YAKIRT: Yet Another Kid in Restaurant Thread.

[LeeTJ]

OK, so i've taken my family to a Friendly's, Ice cream parlor that also serves food. i'm not expecting a "atmosphere" type restaurant so i'm not bothered by that other poster when kids act up.

a mother and 2 kids sit in the booth next to us. the younger boy about 5 immediately starts to cry. i mean loud. she threatens him, she asks him to stop, finally she says, ok if you don't stop crying we're going home. (i'm thinking FINE). he doesn't stop. she continues to plead with him. he won't stop. this went on for 15 minutes.


I'm not gonna say she should have hit her child. it's her prerogative to raise her child as she sees fit, BUT if your going to give an ultimatum YOU HAVE TO LIVE UP TO IT.

She can't threaten to take him home if he doesn't stop and then NOT DO IT. well, in my opinion, he cried for 10 minutes AFTER she made the threat, that's WAYY past what she should have waited.

it's just my opinion of course.

So, he won. he got what he wanted and he also learned that his mothers ultimatums aren't worth sh!t.

i just find that to be bad parenting.

 

[notfred]

Maybe she should have offered to buy him a TV and DVD player if he'd stop crying.

 

[LeeTJ]

Originally posted by: Tyler
Maybe she should have offered to buy him a TV and DVD player if he'd stop crying.

probably woulda had the same effect and even if it did work, she probably would have reneged on the deal.

 

[TheBoyBlunder]

Originally posted by: Tyler
Maybe she should have offered to buy him a TV and DVD player if he'd stop crying.

I wish my parents would have done that...

 

[SpiderX]

I agree LeeTJ. If you are going to threaten them with a punishment like leaving then you'd damn well better go though with it. I work at a kids park and everyday rotten kids are told if you don't behave or quit crying we're going home. The kids keep acting bad and the parents never take them home.

Although I was really impressed by a young dad (20-21 maybe). His kids were acting bad on one of the rides, he said that was it, and they were going home. And he took them home. Very cool.

 

[LeeTJ]

Originally posted by: SpiderX
I agree LeeTJ. If you are going to threaten them with a punishment like leaving then you'd damn well better go though with it. I work at a kids park and everyday rotten kids are told if you don't behave or quit crying we're going home. The kids keep acting bad and the parents never take them home.

Although I was really impressed by a young dad (20-21 maybe). His kids were acting bad on one of the rides, he said that was it, and they were going home. And he took them home. Very cool.

It was once posted in one of these threads that this type of complaining is just bragging.

mb i am. but this is an issue that i think is VERY important.


people don't parent anymore. some do but not many. they are afraid of their children. it bothers me that parents are afraid to parent nowadays.

 

[Xionide]

I hate bad parenting. My neighbors son (also my landlords sister) has this kid max. He is a little brat. Totally spoiled. If he does not get what he wants he screams like a little girl. Recently they got this puppy and he doesnt watch the damn thing and it makes my dogs go crazy. I tell the little sh!t to call his dog, he starts say "come here lucky" (what a stupid frigging name) he has only had this dog 2 days. He then proceeds to scream its name in the most hidous voice i have ever heard. The god doesnt even know its damn name yet and he's screaming at it. I wanted to jump over my fence and take this kid and give'em a smack up side the head.

Xionide

 

[Mill]

Lee- All you can do is be glad that you are a good parent. I just dealt with some kids tonight and I promise you parenting was BIG part of the problem. It seem more and more today that people have kids and try to be their friend, instead of being a parent. Kudos to you for being a good parent and teaching your children how to behave.

 

[LeeTJ]

Originally posted by: Millennium
Lee- All you can do is be glad that you are a good parent. I just dealt with some kids tonight and I promise you parenting was BIG part of the problem. It seem more and more today that people have kids and try to be their friend, instead of being a parent. Kudos to you for being a good parent and teaching your children how to behave.

i'll be honest

i do try to be a good parent, but i think i'm also blessed with exceedingly well behaved children.

