Year in Sex & Sports Espn recap of 2002

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Funny read...
Year in Sex & Sports

 

[Storm]

Headlines I found funny from the article...

Olympics

United nations
Reports from deep inside the Olympic Village indicate that officials have removed Jacuzzis and hot tubs. It's another blow for the Olympic spirit. An unnamed athlete, quoted by the New York Daily News, says, "Let's just say they let us know they didn't want any more intermingling of nations."

More trouble in figure skating
Pairs skating and Ice Dancing saw some different moves performed, considering the new rules enacted in May 2001 prohibiting "undignified poses and positions" such as, according to the International Skating Union's communication No. 1115, "sustained upside down splits, and spread eagles while leaning backwards low to the ice." An American judge, Nancy Meiss, explains: "If I want a young man waving his partner's assets in my face, I can rent a porn video. The males are acting like pimps."


May

World Cup sex, part I
Polish national soccer team coach Jerzy Engel says that he'll allow his players to bring along wives and girlfriends during the World Cup. Some players accept the offer, but others don't. "I want to concentrate on football during the World Cup," says midfielder Cezary Kucharski. "I would worry too much about my wife. That would be bad for my concentration." Kucharski doesn't explain what about his wife, exactly, he'd be worried about.

In any case, the strategy doesn't work. Poland exits early, ousted after finishing last in Group D competition.

World Cup sex, part II
Italy's coach, Giovanni Trapattoni, bans his players from having sex during the first round of the World Cup, and adds that after that, "moderation is needed."

The strategy doesn't work. Italy loses to Korea in the round of 16.

World Cup sex, part III
An Umbro.com poll reveals that on nights before World Cup matches, one of three British fans plans to abstain from sex.

The strategy doesn't work. England loses to Brazil in the quarterfinals.