You ever just want to slap some one?

[Yeeny]

My mother in law called me, to tell me that my husbands cousin is in the hospital with kidney failure. She is eighteen, and has bulimia/anorexia nervosa. They don't know if they can do anything to save her, because she has been bulimic for so long, they fear her esophaugus (sp?) and stomach may be damaged beyond repair.

She is a beautiful intelligent girl, who has so much to offer the world. And now she is an 83 pound skeleton laying in a hospital bed, fighting for her life. I used to babysit her and her sister, we were very close. Her sister was killed in a car accident at seventeen, and they were very close. Everyone who was around her saw she was getting too thin, and what she was doing. But typical of my husbands family, let's deny the problem and maybe it will go away. They are classics for that, they let a child molestor back into the family because "Hey, he only molested a girl, boys will be safe around him." Then proceeded not to tell any of us he had served three years for molestation until he was arrested AGAIN for molesting more kids in the family. My kids were the only ones untouched, because I am very protective, and don't like them around his family.

So now because nobody wanted to step in and make waves, she is possibly dying. It just makes me so mad, the depth of some peoples stupidity, and how it can affect others. :disgust:

 

[GreenBeret]

Wow. That sucks. And I thought Evan was stupid :|

People should have to pass some sort of caring test before being allowed to have a child. :| :|

 

[yakko]

Slap is an understatement.

 

[MajesticMoose]

I do believe a slap is inorder. At least you have the sense to keep your kids away from them. Good luck quitting smoking, i really hope you make it.

Moose

 

[Isla]

Oh GF, I am so sorry to hear that!

There is a lot of that kind of crap in Mr Isla's family, too... I am not very popular with them because I had the nerve to say something about it.

That kind of thing is also why I am staying home raising my kids. I did not exactly aspire to be a domestic engineer.... I dreamed of a much more exciting life, photographing wild life for National Geographic.... but here I am... I figure, I had 'em, so I better take care of 'em right! I watch over them like the Alpha She-Wolf I am.

Let me know how the girl is.... I'll keep her in my prayers, and when she gets better I would be more than happy to e-mail her everyday with my support! Just let me know what I can do and I will get to it.

 

[Yeeny]

Isla: Unfortunately they will not allow her to have a computer, so that idea will not work. But thank you for the offer, that is very sweet. It just breaks my heart, because she is one of the few out of those people that really could be something one day. And I am afraid she is going to throw it all away, trying to fit some ideal she has in her head.

 

[Mday]

=(

colleen just ruined my day... again.

colleen, you are a good mommy =)

--

sorry to hear that colleen.

the esophagus may be in trouble because of the stomach acid. it's such a shame.

EATING DISORDERS are not a thing of the past folks. watch out, this can and will happen to someone you know. watch your close ones closely...

--

can i punch your husband's family?

 

[Elita1]

Good for you Girlfriday, stickin' up for your children's safety.

My heart goes out to that poor girl and she will be in my prayers also. I had an anorexic/bulemic roommate and after nearly going insane from her neurotic ways I mustered up the courage to tell someone in charge (at our U) so they could help her because she refused to seek help. She never forgave me for it because she believed I betrayed her trust. But hey, she's still alive and kicking and seems to be slowly working at her problems. God knows what would've happened if I hadn't done anything. I remember waking up in the middle of the night every night to check on her to see if she was still breathing. She had heart complications so I was always terrified that she'd drop dead on me while I slept.

It is awful when people won't step in and try and help when help is truly needed. And then there are some who make it their business to try and "help" everybody by interfering and telling them what they should do.
The line between interference and stepping in to help someone that really needs help is always difficult for me to distinguish but I try with all my might every day to discern that line and make the right decision.
My prayers and thoughts to your husband's cousin that she may recover.

