Yikes... big decision coming up... Girlfriend/College/Parents/Life, etc.

[LivinLaVivaPollo]

Well, I'm currently a 1st year student here at UC Santa Cruz. It's great here and all, but I'm beginning to hear the call of parental bribery. My dad works for Agilent Technologies, Palo Alto, and unless there is some kinda divine intervention, the Palo Alto division of Agilent is heading on over to Roseville, which is pretty close to Davis and Sacramento. My dad can either go with Agilent and keep his job of twenty years OR take a severance package of 50g's or so which will be taxed but also be out of a job. He is pretty much set on going to Roseville, because he is going to be eligible for retirement pretty soon and Agilent takes care of their employees because they are a bellweather company like HP. I was going to go up to Sacramento/Roseville to look at some houses with them this weekend, but they threw quite a screwball at me. IF I live with them, I will get my car back, in house fiber (WHOA), satellite TV (YAHOO), my own room with a bathroom, and probably some kind of monetary stipend; as you can see they've been trying to get me to live back with them for a while now. All I have to do is transfer to Davis, and commute there everyday (20 to 30 minutes). BUT WAIT.. there's more!

My girlfriend of 1 year, 7 months, and 17 days is ALSO willing to go with me. But here lies the problem... I'm not sure if I can transfer... I just looked the Davis transfer website and they aren't taking anymore people in the College of Engineering (CE Major)... do I have to wait another quarter? Would this be a special case circumstance? My girlfriend is going to need housing there though, unlike me.. she's EOP too, practically the model student, would a transfer be possible for her too under a Mathematics Major? I heard mixed messages about intercampus transfers, a friend of my girlfriend's transferred to UCSC from UCSB and said it was a matter of paperwork and that it was easy. But I'm sure lots of red tape is gonna arise, deadlines, application fees, transcripts.

I'm getting kinda antsy. I want to go, but at the same time I don't want to be setup for dissapointment and jepoardize my girlfriend's education too. If all else goes through, would it be possible for me to transfer to UC Davis, in Fall 2002 with my girlfriend? Should I go for it?

 

[udonoogen]

i'd suggest waiting a couple quarters until next to either transfer or apply (in november). just so u dont do anything irrational and so you know that you really want to transfer out of santa cruz (you've only been there a quarter i assume). probably less paperwork if you apply for transfer in november too. i'd really suggest that you use this time now to make some more friends, check out what you dont know about santa cruz, and enjoy the rest of your freshmen year. its a fun year.

 

[UofI]

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[rgwalt]

OK, if you can tolerate living at home with your folks and would be happy at Davis, I would say that you should go ahead and transfer. You are getting hooked up with the perks of living at home and an allowence (monetary stipend from parents = allowence, sorry). However, remember the disadvantages... No matter how cool your parents are, rolling in really drunk at 3 AM won't make them happy. There is also the matter of privacy and living your life the way that you want to without interference. These things are VERY valuable. Speaking from personal experience, even if my parents were to buy me a new car, build me an addition to the house, and give me $50K a year, I wouldn't move in with them unless they needed me to take care of them. I value my space and the ability to set my own schedual too much to give it up. Also, you have to consider why your folks want you to move home so much. Is it a money thing, or is it that they want to hold on to their son for a few more years? I know what it would be with my folks (the latter), and I also know that in the long run it will be better for them if they became less attached.

However, this is your life and only you know what your relationship with your parents is like.

Now, as far as your GF goes, why is she interested in transferring? Is it to be with you or a different reason (or a combination of reasons)? If she is moving out there soley for you, you HAVE to make sure everything (and I mean everything) is cool with your relationship before the move. If she transfers, she will probably leave at least some close friends behind. It is great that she wants to be with you, but if things go sour, she could end up resenting you for it. By sour I mean, what if she doesn't like it out there? What if you guys break up? (How old are you both?) What if she isn't happy with the program? This are things you have to consider. You don't want to get in a situation like this. Ask yourself if you could (not will) spend the rest of your life with her. If the answer isn't yes or that you are almost certain, it is a bad idea for her to follow you. This might mean that you need to make the sacrifice of staying put while figuring out the future of your relationship.

Just food for thought.

Ryan