YART: Love vs. Religion vs. Morals/Values

[Rogue]

I need some solid advice on this situation from a broad audience. Here's the deal.

My brother in law and his girlfriend just had a baby, in effect, my niece. My wife has always wanted to be a God Parent as she was born and raised Catholic. She has been given the opportunity, however, my Atheist belief system will prevent us from being God Parents, according to her and the church. The only solution seems to be for me to get Baptised and become a Catholic. I love my wife very much and do not want her to give up this opportunity because of my beliefs. We already did not get married Catholic because of my beliefs, something she was willing to do. We got married by a Baptist chaplain from my Army Reserve unit.

Knowing all that, what should I do? I DO NOT believe in God, nor do I think I ever will (no flamefest here either, I believe what I believe). Should I get Baptised, if only to give her this opportunity that she's waited all her life for? Should I set aside my beliefs and values in the name of the love I have for my wife? Would I be a hypocrite, like I feel I would, for entering Catholocism if only for one day? I take it as a minor insult that the church would assume that because I don't believe in God, I would not be a fit parent, but I'm told that's part of the system and tradition, so I can't possibly change that.

PS-no Cliff Notes version provided, read or perish...

 

[Broohaha]

just take the shower they give you then dont give a fsck about it. problem solved.

 

[dpm]

Well, this is totally down to you. If you are an atheist, then presumably the happiness of those you care about is more important to you than the judgement of a church, or the bother of "entering Catholocism if only for one day". If its something that'll make your wife very happy, then get baptised so she can do it.

However, I'm not at all sure that getting baptised is a simple as you make it sound. You might be expected to take instruction for a period of weeks first.

Could you not just go the sin of ommission route and not tell anyone that you are *not* catholic?

 

[Analog]

They are not going to just baptize you. You will have to take instruction and confess your beliefs in front of the church or priest etc. Consider that. Why not approach it with an open mind - you may be surprised in the long run.

 

[samgau]

DO it for your wife... put up with the hassle, lie if needs be.... She will be able to be god mother ie happier ie you will be happier.... simple... the bottom line is what will you do for love... good luck man

 

[conjur]

Can't they pick someone else to be the God father while your wife is the God mother? Happens all the time.

 

[apoppin]

Originally posted by: samgau
DO it for your wife... put up with the hassle, lie if needs be.... She will be able to be god mother ie happier ie you will be happier.... simple... the bottom line is what will you do for love... good luck man

Be a "hypocrite for love" and "compromise your principles". . . .

Great advice . . .

not.

I would'nt. Is there a way for your wife to be a godparent and you not?

 

[Rogue]

Originally posted by: conjur
Can't they pick someone else to be the God father while your wife is the God mother? Happens all the time.

I don't know. I'm not too sure on all the technical details of the whole situation. Here's something I left out trying to get some good advice. She already told the parents that I'm a Christian. She didn't want them to deny us outright for my beliefs. She was worried that I would be angry at her, but I explained to her that she, for the first time, had to "suffer" some of the ridicule us non-believers get, so I was not mad at her. It was rather amusing really.

Anyway, I have to talk to my mother because I'm not sure if I was ever baptised, I may have been and don't recall. However, the whole confessing before the church and everything seems a little much for my tastes. This is something I will have to think hard on personally. The advice so far has been good. Keep it coming.

 

[apoppin]

Originally posted by: Rogue

Originally posted by: conjur
Can't they pick someone else to be the God father while your wife is the God mother? Happens all the time.

I don't know. I'm not too sure on all the technical details of the whole situation. Here's something I left out trying to get advice. She already told the parents that I'm a Christian. She didn't want them to deny us outright for my beliefs. She was worried that I would be angry at her, but I explained to her that she, for the first time, had to "suffer" some of the ridicule us non-believers get, so I was not mad at her. It was rather amusing really. Anyway, I have to talk to my mother because I'm not sure if I was ever baptised, I may have been and don't recall. However, the whole confessing before the church and everything seems a little much for my tastes. This is something I will have to think hard on personally. The advice so far has been good. Keep it coming.

Then FIND OUT THE FACTS before you commit yourself to a fascade of hypocricy.

Remind your wife that you love and support her but YOUR OWN children will have a CHOICE of religion or not. You can be as good an UNofficial "godparent" as a Roman Catholic one.

 

[Rogue]

Originally posted by: apoppin

Originally posted by: Rogue

Originally posted by: conjur
Can't they pick someone else to be the God father while your wife is the God mother? Happens all the time.

I don't know. I'm not too sure on all the technical details of the whole situation. Here's something I left out trying to get advice. She already told the parents that I'm a Christian. She didn't want them to deny us outright for my beliefs. She was worried that I would be angry at her, but I explained to her that she, for the first time, had to "suffer" some of the ridicule us non-believers get, so I was not mad at her. It was rather amusing really. Anyway, I have to talk to my mother because I'm not sure if I was ever baptised, I may have been and don't recall. However, the whole confessing before the church and everything seems a little much for my tastes. This is something I will have to think hard on personally. The advice so far has been good. Keep it coming.

Then FIND OUT THE FACTS before you commit yourself to a fascade of hypocricy.

Remind your wife that you love and support her but YOUR OWN children will have a CHOICE of religion or not. You can be as good an UNofficial "godparent" as a Roman Catholic one.

Good point. I am trusting my wife to give me the details, but I am sure that she's biased in this matter or not as knowledgeable as she might think, having never been a God Parent before now. I will look into it further.

 

[Zenmervolt]

You've already said that your wife can still be a God Parent. So you are not preventing her. (Or am I mis-uinderstanding? Is there a way for her to be a God Parent even if you are not?)

Even if that were a problem, my answer would remain the same: Do not get baptised unless you are with faith. That would be both intellectually and spiritually dishonest. In my opinion (which is may well be wrong as I am new to faith and I've not had a lot of study yet), conversion for reasons other than true belief is worse than no conversion at all.

ZV