 

[ArkAoss]

i have an 18 yr old cousin, she wieghs like 85-90, but she isnt bulimic, she's twice had grapfruit sized cancerous tumors ,and has beaten them without chemo therepy both times. she is on a strict homepathic diet, doesnt eat meat, and certain grains i think. but she isn't bulemic, she's getting married this may actually.
if there is some one cheery with your cousin in law, or if she had a close friend who was able to encourage her, she might be able to pull through. In school once we watched a 48hrs video about a canadian woman who had nearly lost 2 daughters to that, but now she runs a special clinic, where thru emotional support and care, they recoup girls, and i dunno if its free, but alot of the workers where girls she'd helped that came back to help others, and i guess on alot it worked.. i know no more about it. but they seemed to have helped alot of girls who'd had gotten to such a stage.
my cousin mightnot have pulled thru without the support of her present fiance. . hes a great guy, and they are a strong couple. hopefully your husbands family smartens up.

 

[eyor]

Hope she gets better, GF!

 

[kranky]

I sure hope she makes it, GF, and ends up getting her problems solved. That would at least take the pressure off those who might look back later and regret not taking action. That would be a terrible thing to have to live with.

I find bulimia/anorexia very mystifying and I can see how hard it would be to help someone who doesn't admit they have a problem, especially when the rest of the family is only too eager to deny, deny, deny.

 

[Imaginer]

GirlFriday.

I hope that your husband's family gains some heart and my wishes of recovery to your husband's cousin.

 

[Yeeny]

That's the problem, they deny so much, it just infuriates me. I really try not to judge people, because I know his whole family is messed up, they always have been. And they will be for a long time. I know bulimia is one of those diseases that are well hidden, but they had to see something before she got down to 83 pounds. Hopefully they will learn something, but I just don't see it happening.

I am trying so hard to be understanding, but with them, I just cannot be. I am too biased from their past actions. Well, I can always hope they prove me wrong this time.

 

[ArkAoss]

i hope they learn, and slap them good

 

[Zoson]

Hey, you could always peition to the court that they're unfit parents... If you care that much. Wish her well, be sure to tell her that computer nerds around the world are uniting to wish her well.
-Zoson

 

[Imaginer]

Oh then I wish that those clouds of denial will soon clear away to show the truth that it has been conceiling.

 

[Azraele]

I hope she pulls through, it's a shame that it had to go this far without anyone doing anything about it

 

[Yeeny]

Zoson, I do care, I care so much. But she is eighteen, and legally an adult. Unless her parents had her declared incompetent, there is really not anything I can do for her, at least as far as I know.

 

[ArkAoss]

girl friday there really is a place in canada that can help girls like that, i wish i knew the name, do a search for bulimic support, they probly have a website. all i remember was a vid from health class, but not enough details. .

 

[matmax]

yeah, go ahead an slap em upside of da head and do one fer me. its amazing what harm denial does to a family. i know its tough but be strong for your kids' sake.

 

[Yeeny]

Ok, well I just got a call, and it turns out they were able to get her kidneys functioning, and of right now has the chance to be perfectly fine. But the doctor told her parents that she needs to be put into a home for girls with eating disorders, and they said no. They don't want to let her go, so they are just going to take her home. They think they can watch her good enough, and can talk her out of her behavior. I guess they cannot comprehend a mental disorder when they see one.

 

[BDawg]

What loser parents...can't they see she's gonna die without professional help?

Eating disorders aren't just a cold turkey thing they can enforce...

 

[ArkAoss]

im tellin ya, there was this place run by a woman who's daugters had such disoreders, they had helped alot of people, maybe there's a support group that knows of them. ..

 

[Yeeny]

ArkAoss: A support group will not help, if the parents are not making her get any. They are all in denial, and don't think they need outside help. That is what my whole problem is with these people.

 

[bigbootydaddy]

one of my friends (ok you twisted my arm, its my ex...again) dad is real quiet and has that "if you leave it alone itll go away" attitude...so i hate to see more and more of this. good luck.

why do people ignore problems? is it fear?