You Know You're From Portland

Bryophyte

Lifer
Apr 25, 2001
13,430
13
81
You throw an aluminum can in the trash and feel guilty.
You never go camping without water-proof matches and ponchos.
You stand on a deserted street corner in the rain waiting for the light to change.
You've ever ordered a half caff/decaf, nonfat mocha grande with sugar-free cranberry whip.
The bride and groom registered at REI.
Know at least eight people who work for Intel or used to work for Tektronix.
You make $30,000 a year, yet still can't find a place to live.
Know the vast differences between Coffee People, Torrefazione, and Starbuck's.
You can list more than five reasons why Starbuck's is evil.
Every July 1st, it takes half a day to find your sunglasses and sunscreen.
You blame anything that is not right on ex-Californians.
You remember the date, severity, time of day, where you were, and how long you were out of power for every winter weather event for the last five years.
You know what and when the Columbus Day storm was. Bonus for having been there.
You go to a coffee bar and see two guys get into a fight over who makes the best IPA.
Own more than 10 articles of clothing that have microbreweries/brewpubs printed on them. Bonus for embroidered stuff.
You know that Boring is a place, not an adjective to describe your job.
You can point in the direction of two or more volcanoes even though you can't see them due to clouds.
You have a bookstore, coffee bar, and brewpub within walking distance of your house.
You can give a 30-minute monologue on infill and the Urban Growth Boundry.
You think downtown is 'scary' because you were panhandled there once.
When you drive out of town, every other guy in a pickup truck looks like the governor.
When you drive out of town, even the Hondas have gun racks.
You can name more than 10 kinds of berries and where to get them.
You can name more than 10 beer styles and their hop profiles.
When the weather gets above 50 degrees, you put on your shorts, but you still wear your hiking boots and parka.
When the weather gets above 60 degrees, you replace your hiking boots with sandals.
You think people who use umbrellas are wimps.
You can recount more than five anecdotes why the east side is a crime-infested jungle,
*OR*
You can list more than five reasons why the west side is a boring, snobby, white-bread suburb.
You know what is between the east side and the west side, and how to pronounce it.
You know that Couch the street is not pronounced like the couch that you sit on.
You are sitting at a red light surrounded by Subaru Legacy Outbacks.
"Today's forecast, showers, followed by rain. Tomorrow: rain, followed by showers" doesn't faze you.
You can't wait for a day with "showers and sunbreaks".
You can go skiing after work.
A tree or mudslide has ever damaged your house or car.
You live equidistant to a symphony hall, a winery, and a volcano.

 

SP33Demon

Lifer
Jun 22, 2001
27,928
142
106
I'm going to go out on a limb and assume you're talking about Oregon, not Maine? :)
 

waggy

No Lifer
Dec 14, 2000
68,143
10
81
I was born IN salem. but lived in Portland for a few years. hmm 182 and burnside i beleive (been 15 years heh)
 

RossMAN

Grand Nagus
Feb 24, 2000
78,840
344
136
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
Oregon.

:thumbsup:

:thumbsup:

waggy - I know where 182nd & Burnside is! It's a shame you don't still live out here.
 

Rumpltzer

Diamond Member
Jun 7, 2003
4,815
33
91
I spent a summer in Portland, so I get most of what's on the list.

You might consider adding to your list: You don't snicker every time you hear the word "Beaverton".
 

waggy

No Lifer
Dec 14, 2000
68,143
10
81
Originally posted by: RossMAN
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
Oregon.

:thumbsup:

:thumbsup:

waggy - I know where 182nd & Burnside is! It's a shame you don't still live out here.

I have tried to talk my wife into moveing back out west. But she does not want to leave her family. I think she would really love that area.

I miss going to the Rose festival (would go every year) and the State fair in Salem.
 

Maetryx

Diamond Member
Jan 18, 2001
4,849
1
81
I'm a former Eugenius myself. Most of that list makes me smile. Umbrellas... *pfft*.
 

