YARicemarineT: To take offense or let it slide?

[Ricemarine]

Background:
- Working in a team on creating a proposal for a project in class
- During the proposal, there was mixed levels of participation
- I stayed up late (until 3:00 am) formatting, revising, and proofreading the final draft so we could turn it
in on time.

Problem:
- In class, we were supposed to provide discussions of any conflicts that may have emerged
- Most comments were superficial, more about how the team needs to do more work
- During that session, one teammate commented that @ 3:00am when he checked, the proposal looked like crap.
- This person did the least work in the proposal and the feedback during the final writeup was not helpful.

Question:
- To take offense or let it slide for this small matter?

 

[pontifex]

if you didn't take offense at the time why would you take offense now?

 

[gimmewhitecastles]

If it was crap your professor will see it too. If not his remark is baseless and will be disregarded.

 

[Drako]

Life lesson: Some people are just assholes - do your best to avoid them if you can.

 

[Ricemarine]

if you didn't take offense at the time why would you take offense now?

I guess the better question should be "should I confront him about this small matter?" I did take offense since I put effort into the work. I was just checking to see if ATOT feels his statement should be taken with a grain of salt or more (keeps me in check if you will).

Thanks ATOT!

 

[preslove]

I guess the better question should be "should I confront him about this small matter?" I did take offense since I put effort into the work. I was just checking to see if ATOT feels his statement should be taken with a grain of salt or more (keeps me in check if you will).

Thanks ATOT!

No.

But, you should stalk and prank him. Think flaming bag of poo, or something else annoying. He should be taught a lesson.

 

[FDF12389]

You should have said something at the time

 

[wheresmybacon]

Pull him aside after class and talk to him. If you're busting your ass and he's just throwing in crap from the peanut gallery, call him on it. You don't have to be an asshole about it, just say you'd really be interested in what he thinks could make the proposal better. And then when he says "well if we did x, then..." then you interrupt and say, "great! we're looking forward to seeing what your x looks like next meeting". Basically you're using his own ideas to assign him work.

 

[rcpratt]

I would have said something right then, but at this point I wouldn't bring it up again unless he does. Except maybe a small comment about putting more effort in if he had an issue with how it was done.

 

[Perknose]

I would take him aside and speak with him, evenly, calmly and without any accusatory rancor. This will clear the slate from your side. If he's not really an asshole, all will be good. If he is, he is and you will know it for sure.

It's best to get these things out of your system for your own mental and therefore physical health -- stress reduction/closure/moving on. But it's also important to do so in the most respectful and constructive manner possible, because a good end is what you seek for what may well have been a careless indiscretion on his part.

Shit happens. Cleaning it up helps everyone involved.

 

[Rumpltzer]

Life will be full of disappointing people. Should have said something at the time. Now that it's past, let it be. If ever on a team with this person again, express disinterest in working with this person because of what has happened in the past.

Hold a grudge.

Hold a grudge forever.

 

[somethingsketchy]

If it was crap your professor will see it too. If not his remark is baseless and will be disregarded.

You will learn this lesson time and time again. Your superiors will know who is the slacker and who is the worker in a group. In your situation his grade will reflect his participation in the group project.

 

[zinfamous]

In my experience, Asians have a really hard time not being offended.



...especially after I make comments like this.

😀

 

[Numenorean]

Well, did the proposal look like crap?

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

I've had good and bad experiences in group projects. One thing I've learned is to let the Prof know either in person or in team reviews when someone shirks their fair share. There's always going to be game players, people who don't care about the material, that just want to do the minimum to get a good grade. Team exercises suck up a disproportionate amount of time versus what they're worth as a percentage of your grade. Throw their asses under the bus.

 

[mcmilljb]

Group projects can suck. Most times someone has to do more work than the others. Someone is going to have scheduling conflicts, hate the proposals of others, or just plain be a dick about stuff.

My senior software design project had me in a group of 5 people (way too big, 3 should have been the limit). That led to problems above. I wasn't too keen on the idea of doing a video game because no one in our group had ever made one. However we ended up doing a game in the style of grand theft auto 1 where you just drive around and shoot missiles at the enemy. We were way over our heads for that.

 

[aloser]

When in doubt, get offended. It's the American way. Everyone knows this. And those who don't know this offend me.

 

[skyking]

I'd post it up on 4chan, let anon take care of him for you.

 

[SandEagle]

Maybe have a word with the professor first and let him know what's really going on?

 

[AlienCraft]

Well, Al's Rules of Recording* sez it's all crap after 3:00 am anyway, so unless that's a technical term the group has agreed on prior to his commentary, I would just let your work speak for itself. Self serving comments like that in a class setting are so over-the-top blatant as to be pathetic. Save your ire for something that matters.
Don't say anything to him,except let the occasional glance:sneaky: linger a little longer, and psych him out. 😱No change in facial expression,😕 the blanker the better. wait for it.....lul.:thumbsup:





*#3, In the continuing series.