The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
* Women's rest room, Murphy's, Champaign, Ill.
If you voted for Clinton in the last election, you can't take a dump here. Your asshole is in Washington.
* Men's rest room, Outback Steakhouse, Tacoma, Wash.
Beauty is only a light switch away.
* Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, N.C.
If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted and have the time of our lives.
* Armand's Pizza, Washington, D.C.
Remember, it's not "How high are you?", it's "Hi, how are you?"
* Rest stop off Route 81, W. VA.
God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?
* The Irish Times, Washington, D.C.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
* The Bayou, Baton Rouge, La.
No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.
* Men's rest room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, N.C.
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
* Written in the dust on the back of a bus,
Wickenburg, Ariz.
A woman's rule of thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
* Women's rest room, Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, Tex.
Watch out for gay limbo dancers.
* Inside toilet stall door, men's rest room?
Express Lane: Five beers or less.
* Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's,
Phoenix, Ariz.
You're too good for him.
* Sign over mirror in women's rest room, Ed
Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA
No wonder you always go home alone.
* Sign over mirror in men's rest room, Ed Debevic's,
Beverly Hills, CA
What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands.
* Men's rest room, Lynagh's, Lexington, KY
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