JulesMaximus

No Lifer
Jul 3, 2003
74,541
920
126
Originally posted by: Bryophyte
You throw an aluminum can in the trash and feel guilty.
You never go camping without water-proof matches and ponchos.
You stand on a deserted street corner in the rain waiting for the light to change.
You've ever ordered a half caff/decaf, nonfat mocha grande with sugar-free cranberry whip.
The bride and groom registered at REI.
Know at least eight people who work for Intel or used to work for Tektronix.
You make $30,000 a year, yet still can't find a place to live.
Know the vast differences between Coffee People, Torrefazione, and Starbuck's.
You can list more than five reasons why Starbuck's is evil.
Every July 1st, it takes half a day to find your sunglasses and sunscreen.
You blame anything that is not right on ex-Californians.
You remember the date, severity, time of day, where you were, and how long you were out of power for every winter weather event for the last five years.
You know what and when the Columbus Day storm was. Bonus for having been there.
You go to a coffee bar and see two guys get into a fight over who makes the best IPA.
Own more than 10 articles of clothing that have microbreweries/brewpubs printed on them. Bonus for embroidered stuff.
You know that Boring is a place, not an adjective to describe your job.
You can point in the direction of two or more volcanoes even though you can't see them due to clouds.
You have a bookstore, coffee bar, and brewpub within walking distance of your house.
You can give a 30-minute monologue on infill and the Urban Growth Boundry.
You think downtown is 'scary' because you were panhandled there once.
When you drive out of town, every other guy in a pickup truck looks like the governor.
When you drive out of town, even the Hondas have gun racks.
You can name more than 10 kinds of berries and where to get them.
You can name more than 10 beer styles and their hop profiles.
When the weather gets above 50 degrees, you put on your shorts, but you still wear your hiking boots and parka.
When the weather gets above 60 degrees, you replace your hiking boots with sandals.
You think people who use umbrellas are wimps.
You can recount more than five anecdotes why the east side is a crime-infested jungle,
*OR*
You can list more than five reasons why the west side is a boring, snobby, white-bread suburb.
You know what is between the east side and the west side, and how to pronounce it.
You know that Couch the street is not pronounced like the couch that you sit on.
You are sitting at a red light surrounded by Subaru Legacy Outbacks.
"Today's forecast, showers, followed by rain. Tomorrow: rain, followed by showers" doesn't faze you.
You can't wait for a day with "showers and sunbreaks".
You can go skiing after work.
A tree or mudslide has ever damaged your house or car.
You live equidistant to a symphony hall, a winery, and a volcano.

Classic. I like this one the best. :laugh:
 

RossMAN

Grand Nagus
Feb 24, 2000
78,840
344
136
Originally posted by: waggy
Originally posted by: RossMAN
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
Oregon.

:thumbsup:

:thumbsup:

waggy - I know where 182nd & Burnside is! It's a shame you don't still live out here.

I have tried to talk my wife into moveing back out west. But she does not want to leave her family. I think she would really love that area.

I miss going to the Rose festival (would go every year) and the State fair in Salem.

How is housing in your area and the job market?

Portland is a beautiful city with great transit system, biker friendly, etc. but the WEATHER SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS.
 

nageov3t

Lifer
Feb 18, 2004
42,808
83
91
haha. I grew up in Portland. didn't move to the east coast until I was 12.

I had actually thought about moving back... too bad the state doesn't want me, though.
 

azazyel

Diamond Member
Oct 6, 2000
5,872
1
81
Know the state flower (Mildew)
Use the statement "sun break" and know what it means.
Know more than 10 ways to order coffee.
Know more people who own boats than air conditioners.
Feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.
Consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is NOT a
real mountain.
Can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best, and Veneto's.
Know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye salmon.
Know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, and
Willamette.
Consider swimming an indoor sport.
Can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food.
In winter, go to work in the dark and come home in the dark-while only
working eight-hour days.
Never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.
Have no concept of humidity without precipitation.
You notice "the mountain is out" when it is a pretty day and you can
actually see it.
Have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.
Think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists.
Knew immediately that the view out of Frasier's window was FAKE.
Buy new sunglasses every year, because you can't find the old ones after
such a long time.
You measure distance in hours.
You often switch from "heat" to "a/c" in the same day.
You use a down comforter in the summer.
You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.
You know all the important seasons: Almost Winter, (Winter),
StillRaining (Spring), Road Construction (Summer) and Deer &Elk season
(Fall).
 

dderidex

Platinum Member
Mar 13, 2001
2,732
0
0
Okay, two lists that both PERFECTLY describe Portland residents. Combined!

