YAWT: (YAWifeT) Birthday Party invitation. w/ poll.

[Yax]

So a friend is having her birthday party next month. Her bf approved of her doing what ever she wants. She decided it'll be an all girls party with a male stripper. She invites my wife along with her other friends. Some single and some married too. She's a pretty wild girl herself.

From what I know, what goes on at the party stays at the party and they planned on doing some very naughty things, with lots of alcohol.

Now, for my wife, when she starts drinking, she transforms into a crazy lady. They insist on her being there because they're pretty sure she'd be the craziest one. She knows herself and she said "NO" to the invitation, but her friend asked her to think about it since the party's not going to be for another month.

She wondered about what I thought of it all and I said, there's NO way in hell she's going, unless she wants a divorce. But am I out of line? If she should change her mind next time her friend asks her (and I know that will happen), should I be agreeable to it?

 

[Azraele]

I agree that it sounds like trouble, but telling her no without giving her a choice in the matter is bound to upset her and infinges on her personal right to choose. There must be some degree of trust. If she decides to go and does nothing untoward, then she has upheld the trust in the relationship.

Rather than giving an ultimatum, why not try discussing your concerns with her?

 

[canadianpsycho]

If she wants to screw around on you, she already has. If you have gone to see strippers you're a hypocrite to say no.

People are way too uptight about strippers. My wife and I had a wicked time Sat. night at the peelers - women.

 

[Viper GTS]

Considering her first reaction was no, her intentions are probably good.

I wouldn't give an ultimatum (bad idea), but let her know you agreed with her original decision.

Hopefully her friends will know when to stop asking.

IMHO they shouldn't have asked again after the first time.

Viper GTS

 

[ggavinmoss]

So after she replied "No" to the invitation, you said "there's NO way in hell she's going, unless she wants a divorce" -- is that correct? It seems like a bit of a dramatic reaction to something that you and she seem to agree on.

-geoff

 

[Yax]

Originally posted by: Viper GTS
Considering her first reaction was no, her intentions are probably good.

I wouldn't give an ultimatum (bad idea), but let her know you agreed with her original decision.

Hopefully her friends will know when to stop asking.

IMHO they shouldn't have asked again after the first time.

Viper GTS

That's a good point. It seems like they're not taking No for an answer even after she's said it. I think the more they ask, the more she's tempted to say yes too. Wonder what I should do about that.

 

[Excelsior]

Originally posted by: ggavinmoss
So after she replied "No" to the invitation, you said "there's NO way in hell she's going, unless she wants a divorce" -- is that correct? It seems like a bit of a dramatic reaction to something that you and she seem to agree on.

-geoff

Yeah..she did say no the first time. She obviously understands that it wouldnt be fair for her to go to this, then not let you go to a party with female strippers.

 

[Yax]

Originally posted by: ggavinmoss
So after she replied "No" to the invitation, you said "there's NO way in hell she's going, unless she wants a divorce" -- is that correct? It seems like a bit of a dramatic reaction to something that you and she seem to agree on.

-geoff

She informed me because they've asked her more than once. I thought I'd let her know how I felt since I expect them to ask her again.

 

[LordMorpheus]

Where is the "She can go, but only if she brings a camera and takes pictures for you to post on ATOT" option?

I would ask her not to go, but the real decision is hers. If she said no already, well, that counts for something. Ultimatum=bad.

 

[Kadarin]

If you wanted to go to a friend's b-day party where they had female strippers, would she be ok with it?

 

[Yax]

Originally posted by: Astaroth33
If you wanted to go to a friend's b-day party where they had female strippers, would she be ok with it?

Women are wierd. She'd probably say it was okay, but then get mad if I went so I wouldn't know for sure unless it happened.

 

[Yax]

Originally posted by: LordMorpheus
Where is the "She can go, but only if she brings a camera and takes pictures for you to post on ATOT" option?

I would ask her not to go, but the real decision is hers. If she said no already, well, that counts for something. Ultimatum=bad.

I don't think I'd want to see pictures that she'd be taking there.

 

[fyleow]

I don't think you are out of line, but on the bright side she agrees with you that it's a bad idea to go. I can see it being a bigger problem if she was adamant about going. After all, you trust your wife, it's the alcohol that's the problem. If she doesn't go (and she'd be doing it for you) then you might consider doing something nice to show you appreciate her respecting your decision and allaying your fears.

 

[Tinkerhell]

I don't think your out of line, especially if she gets crazy when she drinks. I wouldn't go to a party with a male stripper out of respect to my boyfriend. You two should have your own party

 

[T2T III]

Very early on in my marriage, I was very insecure about things of this nature. When my wife would be with her girlfriends, they would talk about going to see the Chippendales. This talk would drive me nuts - the fear for me was worse than the actual event of her going. As it turns out, she never went to one of their performances. And, imagine how bad I made myself feel?

I've now been married for nearly 18 years. We have a pretty good marriage. When I'm not behaving so well, my wife isn't afraid to let me know. However, I'm now a much more secure person. If she were to come to me at this point in time and let me know she was going to see the Chippendales, I wouldn't have a problem with it - and I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.

Granted, these are two different types of events (Chippendales vs. private male stripper.) However, I guess I just wanted to point out that for me, time and maturity has made me a more secure person with myself and the relationship with my wife.

Best of luck to you.

 

[knivox]

I wouldn't care, it's just a stripper. It's not like she's going to a gangbang or anything

 

[dman]

I guess I'd just say if the situation was reversed would you be going/allowed to go (without a hassle)? If so, then let her go. If not, then she shouldn't go.