 

[dafatha00]

Originally posted by: LeeTJ
OK, so i've taken my family to a Friendly's, Ice cream parlor that also serves food. i'm not expecting a "atmosphere" type restaurant so i'm not bothered by that other poster when kids act up.

a mother and 2 kids sit in the booth next to us. the younger boy about 5 immediately starts to cry. i mean loud. she threatens him, she asks him to stop, finally she says, ok if you don't stop crying we're going home. (i'm thinking FINE). he doesn't stop. she continues to plead with him. he won't stop. this went on for 15 minutes.


I'm not gonna say she should have hit her child. it's her prerogative to raise her child as she sees fit, BUT if your going to give an ultimatum YOU HAVE TO LIVE UP TO IT.

She can't threaten to take him home if he doesn't stop and then NOT DO IT. well, in my opinion, he cried for 10 minutes AFTER she made the threat, that's WAYY past what she should have waited.

it's just my opinion of course.

So, he won. he got what he wanted and he also learned that his mothers ultimatums aren't worth sh!t.

i just find that to be bad parenting.

Yup. An empty threat.

 

[conjur]

Ayup...that was a big sore spot between my ex and I. Maybe it's just a 'mom' thing but she would get into long, drawn-out conversations with the girls at, say, bedtime when they were whiney and refusing to go to bed. Me? I come in and say, in a strong voice (not yelling), it's bedtime....NOW! I'm going to count to 3. If the whining continues I get to 1 and state it better stop or <insert name of privilege to be revoked the next day>. Then I get to 2 and it would usually stop.

Sometimes, my ex would do the 1..2...3 thing but she would count so fast as to not have any type of effect. And then, of course, once she hit 3 she would not back the threat up.

Being a parent means sometimes you have to be the firm disciplinarian and enforce 'the law'. Otherwise, you become a pushover of a parent and kids will push further and further.

 

[LeeTJ]

me personally, if my kids acted like that, they'd get a stern warning. a look and then i'd take them to the car and they'd get 1 or 2 whacks on the ass.

that would be it. and they would behave.

call me lazy but i think empty threats are a lot worse for kids than an occasional spanking.

i've never done it because it's never been called for but my kids know i would.

 

[Ornery]

Parenting should be taught in school, preferably wrapped around the Montessori model. Get that system down pat from the start, and make EVERYONE'S life easier. Following up on a threat is critical, but it shouldn't even come to that. They simply need to learn about the consequences of their actions, and that doesn't mean "punishment". They need to be allowed some control of their life. Once they have that, they get a handle on responsibility and consequences very easily.

There are times when they have no choice in a matter. That's when it's imperative that what you say is law. When I say come here, or get in bed, there is NO discussion. It used to bug me when my wife would say, "Go brush your teeth, OK?" NO! Not OK! It's brush your teeth, PERIOD. This is NOT a question. Of course, they should already be in the habit of brushing their teeth as a matter of routine, without being told. Kids need that. Hell, we ALL need good habits!

 

[LeeTJ]

Originally posted by: Ornery
Parenting should be taught in school, preferably wrapped around the Montessori model. Get that system down pat from the start, and make EVERYONE'S life easier. Following up on a threat is critical, but it shouldn't even come to that. They simply need to learn about the consequences of their actions, and that doesn't mean "punishment". They need to be allowed some control of their life. Once they have that, they get a handle on responsibility and consequences very easily.

There are times when they have no choice in a matter. That's when it's imperative that what you say is law. When I say come here, or get in bed, there is NO discussion. It used to bug me when my wife would say, "Go brush your teeth, OK?" NO! Not OK! It's brush your teeth, PERIOD. This is NOT a question. Of course, they should already be in the habit of brushing their teeth as a matter of routine, without being told. Kids need that. Hell, we ALL need good habits!

Agreed

I'm not saying that all parents should SPANK, i understand that some people have serious convictions against it, but even if you don't spank there should be a level at which it's not up to discussion. the parent speaks and the child obeys.

now that's only up to a certain age. i understand that. i give my oldest son more leeway on some things than his younger siblings. the art of parenting is that balance of controlling and letting go. i don't expect to treat my children at 15 the same as i do now.

but i think it's part of this "i'm a victim" "i'm not responsible" attitude that is becoming prevalent in society that is also becoming part of the way parents "Parent".

it's frightening. i'm afraid of what the next generation will be like.