You throw an aluminum can in the trash and feel guilty. - LOL :D
You never go camping without water-proof matches and ponchos.
You stand on a deserted street corner in the rain waiting for the light to change.
You've ever ordered a half caff/decaf, nonfat mocha grande with sugar-free cranberry whip.
The bride and groom registered at REI.
Know at least eight people who work for Intel or used to work for Tektronix.
You make $30,000 a year, yet still can't find a place to live.
Know the vast differences between Coffee People, Torrefazione, and Starbuck's.
You can list more than five reasons why Starbuck's is evil.
Every July 1st, it takes half a day to find your sunglasses and sunscreen.
You blame anything that is not right on ex-Californians.
You remember the date, severity, time of day, where you were, and how long you were out of power for every winter weather event for the last five years.
You know what and when the Columbus Day storm was. Bonus for having been there.
You go to a coffee bar and see two guys get into a fight over who makes the best IPA.
Own more than 10 articles of clothing that have microbreweries/brewpubs printed on them. Bonus for embroidered stuff.
You know that Boring is a place, not an adjective to describe your job.
You can point in the direction of two or more volcanoes even though you can't see them due to clouds.
You have a bookstore, coffee bar, and brewpub within walking distance of your house.
You can give a 30-minute monologue on infill and the Urban Growth Boundry.
You think downtown is 'scary' because you were panhandled there once.
When you drive out of town, every other guy in a pickup truck looks like the governor.
When you drive out of town, even the Hondas have gun racks.
You can name more than 10 kinds of berries and where to get them.
You can name more than 10 beer styles and their hop profiles.
When the weather gets above 50 degrees, you put on your shorts, but you still wear your hiking boots and parka.
When the weather gets above 60 degrees, you replace your hiking boots with sandals.
You can recount more than five anecdotes why the east side is a crime-infested jungle,
*OR*
You can list more than five reasons why the west side is a boring, snobby, white-bread suburb.
You know what is between the east side and the west side, and how to pronounce it.
You know that Couch the street is not pronounced like the couch that you sit on.
You are sitting at a red light surrounded by Subaru Legacy Outbacks.
"Today's forecast, showers, followed by rain. Tomorrow: rain, followed by showers" doesn't faze you.
You can't wait for a day with "showers and sunbreaks".
You can go skiing after work.
A tree or mudslide has ever damaged your house or car.
You live equidistant to a symphony hall, a winery, and a volcano.
Know the state flower (Mildew)
Use the statement "sun break" and know what it means.
Know more than 10 ways to order coffee.
Know more people who own boats than air conditioners.
Feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.
Consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is NOT a real mountain.
Know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye salmon.
Know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, and Willamette.
Consider swimming an indoor sport.
Can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food.
In winter, go to work in the dark and come home in the dark-while only working eight-hour days.
Have no concept of humidity without precipitation.
You notice "the mountain is out" when it is a pretty day and you can actually see it.
Have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.
Think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists.
Knew immediately that the view out of Frasier's window was FAKE.
Buy new sunglasses every year, because you can't find the old ones after such a long time.
You measure distance in hours.
You often switch from "heat" to "a/c" in the same day.
You use a down comforter in the summer.
You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.
You know all the important seasons: Almost Winter, (Winter),
StillRaining (Spring), Road Construction (Summer) and Deer &Elk season (Fall).

(FWIW, that describes most Oregonians. Gods, I love this state!)

However, being an Oregon n00b, there ARE a couple I'm missing:

You know what is between the east side and the west side, and how to pronounce it.
You know that Couch the street is not pronounced like the couch that you sit on.

Nope on those.

Know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, and Willamette.
Last two, definately yes. First three....errr...think so, but wouldn't put money on it.

Also - interestingly given how far I live from Portland - BOTH THESE ARE TRUE!!

Know more people who own boats than air conditioners.
Feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.

For starters, I live in the freaking *desert*, and yet know more people with boats than air conditioners! (To be fair, even in the middle of summer, there is a solid 30 degree difference between night and day temps - who needs air? Just open the windows!)

And let's not even talk about how Bend residents dress for dinner....
 

Bryophyte

Lifer
Apr 25, 2001
13,430
13
81
Originally posted by: dderidex
However, being an Oregon n00b, there ARE a couple I'm missing:

You know what is between the east side and the west side, and how to pronounce it.
You know that Couch the street is not pronounced like the couch that you sit on.

Nope on those.

Know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, and Willamette.
Last two, definately yes. First three....errr...think so, but wouldn't put money on it.

What's between east side and west side? The Willamette River!
Couch St is pronounced "cooch"
Sequim = "sskwim"
Puyallup = "pew-AL-up" (I know this one because I lived there for 4 years)
Issaquah = issa-kwah (ending in ah that sounds like law)

 

dderidex

Platinum Member
Mar 13, 2001
2,732
0
0
What's between east side and west side? The Willamette River!
Ah, of course. Was reading too much into that one, hence the confusion.
Couch St is pronounced "cooch"
Alright, had to check on that one although the 'not pronounced like the type you sit on' kinda limited the options - just wanted to make sure it wasn't something bizarre
Sequim = "sskwim"
Wow. Okay, would never have got that one. Silent 'e'!?
Puyallup = "pew-AL-up" (I know this one because I lived there for 4 years)
Hmm...another miss.
Issaquah = issa-kwah (ending in ah that sounds like law)
Got that one, though!
 

BatmanNate

Lifer
Jul 12, 2000
12,444
2
81
Originally posted by: Bryophyte
Originally posted by: dderidex
However, being an Oregon n00b, there ARE a couple I'm missing:

You know what is between the east side and the west side, and how to pronounce it.
You know that Couch the street is not pronounced like the couch that you sit on.

Nope on those.

Know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, and Willamette.
Last two, definately yes. First three....errr...think so, but wouldn't put money on it.

Puyallup = "pew-AL-up" (I know this one because I lived there for 4 years)


I live there. :eek: (have for about 10 years)