women . Things went smoothly from there, they did kick me out of the choir eventually, but it took them a long while. The AA guy still calls me up on regular basis and we meet for coffee.

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

You have to break out of the rut. Do something out of character. Take a risk. Do something you'd never imagine yourself doing.

 

[Fayd]

I've been living in this place for 5 years but I was absolutely not expecting to live here this long. I moved here for work and they kept telling me oh we're going to move you by then, or then, or then... but it's never happened. I never bothered to make friends as it seemed pointless... but now I'm regretting that.

So I've finally realized maybe I should try to meet some people around here. I've tried to play some drop in hockey but it appears nobody plays. Hockey is really the only sport I'm good at so other sports aren't an option.

I already have a fiance (living back home till she's done school) so it's not like I can use a dating site to meet women.

My coworkers aren't a great option as they mostly live far away and commute into town.

It doesn't help I have huge social anxiety when I'm meeting new people.

how is it that just because you're "good at hockey" that other sports are not possible? noone is great at everything, there's leagues of all sports for beginners. just go try out and have fun.

 

[Bateluer]

Meetup.com

 

[SlitheryDee]

how is it that just because you're "good at hockey" that other sports are not possible? noone is great at everything, there's leagues of all sports for beginners. just go try out and have fun.

Bowling is especially easy to get into because you can really help your team by sucking at first and improving steadily over the course of the season. That would be in a handicap league of course. Bowling also happens to be fun as hell whatever your skill level. I'm sure that's true for lots of other casual sports as well. Bowling is all I have experience with though.

 

[lxskllr]

Sounds like you're doing alright to me. 20 days of the month are shot cause of work, and you spend the other 10 with your fiancé, and friends. That's a full month :^)

 

[angminas]

OP, I'm going to tell you one of the most important things I've ever learned, as it sounds like it may be something you need to hear...the great majority of people have no clue about life, so you shouldn't be very worried about what the average person thinks about you. Especially if you don't know them...they don't know you either, so nearly any judgment they make about you is premature. Remembering this can help you tremendously with your social anxiety.

Of course, it doesn't let you off the hook completely, in that you need to choose friends wisely, listen to good advice, consider who you are and whether that's who you should be, etc. But don't let the fear of strangers thinking you're stranger hold you back from meeting the people who are worth being around, or from being one of those people yourself.

Let go of the it's not an option, it's not a good option, I can't, I won't. Your goal is to be nice, meet some people who also want to be nice, and have some fun and enriching experiences, right? And you are used to your current situation, so trying something new will be challenging, uncomfortable, and maybe even embarrassing, right? But you're not happy in your current situation, so you're willing to deal with that and make some changes, right?

So slip your chain, pop a breath mint, and go for it. Nothing can stop you now.